i just want to know how to learn how to forgive and forgett, its so hard because the pain feels like if its still fresh. My husband and i have gotten into many arguments because i want to talk and he doesn't , the thing is he did something that bothered me a lot and well i just felt very betrade and hurt. We " talked " but i just feel like i talked to a wall not to my husband.
I keep wanting to talk to him but he tells me that the subject is done with and that theres nothing to talk about. So he wants me to just forgett everything and forgive him and i told him it would take some time. How can i speed up the process?
2006-07-30 16:37:41 · 18 answers · asked by audri 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I really don't know if you can speed up the process of forgive and forget. But if the problem is still an issue that you feel the need to discuss further, the process of forgive and forget can never begin. It would probably be in the best interest of your marriage to seek counseling, and that ids for both you and your husband.
2006-07-30 16:46:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 1 · 8⤊ 2⤋
It depends on what the situation is that requires forgivness. If he cheated on you, then that will definitely take some time. I cheated on my husband a few years ago and he forgave me. We are still together after 12 years and 3 children and we are happy. Cheating is the hardest thing to get over, and it's been said that it's harder for a man to get over an infidelity than for a woman. Which I believe to be true. So, if cheating is the circumstance, than there is hope. If it's something else, then I would suggest to let some time pass and gently bring the matter up again. Let your husband know how you're feeling without being accusatory and maybe you'll get some results. I wish you the best of luck!
2006-07-30 16:49:01 · answer #2 · answered by Peg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you shouldn't. if hes not sorry about it chances are pretty good either he's still doing what ever it was that bothered and hurt you or he is going to do it again, do you really want to live with that in your life? i think you need to leave, go to your moms or a friends house for a week or so, and then try and talk to him if you still want to do so. if someone isn't really sorry for something it makes it so much harder to forgive them for it. i know being married is a serious commitment but sometimes the best thing you can do is take a step back and reflect on things otherwise they will just snowball out of control, things like this you can't just sweep under the rug and hope they go away, cause they will just fester.
2006-07-30 16:45:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very very difficult to forgive at times. But remember when someone hurts you, it is really their failing and not yours. Those who need love the most are often the ones most difficult to love. I am sure that if you can rise above the situation and learn to forgive you will feel much better about yourself, the other person will be surprised, and could even turn out to be a good friend. Give it a try.
2006-07-30 16:42:47 · answer #4 · answered by Jim G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant....not until your sure there is some kind of resolution to the problem.
Thats not going to happen until your husband sits down with you and admits that he understands what hurt you and why.
Then he needs to actually ask for your forgiveness with the promise of never doing that thing again.
Just be aware of the fact that in a lot of cases where men dont want to talk about something....its because they dont want to be cornered into promising they wont do it again.
2006-07-30 16:42:41 · answer #5 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving and forgetting is something you do for yourself, so you can let yourself off the hook, and get past the anger. You're not really doing it for them. Your situation touched a sore spot for me, though, because frankly, I lived with my first husband 20 years, and he treated me with the same behaviour as you described. It is demeaning, he refuses to recognize your feelings, he is not being respectful of you nor showing that he values you when he responds that way. I don't think this issue is so much about forgiving him, but perhaps a wake up as to who you're married to.
2006-07-30 17:53:53 · answer #6 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he doesn want to listen tell him its over if the shoe was on the other foot he would want answers and its not fair to you that you haveto take this abuse oh and if u didnt know that is what it is abuse(emotional) im sure he has done this many times b 4 and you let it pass but i guess something bigger happened and now you really want answers but dont even think about the past tommorow is a new day and you need to let him know you tired of the games you need to stand up and let him know ur tired of playing little girl ur a grown woman and he better realize it
2006-07-30 16:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving is an agreement. Forgetting is harder. You can tell you've "forgotten" it again when the two parties can mention the incident without malice.
2006-07-30 16:41:04 · answer #8 · answered by dimbulb52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you love someone so much, you will forgive him or her no matter what he or she do....but you can never forget, as when 2 persons is so much in love, whatever they do is so unforgetable.
2006-07-30 17:01:55 · answer #9 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to focus on the bright side in him, keep thinking about his advantages, hope will help much
2006-07-30 16:44:46 · answer #10 · answered by boiling boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋