i need help tellin my parents i like grls nd idk wens the right time because they dont approve of homosexuality and im just really scared? i figured that i was into grls in 7th grade am 15 now goin into sophmore yr and now im still trying to accept it. but idk wens the right time.... can ne1 help me out?
2006-07-30 14:37:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Don't go there if they cannot accept it now. Wait until you are long out of their house.
Once it's out, that's it. If your folks say anything to anyone else in the family, or their friends, you may possibly experience:
1. Acceptance and love
2. Ostracism (may ask you to leave or see a psychiatrist — worst scenario a Religious counselor)
3. Others they have told may use it against you to hurt you, if they do not like you to begin with, by spreading the information to others not connected to your family.
4. Bodily harm.
In the mean time, you can go online. There are help centers for gay teens — places where you can find other gay teens to talk to about what you are going through. Many of them have creative activities like painting, photography, sports, music, theatre, etc. stuff to get involved in with other gay teens.
So, hold off on telling Mom and Dad for now. Move to a gay-friendly city, when you go on to university, and then have a happy life. There's nothing wrong with you. Being gay and a teen is very hard. Later you will find your niche in the parts of our society that are more evolved. There are plenty of resources to help you.
Good luck and keep going to have a happy life. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. They can live their lives — not yours. So be true to yourself & have a good one.
2006-08-05 12:18:50 · answer #1 · answered by mitch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE do not rush to tell your parents...they have not asked, do not volunteer information that they do NOT need at this time. You don't ask them what they do in the bedroom, don't tell them what you would like to do....it is NONE of their business at this time. BUT, you are dependent upon them for you future, you housing, your food, your well being. Don't take a chance on a very bad reaction ... there is JUST NO NEED to fill them in on this. Settle down, this is not an epiphany to you...you know your mind..that is just fine. Keep it to yourself. Do not share this with even your best GF, for sure enough, it will be all over the school, and then into your parent's ears. Some things, when young and dependent, are best kept secret until such time as it is relevant to speak. NOW is not the time. Good luck
2006-07-30 21:52:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At fifteen its still just puppy love. I know thats not what any fifteen year old thinks , I always thought that it would be my love for the rest of my life. But reality says you will have alot of relationships before you make that liftime commitment. So dont bother telling your parents unless the time is right (you will know) or you get ready to move in with somebody.You are young enough that you could still go either way if that special someone comes along , so dont make waves if you dont need to.
2006-07-31 00:21:47 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The right time is not now. My best friend Kristy came out to her parents her sophmore year and they were homophobic. Everything for her changed. She has to pay for everything herself, even college. She couldn't hang out with any of her friends for a really long time. Now she just can't have sleep overs. They even had the church pray for her. And then they wrote letters to Kristy's friends families and told them Kristy was gay and that if they didn't want their kids to hang out, that they undrestood. It's a very big decision to come out to your parents. I understand wanting to tell your family. But do your best and try to stick it out. Atleast until you're on your own and can support yourself, or you know they will accept it. Maybe you should just hypothetically ask them what they would do? As for still trying to accept yourself, I am too. I think it's kind of tough. But hang in there. It really is okay. If you ever want to chat, just send me a message. :) Good luck.
2006-07-31 02:42:53 · answer #4 · answered by Veronica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice: don't. Not until you can live exclusively on your own. If you haven't already, you might want to point out someone (say, an out actor) and ask what they think about them, being gay. Sometimes a person will make an allowance for someone they know personally or admire even if they are otherwise racist or homophobic. If you're in doubt, though, wait. Read up on it, pro and con, so you're ready with rebuttals to any arguments if they do find out.
2006-07-30 22:33:45 · answer #5 · answered by lucy_ritter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you're still living with the 'rents, you might want to wait. Mine had no clue, just assumed the other. Then again, I didn't know till I was in my 20s.
Another good resource is PFLAG. It's a group for Parents of Lesbians and Gays.
2006-07-30 21:47:52 · answer #6 · answered by j_cragen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with goldwing1100 - telling them now when you are totally dependent on them isn't your best option. Hang in there a little while longer. Expect the best but prepare for the worst. Since they have expressed anti gay comments already, you probably won't get a warm welcome. So.... get in touch with the local gay hotline, any gay orgs in your area. Ask for a teen group. Call/email
PFLAG- parents /family/friends of lesbians & gays- they will be there to help you go thru tyour journey as well as support your family when it's time for you to come out. Good luck. Check out planetout (com) for message boards also. My best.
2006-08-05 04:23:57 · answer #7 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your folks and you.
Are they fundamentalist freakos? Definitely hold off telling them until you are of legal age or on your own. You could find your self in a institution to make you straight.
In general I'd wait until you are at least 18 as minimum. Ideally you would be on your own and paying your own bills - say after college if that is what you are going to do. If you are on their dime and under their roof they can tell you what to do if they don't agree with how you are.
Good luck.
2006-07-30 23:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're parents are not accepting of this, I think you are too young to tell them. You are too young to have serious sexual relationships with anyone, so I'm not sure that you are even sure of your sexuality. If they were going to be cool with it, I would say that they might be helpful in the process, but if its going to be a major battle with them, I'd say wait until you are old enough to stand your own ground with them.
In the meantime, if you have to do something about it, there are tons of resources available online. Start with the coming out pages at the Human Rights Campaign
2006-07-30 21:42:46 · answer #9 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if they dont approve of homosexuality i WOULDNT tell them until your on your own and when you feel ready to do so a lot of my female friends told their parents early and their parent disowned them which i think was wrong but every family is different if they accept everything else you do theyll accept you the way you are
2006-08-05 19:19:39 · answer #10 · answered by L3ZBiiAN SW33TZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋