Can I have some serious answers here?

Question

My boyf's older sister (now 20) just recently became pregnant, and I'm having trouble dealing with that for some reason. Suddenly, I HATE her (even more than usual) and want to know EVERYTHING about pregnancies. Also, I'm always sad now and think about my real mother that I never see. I'm so mad that I don't have my mother to talk about this kind of stuff with! Why do you think that I feel this way and how do I stop?!

Answer 1

You hate this woman because she symbolizes your mother. The dark part of your mind (where pain lives) knows that since she is going to be a mother, she is going to abandon her child like your mother did you. Also, this woman is now getting much more attention now because she is going to be a mother. She is going to be appreciated and cherished for being a mother. You see motherhood as something worthless because your mother shiit all over you, and you have every right to feel that way. It makes sense that you would be upset and angry. Feelings are neither bad nor good; the bad and good parts come from how you handle those emotions. If you don't want to talk to someone, try boxing. If you do some sort of physical activity, with your mother pictured as your opponent, you will be able to work through some of your emotions.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you are maybe a little jealous of her? Do you not trust her for some reason? I'm asking that because all of a sudden you want to know all about pregnancies. Why? You are obviously hurting because you don't see your real mother, and maybe thats why you are a little envious of her becoming a mother. I think you should just be happy for her instead. Just think, your b/f will become and uncle.....isn't that kinda neat? When the baby is born, maybe you can learn something from this. Don't be hateful for something so precious. Life is beautiful, even if you don't see your real mom. I think if it really bothers you alot, you should get some sort of councelling....hopefully that will help you with your hatred issues. Good luck!

Answer 3

Sorry to note that you have never met your real mother. And thats the problem. Not your sister-in-law. Please don't hate her. It will only make things worse for you. Have a frank talk with some mother-like person among your group of friends or relatives. Pour out your fears, frustrations and all your ill feelings. Take the burden off your chest and don't allow these bad feelings to ruin your life. Sit down, close your eyes and thank God for all the good things you have. You will appreciate and enjoy life more.

Answer 4

Stopping shouldn't be your concern right now. There are things that bother different people. You have to first understand and accept that this is how you feel. Don't make it out to be an abomination of a feeling. Accept it. That's step one!

Next, at the next family event talk to her casually about it.

Look, really sit down and think about this: What will hating or feeling bad do for you or anyone?

This is more about discoveries in yourself right now. Sit down and think for a long time, discuss it with your bf.

Answer 5

you probably feel that way because you miss you're own mother. And you may envy your boyfriends sis because the baby will have it's mother. I suggest you try to find your real mother if you haven't already. That way you can unleash some pain and share stories and get to know all of you and not just a side unleashed. think about it you wish you could talk to your mom about this and you can't and it makes you mad your boyfriends sis can give that to her child. if your mom though has passed (bless her heart) then you just envy that time that occured. either way it may revolve around your mom... and how you feel and how you want her around

Answer 6

Does your boyfriend pay more attention to her now? It's also possible that the pregnancy reminds you of the mother-daughter relationship you miss a lot but you never had. Or perhaps secretly you want a child of your own? If that's the case, you've still got a lot of time, you're so young.

Answer 7

Maybe you're jealous with the baby because the baby will have a mother, unlike what happened to you... you have to forgive your mother though you may or may not see her in the future you must learn how to forgive then maybe you'll be able to know how to deal with how you feel now... and you really need to seek for an advice...

Answer 8

Ok, I think that you are acting this way because you hate the fact that her mother is there to talk her through it. You might be jealous of her relationship with her mom. One way for you to stop is to let it all out. Find someone you trust and talk to them like they are your mother or sister. Even someone like me, someone that you don't know, you can ask ppl on line questions without the embarrassment.

Answer 9

You have anger issues about your mother which you need to resolve somehow. You feel that your place in life is tenuous and uncertain. Your reaction to your BF's sister's pregnancy could be a manifestation of your own maternal instincts, or it could simply be a way of lashing out at her on a new level. I sense much anger in your post. My advice is to do whatever you can to calm the anger, and ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Only by understanding your own feelings can you know how to deal with them. I wish you luck.

Answer 10

you feel that way b/c she will be the mother of a baby and you never see you mother so for some reason that gets to you. you want to know about pregnancies b/c you might want to be a mother and just dont know. you are just emotionally and mentally hurt because of your mother any thing dealing with mothers hurts you emotionally. you want to be a mother and a darn good one