I just found out about 4 days ago that I am pregnant. I am worried that I will not be a good parent. I am not married, but engaged. The person I am with is the father. We live together. At first when I found out I was really scared and now I am so excited. I just want to know if anyone has any tips about my pregnancy, raising a child, or anything else anyone thinks I should know! All will be read! Thank you!
2006-07-30 15:07:16 · 18 answers · asked by NSeni 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
know that it will be the hardest thing you have ever done. follow your instincts but be open to others opinions. make sure you follow all of the doctors instructions. and most of all, remember that you will love the child more than anyone else in the world.
2006-07-30 15:13:42 · answer #1 · answered by nedoglover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation as you. My fiance (boyfriend at the time) and I were looking for rings, because we wanted to get engaged.This was before we knew I was pregnant. We found out and I was really scared, because we live in an apartment, and don't have great jobs. I'm really excited now though :) We found out that we could get MediCal (since we weren't married yet) and it covers all of my pregnancy costs! I don't have to pay anything. I'm about 19 1/2 weeks pregnant right now.
The advice I can give you, listen to what everyone says (even though you won't agree with everyone) they are just trying to help. Also, take your vitamins! They aren't just good for the baby, but they are good for you also. Your body will go through a lot while you are pregnant, and they help to replenish what you lose. Also, rest as much as you can (don't stress out, as hard as that seems!). Also, give in to your cravings! Trust me, I tried to eat right, no bad stuff for the first month, but that didn't last! You will be much much happier if you just give into them! Good luck with everything, and CONGRATS!!!
2006-07-30 16:22:27 · answer #2 · answered by Huliganjetta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a normal feeling to think you're not going to be a good parent.
I'm 5 months, and those feelings are finally washing away, now I'm so excited!! And I can't believe, how scared I was 4 and a half months ago... I'd cry myself to sleep, this wasn't something I was as prepared for as I thought I'd be! But as time goes by, you'll feel more and more secure, and confident in yourself as a parent.
I'm in a pretty tough situation to be having a child, but something that is always on my mind:
Your baby doesn't care about money.
All your baby cares about is YOU, and Daddy, and being warm, having a full belly, and having a clean bottom... And feeling love.
You will feel your baby's emotions, they are chemicals passing through the placenta. I can tell when my baby is afraid, missing daddy... Talk to your baby, tell your baby everything is ok. Don't be scared, your baby will be scared, too. Just relax, be happy! This is a wonderful time!! I can hold my belly, and just feel him squirming and bouncing all around, he's growing, and it's beautiful!!
And sex will probably be awesome at least eventually!
If not, then masturbate, the orgasms are fantastic... Just a tip ;)
2006-07-30 15:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats! It is so overwhelming at first I know. I have a 2 month old now and I am so blessed. The advice I would give you is to take your prenatal vitamins now, and never miss. Get allot of materials to read. What To Expect When You Are Expecting is the best book ever, it goes through it week by week.
My mom told me when I was pregnant to get as much sleep as possible, but I was to busy and Happy. I wish I did. For the first 2 months when he is born you will not sleep well at all. So sleep now.
Start stalking up on diapers, cloths, wipes, lotions and formula
it will save you allot of time and money in the long run!
You will be a great mom! I was crying during my last tri-mester about going into labor, but it really wasn't that bad at all. You will do great, and remember read read read...It will calm you down, and help prepare you for motherhood! God bless.
2006-07-30 15:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats!!! Feeling scared is normal. It is a very exciting time. If you need help with nutrition WIC is a wonderful program. (Be sure to speak with them while you are pregnant, they have alot of information on questions you may have.) If you plan to breastfeed, find out as much info as you can before hand. I had a problem with breastfeeding, and I feel if I would have had more info I might have been able to. My only other advice is give them lots of love, hugs and kisses, because before you know, they're all grown up. Also, the best thing in the world is when they call you Mama.
2006-07-30 15:38:31 · answer #5 · answered by rollergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider seeing a midwife instead of an OB. Midwives are well trained and provide much more personal care. You'll be lucky to see your OB for more than 5-10 minutes at an appointment. Most midwives will spend 30 mins to 1 hour with you at each appointment! They will also be with you through your whole labor if you need them, unlike a doc who will show up to catch at the end!
Read lots of good books on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and baby care.
The Pregnancy Book by Dr. Sears
The Birth Book by Dr. Sears
The Birth Partner by Simkin
Birthing From Within by England
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League
Adventures in Gentle Discipline by Hilary Flower
The Baby Book by Dr. Sears
The AAP's Guide for Birth through 5 Years (not the exact title?)
Take an independent childbirth class instead of a hospital one. Hospital classes teach you to be a good PATIENT and you want to learn to be a good CONSUMER.
Consider hiring a doula for your birth. Some hospitals will even provide one for you for FREE if you ask ahead of time! Look into this! Doulas are amazing and so helpful for hospital births and especially with a first timer!
Research and write a birth plan that you discuss with your partner and your caregiver. Have the caregiver sign it and put it in your file.
Attend La Leche League meetings while you are stll pregnant to establish a support system for breastfeeding. Meetings are free and you can often check out books from a group library that will be very helpful. Once the baby is here, the LLL Leader will help you for free if you have breastfeeding questions or problems! (AND be sure you see the Lactation Consultant while you are in the hospital.)
When baby comes home....
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Keep a list of things that need to be done on your fridge and if people ask how they can help, point them to the list.
Commit to breastfeeding for at least 6 weeks. That's the hardest part. Once you get through that it will get easier and baby will establish patterns that you can recognize and may space out feedings more.
Remember that YOU are the expert on YOUR baby, not the ped, not your mom or MIL, not some book and not someone on the internet. YOU live with your baby and YOU know what is best for him/her.
Hope this helps!
Congratulations!
2006-07-30 15:17:58 · answer #6 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! Well, children do not come with instruction manual's. It may be difficult, but you will learn as you go. I remember feeling the same way you do. But, I know I'm a great mother to my daughter (15 months). As far as tips, be sure to get plenty of rest and TRY to enjoy your pregnancy. It will go quickly. As far as raising the child, your instincts will tell you what to do. Good luck.
PS - Join Baby Center!!! You find plenty of information there. And you will meet lots of other women who are at the same stage in their pregnancy as you are! Baby Center was and still is a great resource center! www.Babycenter.com
2006-07-30 15:13:38 · answer #7 · answered by NaSerenity0305 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow there's some much good advice already all I can add is trust your instincts, people may try and step in but follow your own gut and body when it comes to you and your baby.
There is loads of support and information out there if you look for it.
I am a L&D nurse and mother and am willing to answer questions if you need.
Good luck and congratulations!
2006-07-30 15:26:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart/gut!! people can give you advice all day long but you have to know when to listen and when to let it go. Remember this is your child and you have common sense so you'll now what to do when the time is right. There is no such thing as a perfect parent.
2006-07-30 15:15:34 · answer #9 · answered by baby11kc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first i hada baby at 17 and if i can do you can too, i had a hardtime at first, but the babys daddy married me and everything turned out ok. my little girl is healthy and wonderful, the only advice i have is do what your doc says and take your vitamins and after like 5-6 months dont lift anything to heavy, really what you should do is take it easy like when your sick take it easy and dont worry enjoy all you can i went into preterm labor and had my little girl 1 and half months early from being stressed and we were moving and like a dummy i lifted stuff i shouldnt have lifted, so like i said jsut take it easy and enjoy your pregnancy!! congrats!!
2006-07-30 15:24:19 · answer #10 · answered by sammie nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋