I'm cheating on my husband, and he things were friends.?

Question

I been married for 7 years and at the beginning it was great. then all of a sudden he bacame verbaly abusive and aggressive. 2 years ago i found out he tried to cheat on me with some girl who was way younger and very trashy. I recently moved to CT from NYC and i met this guy who i worked with and we became friends i told him i was married and that i have 3 kids. i also told him how abusive my husband has gotten with me, and the more we talked the more we where connecting and for the past year and 3 months we been together and i dont know what to do? should work my marriage out or stay with my other significant?

Answer 1

If your husband is abusive he will always be abusive. THEY DON'T CHANGE!!!! As for your friend you need time for you and your 3 children before you jump into another relationship. I pray he was not abusive to the children if so they are going to need some counseling. I know, I've been there where you are now, and my father was abusive to my mother and there were 5 kids at home he abused. I got help, and am still getting help, It's really hard to get over. Good Luck Pray it will help you make the right decision.

Answer 2

Only you can answer that question. First and foremost, you have to make sure that if you leave your husband that it is for you and not because of your relationship with this other dude. Actually, just the fact that you have met and grown attached to some one else would be symbolic enough to tell you which direction that you should be leaning towards. Secondly, you have to make sure that you are financially capable of doing without your husbands support, at least until you all can iron out the kinks as far as spousal support is concerned, and lastly you have to consider your children. Make a list of the pros and cons. Not trying to sound contradictory, but you have to make a choice whether you will stay and put up with he abuse or leave now while you are ahead...never know when the verbal abuse will turn into something more violent. Like I said previously, consider your options. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

First things first is being in a abusive relationship is not good. Also cheating is not the answer. I would say follow your heart this new guy looks really good because your husband looks really bad right now. If you decide to stay with the husband i would have him and may be even yourself seek counceling perhaps he can overecome the abusiveness. If however you want to be with the other guy be honest with your husband and tell him the truth. Good luck to you I hope you figure it all out.

Answer 4

Have you tried having a heart-to-heart talk about the way you feel with him? and if he is the type to get disrepectful when you need to express your feelings, did you try a mediated talk with him about things? On the other hand, it isn't ok to be in an abusive relationship. I have been in and many women in my family have been in these relationships/marriages and they were always sad, depressed or hoping for a better day. Go with your heart....only you know what you can deal with, what should change and when. You should be treated like a lady, not a door mat. You have children so its a little more complicated but you have to figure out whats best for you and your babies. i wish you luck on your situation and hope you find a resolution...

Answer 5

You needed to fix your marriage before breaking your vows which is awful. Would it have been ok if he did it to you if you were like him? Probably not. You should get out of your relationship if you are no longer in love and do not see a future. Don't wait for your other guy. Anyone who would get a married woman in bed who has three kids doesn't give a sh-t about a future with you. If your husband finds out he can take your kids. Stop thinking about yourself and think of your children. Grow up.

Answer 6

Well if this other man wants a long term relationship with you then I would work on that and leave that abusive man,
Cheating is not right,but sometimes a person needs a outlet with other people when a relationship is so abusive.
I would try to leave the abusive man a.s.a.p. because if he finds out he might get very violent.

Answer 7

I would say it is about 2 years to late to work on your marriage. You should have put your foot down when it started to happen
but don't jump for the first person you met and can talk to. You basically told him you have been a door mat for 2 years so he may just be as bad 5 years down the road. You need to work on yourself and regain some respect for yourself thru you not others

Answer 8

You should seek a professional counselor and begin to work on your personal issues - as you are not doing anyone, including yourself, any favors -you're just moving around emotional baggage that really needs unpacked and then you'll have a clear mindset to make clear and healthy decisions. Good luck. I've been where you are and wish I had followed the advice I have given you - might have saved me a whole lot of grief and heartache and especially for my son.

Answer 9

I was in the same position. When your husband is verbally abusive it most likely always leads to physical abuse. Honey, the man you are with right now accepts you for who you are and that is a wonderful thing. You are worthy of love and respect and your husband obviously isn't doing either. My suggestion is GET A DIVORCE before it is too late.

Answer 10

Now you know! You should have dropped that pathetic excuse for a man that you call husband 5 1/2 years ago. (when you first knew he was cheating.) But you ain't no different, you passing out freebies like beta max movies.

You know that man ain't gone do nothing for 3 damn kids!

Keep your low life husband and continue getting your freak on!