I have A 7 month old daughter hyper-active and just found out Im pregnant AGAIN and my husband is in...?

Question

Jail help me PLEASE!! Im 18 yrs old!

my husbands he just went in this july

ok I did have protection but some slipt ok..and no job, no baby sitter, same daddy, no need to say why hes in jail, and no college yet.

ok sorry she is hyper though and she crawls too much and gets lots of things..
MY husband is THE DADDY alright i dont sleep w/ other guys Im not a cheater I love my husband to death NO i will not consider adoption neither however never consider abortion.

i have not talked to my mother i live with her thats whats scaring me

Answer 1

First, your baby in the avatar is adorable. Secondly , ignore anyone saying that they have found out what causes pregnancy, because you learn from your history, and it is too late now. First , let me tell you, I have been in your shoes. My son was 9months, and he was a fussy, colicky baby, and I found out I was pregnant again. I was married, but I was devestated nonetheless, as my husband was not much of a "hands on" father. I somewhere found the strength to go on, carry a baby, a full time job and raise my son. You will too!!! You probably already have maternity clothes, and you can use your daughter's car seat, walker, etc. You will be very very tired, but you can do it. This is the time to ask for friends' help, and family help too. If the dad's family is supportive, they can help too. The other side, is you can terminate this pregnancy if it is not too late. I had four kids, and my husband had died, and on a lonely night I stupidly had a one night stand in which I got pregnant. I KNEW that a pregnancy termination was the right decision, and I stand by that decision today!!! You can also adopt the baby out, in which an adoptive couple may help you with medical expenses and the like. This is YOUR decision, YOU have to carry this baby. DO not become down if someone judges you, as they have not walked in your shoes. There are young women out there, who know how you feel, you are not alone. This will be difficult, but you can do it... my best wishes to you.

Answer 2

Pregnant by whom? Your husband or some other guy? Details please...Why is he in jail? What's your overall situation, are you working, in college, what's going on? I like to have the big picture to give you an objective answer. This sounds juicy!!

Ok..now it seems that you have already decided what to do. No to both adoption and abortion, therefore you'll be a mother of two. Granted, it will be difficult for the time being especially while your husbands in jail. I hope he's not in there for the long hall. The Lord will not give you more than you can bear and you'll be able to handle the situation. However, it may take some tears, a whole lot of maturity, patience, and guidance. Hopefully, you'll have your friends and family for support. What you need to do is concentrate on finding a job and adequate daycare. Stop worrying, because nothing waste more energy than worrying. It's time to focus a be a strong and dependable mother and father for the being. Best Wishes.

Answer 3

Please talk to your parents, pastor or dr. Dont get too stressed out or you won't feel well enough to tend to your baby. You need to think over your options. Is the boy in jail the father of the baby? If he is he will have to sign papers agreeing to give the baby up for adoption if that is a choice. Please do not have an abortion because it will haunt you for life. Give the baby a chance with a good family. You are so young to have 2 and have to support them alone. The bf doesn't seem to care about them or you since he did something to go to jail for. If he really loved you and the baby he would work hard to support you and he would stay clean. His actions have to be the same as his words before you can believe him. While he is in jail he will tell you everything you want to hear but not do it when he gets out. He wants what he wants.You need to build a life for you and the baby, get a job,pay bills,love your daughter, and maybe get training for a better job so you can support yourself well.Build yourself up and have a safe and happy home for your child. That will make you feel wonderful because you will do it yourself and not depend on a guy that will drag you and the baby through years of misery or will leave at any time. I know you can do it, moms can do anything. Ask God for the strength you need to get through this tough time and to help you decide what to do with the baby.If I can help contact me.I have had experince in this type problem.

Answer 4

Only two children? You should be able to handle this. Forget about the opportunities you are missing, and focus on the huge opportunity in front of you.

You have the privilege of shaping a human life. How cool is that? Is there any kind of recreation, work, attention, or hobby you could have that would ever hold a candle to that? This is what you were born to do.

Hyperactivity is something that people call needy kids. They throw the term around like it's nothing. Don't believe it.

What your 7 month old needs is you. 24/7 if possible. Look at her, talk to her, hold her close to your body as much as possible - even sleep with her. This is based on the latest research.

If there is anything "wrong" with your daughter - then "hyper-attention" will fix it better than anything.

The more closeness and attention you pay now, the less you pay later - it's tried and true. You want a happy teenager? It begins now.

It's hard sometimes to get over what we missed as children, but that's a luxury to worry about now. You have got to do everything you can to focus as much love as you can stand giving on that baby - and the next one. Love=time=focus on the babies.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Your baby is normal. Just wait until she starts walking - hehe. Just put stuff that isn't safe for her up high where she can't get it. Otherwise, if her surroundings are safe then go ahead and let her explore. That's how babies learn!

As for the 2nd baby, I know it's tough. I had my first 2 kids when I was young and they were close together in age. Just make sure you have help - whether it's from family, friends, or a local support group. Honestly, you will be too overwhelmed to do it totally alone. I'm not trying to scare you, just be honest, especially if you don't have a great means to take care of yourself and them.

Whoever mentioned education being important is right! Use the system to pay for daycare, etc., while you take some classes somewhere, or get your GED if you don't have it. Someday you'll be a tax payer and you'll make it up to them 100 times over.

You really need to take a good look at your husband. I know you love him, but is he worth all he's putting your family through? He should be there to support you through this and instead he scewed up and is in jail for who knows how long. What are his priorities?

It's hard to give advice to someone so young. I know you feel grown, but you really have so much more growing up to do! You will look back someday and realize how different things could have been. I know I did. Just please make sure your kids are taken care of properly if nothing else.

Answer 6

Wow...I can't say that I know how you feel, because I have never been there, but I can say that I can tell you are totally stressed out. Where are you living? What do you need help with? Have you finished high school? The main thing that you have to do is get your education. You cannot depend on anyone but YOU to take are of you and your kids. You say that your 7 month old is hyper active? Who the heck diagnosed that at SEVEN months? I would get another opinion. Get into school. Do as much as you can now before you have this baby. Your ticket out is your education!!!

Answer 7

Try making changes in your daughter's routine now, before you get really big. Rearrange your house or at least the rooms that she can get into and make it so that she CAN explore. She's just naturally curious, if you give her ways to express that curiousity you'll both be a lot happier. My son is into EVERYTHING, has been since he learned how to scoot around on the floor. Now he's learning to walk and the babyproof level just keeps getting higher and higher. Finally, out of frustration, I rearranged my furniture so he can't get behind it anymore, got some organizer boxes to put his stuff in like his toys, books, diapers etc, and took everything out of the living room that I didn't want him getting into. Your baby is going to want to be wherever you are, which is why confining them to the bedroom is not always the best plan. Keeping them out of the bathroom, kitchen and dining room (except for feeding time) is a good idea, it will mean less stress for you in keeping everything out of baby's reach. BABY GATES!!! Don't waste your money on the fancy, expensive ones, since they are usually a hassle to install and work the same if not worse than the cheap ones, though I reccomend the coated-wire ones instead of the cheaper plastic ones, just for your peace of mind that they won't be falling apart anytime soon. I also reccomend getting help around the house, whether it be a friend or family, as you prepare for another baby. Don't stress too much right now, you've got 8 more months to figure out what you're going to do and you'll make it work. People always find ways.

I think it is a good idea to get the assistance that is available if you qualify. There is a lot out there, and if you're already on medicaid for your kids, talk to your caseworker. It's their job to refer you to other services. The more clients they have and services they can help you with, the longer they get to keep their jobs. Check with "families first" or whatever program your WIC or medicaid office has to help coordinate services for you, to help explain things that the other people don't have time to.

Answer 8

some of these people obviously cant read well or even do the math. i believe that he is the father. I feel sorry for you, i'm not sure what he's doing to get himself in jail, but you can't put up with that for the rest of your life either. But now in the meantime, you are really gonna have to get some help. Do you have family you can count on? You need to go to social services and get on goverment help. WIC for you and the kids, medicaid for health insurance. and food stamps. maybe they can help with the utility bills, or housing if needed. Just be strong, and youll get through this. Don't let these people get you down, atleast your married and Dont want to get an abortion. STAY FOCUSED.some of us women can be very strong when we need to be. Just get some help, find a partime job and deal with it . YOU CAN DO IT!!. goodluck

Answer 9

ok experts say you should always wait 2 years between children and with one who is hyper active I beleive you will have huge problems with a second.. so I suggest either abortion or adopting
you are young and its hard raising kids - having 2 kids will be a problem and a burden you need to get your life on track so please dont keep the second child - you may even consider giving up the first one too if you feel this is the right thing to do.. dont feel guilty - to it out of love for the child you are not giving it away you are giving it the gift of a family who can afford a child

jail is no place for a parent to be so you need to ask yourself what kind of man is he?? if he is a permanent mess (and beleive me, some men are - my first boyfriend was, and I am so glad I didnt stay with him - I was dopey at the time and despirate) anyhow so the point is - think about yourself and your kids - if you love them dont keep them if your situation is hopeless....

Answer 10

Your daughter is 7 months old. You can not say hyper-active at this age. You are pregnant again.

DId you learn nothing the 1st time, and Dad is in jail. Do you work, who will be supporting you and your children?

Sorry if you came here for sympathy, you are old enough to know better.