Should I be concerned or should I trust her & give her space?
2006-07-30 18:25:03 · 13 answers · asked by staind 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She doesn't want me to go with her. she tells me to go out with my own friends. we end up leaving the kid home alone often.
2006-07-30 18:43:23 · update #1
I say you should ask her if you can join her. If she says sure, then quit worrying. If she says no, then you need to consider that there may be more to this than just hanging out with some friends. "Clubbing" generally refers to getting drunk and picking up guys. So as a married woman it isn't something I'd do without my husband. (Ok that sounds wrong but you know what I mean!)
2006-07-30 18:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by iahp_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother just went down that road with his girlfriend. It ended badly. In less than a week she was seeing someone else, told such bad lies about my brother that this guy wanted to beat him up, and she tried to take everything in the apartment(even the stuff that didn't belong to her. This happened just two weeks ago. They have a 13 year old son (not my brothers, but he raised him like his own). She pulled him out of an upper east side life and has put him in a part of town people are afraid to go to on purpose.
tell her how you feel about it. I'm not saying the same thing will happen (his now ex girlfriend is 36 as well). It just doesn't sound like the right thing to do. I could never do that to my husband or my kids.
Give her space, just different space.
2006-07-30 18:34:45 · answer #2 · answered by ~SSIRREN~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mr. Chivalry asks, "How often does she want to go clubbing? Do you want to go? Do you not want her to enjoy herself? Do you think she should be under your watch all the time?"
Mr. Chivalry says, "I know that she is a wife now, and she has sons, but they are big enough to take care of themselves. Sometimes, a spouse should be able to have his/her space and enjoy him/herself as he/she sees fit. As long as he/she is not doing anything that will consequently hurt the marriage, it should be fine. If your girlfriends are trying to get her to hook up with someone, then I can see it being a problem. However, if they just want to be with their friend and have a good time, then let it go. If you'll miss her that much, then put it on her before she leaves. Tell her you'll miss her, but to enjoy herself. Even help her pick out a nice outfit. Trust me, if you do these things, you'll show her that you trust her (if you really do), and when she gets home, she'll reward you. You gotta loosen up and let her have a little space. You might want poker night with the fellas. Get my drift?"
2006-07-31 10:29:00 · answer #3 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, id ask her if u could get a babysitter and go with her.. if she gets all freaked out by the thought of u joining.. there maybe an alterior motive to her wanting to go out, especially if other "guys" are involved.. also as long as it doesnt become a habit of needing to go out with the girls all the time to the point that shes neglecting u and ur sons..and if u do trust her, then theres nothing wrong with her going out and blowing off some steam here and there..
2006-07-30 18:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's 36, NOT DEAD. You have kids that are old enough to be alone for a little while, you both need to get back out there and do things that are fun...remind yourselves what it was like before you devoted the last 15+ years to kids and making their needs come first.
2006-07-31 08:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by stacilynn26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think once you get married that life isn't completely behind you, but clubbing should not be a thing that you do all the time. Ask her about this. Let her know that it makes you uncomfortable and makes you question trusting her. Maybe this will shed a new light on how you feel, to her.
2006-07-30 18:30:36 · answer #6 · answered by missgoodgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think there might be a need for concern. My ex was the same way, and look what happened. Since you say she's 36, a midlife crisis might be approaching? Something to look into.
2006-07-30 19:23:11 · answer #7 · answered by It's Just Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend in a marriage the closeness can be stiffeling so I would trust her and let her know you trust her to keep the marriage intact by letting her know you trust her and that her vows to you before God is important. Then pat her on the butt and tell her to have a good time. If she is honorable she will keep her vows and act accordingly. Pray that God will protect her and watch over her to prevent temptation. If something happens then God will let you know. Trust God in all things.
2006-07-30 18:34:48 · answer #8 · answered by Michael JENKINS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes give her the space but not 2 much
2006-07-30 18:36:39 · answer #9 · answered by Q'uetta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to save your marriage you better go with her, it sounds to me like the big change of life is about to set in on her
2006-07-30 18:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by rick v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋