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been together 3 years have a 1 y/o son. he is mean to me like calls me bit ch , who re, skank etc. then he says he loves me, it really hurts.
i mean he is nice somedays but most days he is mean. also he smokes pot and its ruining his life and he wont stop and plus i hate it its nasty.
hes 29 and i think its time for him to grow up but he wont, he wont even look for a job

i mean i love him but im not in love with him, i would hate to lose him but its hard being with him because hes so mean

what should i do? can anything be done to make it work?
i dont want our son to lose a family.

2006-07-30 16:43:29 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

18 answers

It sounds as if he is being verbally abusive to you. Is that the life you want? Is that a good environment to raise a child? Think about it.

A child learns to treat others the way his parents show him. If his dad is talking to you like that, how will your son treat women when he is grown? Is that what you want?

You son will not lose a family. He will gain a secure environment to be raised and taught right and wrong. Isn't that the best for a child?

You know the best answer but are looking for ways to avoid it, aren't you? For your well-being and that of your child just give up and get out. You will be much happier in the long run.

2006-07-30 16:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 3 0

You answered your own question really. You say how he is and any of us reading it can tell that he is a shithead. I wouldn't ever treat my woman that way. You must weigh how you want your child to grow up. You need your child to have a good male influence over it. If your a parent then you not only work for your well being but the well being of that child. 3 years seems like a long time when your younger. Ask yourself...where will this relationship be 5 years from now. your child is 1 year old now....you must do whatever you are going to do now. This is the point when that child can warm up to another person quickly. Sometimes you must break a family to make a family. Do what is right for you and the kid.....give both of you a good family setting. don't put up with a lazy partner.

2006-07-30 18:06:17 · answer #2 · answered by Matt S 2 · 0 0

I so feel you on the son losing a family bit. 3yrs is a good long time. That is so hateful of how he acts toward you. No one should endure that kind of abuse. And the smoking pot is not a good thing to be doing, especially if there is a child around. If you are not in love anymore, then the relationship isn't worth holding on to, even if there is a child involved. I personally think that there would be less harm done to the child in the long run, living apart then there would be staying together; especially if there is verbal abuse going on. I would have said go and see a counselor if you were still IN love with him, but only because you just love him, don't even bother. You might get along better being apart. Take your son to see him every weekend, but since he smokes pot, I wouldn't leave him alone with him. It would just be better off on both your parts if you two broke it off. Yourself personally just shouldn't endure that much longer. It'll mess you up too if you keep staying around that much longer.

2006-07-30 17:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Your question say is at "i mean i love him but im not in love with him, i would hate to lose him but its hard being with him because hes so mean". Leave his azz and find a man who respects you. As long as you stay with him you are letting him treat you like dirt. Stop supportting him, kick him to the curb, look at for your son by making your bf grow up.

2006-07-30 16:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by Tim 3 · 0 0

Sometimes relationships become bad habits, like biting nails, or emotional eating. He knows that his mean words hurt you, but he says them anyway. Who cares that he apologizes! He is old enough to know better, but he acts like a kid. You already have a beautiful one year old; why would you want to adopt a 29 year old? Good luck.

Your son won't lose his family because he'll always have you, the heart and head of his family.

2006-07-30 16:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle M 3 · 0 0

What your boyfriend is doing is abuse to you and your child. You should take the child and leave him and don't look back. It is hard to raise a child in a single parent home, but a home where there is abuse is not a home at all. Living with an abusive person will not give your child a family.

2006-07-30 16:55:32 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0 0

You have to decide if it is more important for your son to have you and his father together for the sake of being together, or if it is more important to grow up in an invironment where there isn't name calling and yelling and fighting. I know that my husband and I agreed that if we ended up being like that to one another then we wouldn't force our kids to live like that. Even if you love this guy remember that your child didn't choose to come into this world, and it is your responsibility to protect him and give him the life he deserves. He is the important one... just remember that. AND try talking to your boyfriend and tell him that if it doesnt stop then you'll have to leave to give your baby the life he deserves.

2006-07-30 16:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by mysterygirlx 2 · 0 0

I think you and your son would be better off without him. Move on and restart your lives and also get child support started. When you do that, he would have no choice and would have to find a job and support his child, If he doesnt pay, he could be jailed, lose drivers license or whatever means they can find to get support for your child.

2006-07-30 16:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by kf4wwe 4 · 0 0

My ex used to smoke pot all the time and after awhile he stared to call me names then he became abusive! I would leave! Have your family help you move out! You need a lot of support!! You do not deserve this! I got out of that relationship and met my husband!! You need to leave him and I would tell him in front of family!

2006-07-30 16:49:35 · answer #9 · answered by whateva 4 · 0 0

well all i have to say is, i looked at Ur 360 page, and your good looking, smart, and ur son is cute....why,why do even thinking about marrying this guy. girls DONT need a guy, most guys need girls, leave him, or tell him to leave.

if he doesn't go tell someone who you trust about whats going on, go down to the police and just file a report so they have something....
TOO,TOO, MANY girls don't do that and they get hurt or worst, plez if your unhappy that means it wont get better...

leave now while u still can

if u need to talk more IM me or e-mail

god bless and good luck


PS. to make u smile, wow that's alot of puppy's :))

2006-07-30 17:03:19 · answer #10 · answered by truthfinder1960 4 · 0 0

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