Especially in our home town. She has even gone as far as going to the government. I have known him for 12 years and she is just an acquaintance. He has been divorced from her for 3 years. We got maried in June of 06. We started talking in January. She has even told her kids that I am a bimbo and all kinds of other things. I have done nothing to this woman and she still talks negetively about me and him. Especially to their children. I need some advice about how to deal with this without stooping to her level.
2006-07-30 15:32:05 · 12 answers · asked by msladysmith 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No I was not the other woman. I had not talked to him in 11 years when we started talking. sorry if that is the way i made it sound. He lived in Wi and i live in Ut
2006-07-30 15:41:43 · update #1
She wouldn't let me meet the kids. I met their son but not their daughter. She has told my husband that they are not aloud around me and that they will not be able to see their father unless he does what she wants him to.
2006-07-30 15:47:11 · update #2
be who you are and let him deal with her.... ex's are a touchy thing in most cases a remarry.... it takes a big person to turn the other cheek and go on with life..... he can take her to court if he feels the need to do so, she is breaking the law if he has visitation with his kids.... she can NOT keep them from him !!
keep a smile on your face and support your new husband in his choices.... talk to him about it and keep the lines of communication open with him...... it is prob. hard on him, i hope it is, means he is a caring and loving father, but he is the one who has and needs to deal with it ...... you can only be there for him....... and when the kids are there be just you... show them in little ways that you are not a bad step..... dont let them walk over you, but give a little until they get to know the real you...... good luck and God bless.......
2006-07-30 16:14:10 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to her you did do something you married her ex and now he is happy and you are involved in the childrens life!! That's what you did.. You are such a bad person!!!! lol
Really there isn't much you can do except a lawsuit if she has gone around slandering you..
You really can't stop her from running her mouth let's just hope that people know you and your husband and don't believe a word she is saying!!
As for the kids this is so common and is pretty pathetic that a person(especially a Mom) would be so cruel to turn a child against a person who cares and wants nothing but the best for them..
Depending on the age of the children when the subject is brought up(by the children)then you and your husband need to have a talk with them and ask them how do they feel about you and how does it make them feel when their Mom says mean things about you.. Reassure them that you are not and will never try to take their Moms place and that you do Love them and only want them to be happy.. Try to keep the lines of communication open with the kids and let them know everyday how special they are to you!!
Good Luck!! A blended family is not easy but it can work!!
Hi just read your additional detail!! Your husband, if he has visitation in court papers, should contact a lawyer!! She can not with hold his children from him.. The only time she can is if he was and is abusive towards them!! She can not keep them you you or him!!! Even if he stops paying child support she can't stop them!! That is what happened to a friend.. She thought since her ex did not pay court ordered child support she could keep their daughter from seeing him and she was wrong, so now he sees her and does not pay !!!
This is something ya'll need to check on!!
What gives her the right.. Other than being a total B****!!!
2006-07-30 15:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by DeeDee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to move to a new town. Close enough to see the kids but in another town further from her. And dont move to a small town. In addition it would be best to use a middle man to hand off the kids back and forth so she doesnt know your new address. If you have to try and get a restraining order against her if she is going too far. Tell the kids of hers the truth, that their mom is upset but what she says about you is not true.
2006-07-30 15:44:36 · answer #3 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok my ex and his girlfriend did this too but I reminded him what our divorce decree said....your husband can do this as well....go back to the courts and ask for the kids to live with u because she is not being a stable woman talking about their dad that way...i know its hard when you get divorced to be nice to the person who treated you like crap but we are all adults and need to learn how to take control of the situation..think of the kids and not yourself...sheesh I cant believe that there are mom's out there that do that....anyhow its called deformation of character and what that is she's not allowed to talk bad about you or your husband and visa versa....if she does the kids automatically come out of her home and she can be held in contempt of court...i know it sounds serious but the thing is you cant allow this it will ruin the kids lives and make them miserable and resentful!
2006-07-30 15:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by tinker143 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there's not much you can do. Most ex wives never have anything good to say about the new wife. I suggest you tune her out, let her talk to the voice mail when she calls. Tell your husband to tell the kids not to tell you anything their mom has to say. From now on she doesn't exist.
2006-07-30 15:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by askmeguru21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like jealous Women, who cant stand to see her former Husband happy. Whatever you do, dont become like her. Be kind to the Children, they have Eyes and Ears and will soon see what she is doing. She will be the Loser. If it becomes VERY BAD, your Hubby needs to take Steps then.
2006-07-30 15:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by lousylaus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through all of this and is why I am no longer dating my gf. Her ex would not leave her alone after three years and did not want her with anyone else. Our only option was to end it until things cool off.
2006-07-30 15:36:49 · answer #7 · answered by Steel D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all of ya just need to grow up a little, no alot. Gone to the government for what. She can't 'start problems' unless you and others feed into it. Ignore it all.
2006-07-30 16:18:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't entangle yourself with her. That is what she wants.
Actions will speak for themselves. don't worry what she tells others, let them judge you on what they see from her. most will realize she's bitter anyway.
If she tells her kids stuff, make sure they understand it isn't true.
Have your husband talk with her kids if need be.
If you respond to her, she wins.
2006-07-30 15:40:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea ill beat you were the other women for years and your the home wrecker we cant feel sorry for you just suck it up and give him back
2006-07-30 15:37:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋