What do I do? My mother-in-law is so obnoxious and expects me to read her mind.?

Question

Like if I dont ask her if she is cold and would like a blanket she lets me know later on that is was rude. Or if she buys me something and it it gets broken she acts as though I didnt care about it. She isnt nuts she is just such a handful!

I think part of her problem is she is very religous and I am not and she is from the midwest and I am from the east. I swear if I was from her town I feel she would treat me better!

Answer 1

Oh Boy that sucks.
In my life I like to do things that I call "stress Prevention"

When she first comes over say something that will cover anything she might want or need. "Would you like anyghing to eat or drink? Are you warm enough? Are you comfortable? Is the TV loud enough for you? Just let me konw if there is any thing I can do or get for you, ok?"

or when she gets there tell her........"please totally make yourself at home, me casa is su casa"

Another thing to do is when she gets there see that she sets by an end table. Make sure she has something to snack on, a drink, and put a blanket by here and say "here mom ( or whatever you call here) just in case you get cold. "

It sounds like no matter what you do, she will find something to fuss about. You can either spend years tearing your hair out over her. Or you can get yourself in a zen like state of mind when she is around and let every thing she say or dones roll off your back..

She is trying to find a way for you to NOT like her because her son married you. Don't give her reasons to not like you.

In the long run in life we make a choice to be happy or get back at those who are like your mother in law. Don't spend too much time and energy on it......she will suck the life outta you.

Answer 2

lily you didnt say whether or not you and your husband live with her or she lives with you or if she just visits. the only thing i can think of that would fit most every one of the diffrent sitiuations is that your husband and you are united and should always be a united front against anyone including your mother in law, your husband should be there with you and handle the onslaught of what you feel is an attack he needs to be the buffer till your mother in law understands that any time she attacks you she attacks him and you need to be there and stand your ground when she attacks him as well. this is somthing that should always be practiced with every one ( united front) in the even that you do deserve to be yelled at your husband should be there with you and try and offset the arguement and behind closed doors he should let you know why he feels your wrong. your marriage is suppose to be one and if she attacks either of you then you have each others back..... we all know she wont openly admit to any wrong doing so make no accusations, but a conversation between the three of you stating that you and him are one and will act that way. and that should not only stengthen your hand as a dominate power but also show maturity. just for giggles though buy that movie monster inlaw wrap it up nice and pretty put it in a big pretty bag and leave it out for her she will think your trying to buy her off and will open it up and youll have a small laugh behind closed doors..... good luck in laws are too fun if you know how to gain control and manipulate their bad behaviorse against them and do it the sweet way....

Answer 3

Try to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with her and let her know that you love her because she is your husband's mother. But remind her that you are married to her son, not her.

She's who she is. Hopefully, she doesn't interfer in your marriage. If she does, include that in your talk and let her know under no uncertain terms will you not tolerate it. It could be the religion thing or it just might be her personality.

But whatever, try to take her as she is and try working it out with her. Mother-in-laws can be difficult people but you can also develop a strong relationship with her. You just have to figure out how. But whatever you do, if children are involved, don't use them by keeping them from her. It's your problem with her, not the kids. They have every right to have a relationship with their father's mother.

Good Luck. It will work itself out. It just might take time and a lot of strength and "tongue biting" from you.

Answer 4

She is doing it on purpose. You can't win with her just relax and don't let her get to you. You need to just tell her that she should make herself at home and that she knows where the blankets are. Don't worry about breaking stuff or any other trivial matter because she will find something no matter if everything is perfect.
It may just take time. But don't let her push you around In your own home.

Answer 5

She is just crazy thats all. Hope you learn some ways to deal without going nuts. Good luck and try to let it go and not take it to heart and too personal

Answer 6

Personally when me mother in law bugs me I just smile and complain to my husband later :) If she did something that actually was out of line and hurt my feelings he will stick up for me.

Answer 7

dont speak to her, dont visit her, dont even acknowledge she is alive. i did this for over a year and she soon became a little more polite. mind you not seeing any of her grandchildren also might have helped. some of them just think that no one is good enough for their son or daughter

Answer 8

Stop visiting her.
Say NO when she gets rude!
Do not answer her when she is abusive.
You did not marry the mother-in-law, you married the husband/wife.

Answer 9

she's obviously upset that you took her son away from her and you're the #1 woman in his life now. trust me, i know a thing or two about mother-in-laws!!

Answer 10

just try to be polite and neutral- this is someone youll have to deal with till shes dead or out of your house- if nothing else tell her how u feel.