Like tonight in just a little while my son has to call me to discuss taking a bath. He's 8 and decided it's more fun to run water and splash himself than getting into the tub and getting clean. She and I have had this half an hour discussion about the bathing, and, this is after spending his summertime visit with me where I thought the problem was fixed, but I think it is more a defiance issue. We never talked more than a few minutes on the phone until he was five. Now we talk all the time like good old friends. I thinks it's freaky. Is it normal after so many hateful things have been said in the past?
2006-07-30 14:13:59 · 37 answers · asked by obitdude2 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Too many good answers got to get it voted!
2006-08-01 14:35:12 · update #1
It can happen. My best friend is my ex-fiancee, and I could not imagine my life without her as a friend. What it can mean is that you too were good as friends, but not good as husband and wife. Nothing wrong with that. Just accept her as a friend with a special significance and be happy that it isn't painful and ugly!
2006-07-30 14:16:36 · answer #1 · answered by merigold00 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced for 10 years. The boys were 6, 4 and 2 at the time it happened. Neither of us has re married but have had relationships and never stopped talking about our kids. Forget the hateful things said to each other about your relationship.
As the boys get older (16,14 and 12) and things happen in their lives we ALL talk more! I think it is WONDERFUL to have a good relationship with the ex when Children are involved. It may seem freaky but it is the best thing for your Child and/or Children!
2006-07-30 14:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by LN has3 zjc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. If your relationship with your ex is good and getting better, why are you even questioning that? Just let yourself enjoy the good vibes. Most important of all, your son is the big beneficiary. So look on the positive side and be a glass-half-full type person. There's enough negative stuff in life without looking for it.
2006-07-30 14:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great for the kid(s) that you guys get along at last. Now don't you go thinking anything goofy though. I know what you're thinking, I do. Stop it! Continue the conversations as they naturally come up but don't force them. Let's just see where this goes. DO NOT jump back in unless you guys have done some serious work and are sure things are different now. Let time answer this one for you!
2006-07-30 14:19:55 · answer #4 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's actually very healthy - and it's quite normal - it means that you've reached the point where you accept that you can't live together, but that doesn't mean you have to hate each other - if more people would realize this process and get over the "hate" instead of carrying it around for the rest of their lives, a lot of children would find that they are emotionally more stable because their parents have chosen to be more stable and adult instead of continually petty. Kudos to you both!
2006-07-30 14:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by dph_40 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. The everyday pressures of a relationship caused you to give up on each other.
The easy way out.
Now that those pressures are gone you're back to appreciating one another for those reasons you got together in the first place.
I think it's a great thing especially since you have a son together. There is no need for him to see that negativity as it will affect him now and he is likely to remember those things at his age.
Enjoy it.
2006-07-30 14:17:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya see, now you don't have to live together with each others habits and things that annoy you. There is no pressures or expectations. Just two people who share the same little boy and that's all you probably have in common. Be glad that you can be so civil. Most people don't have it so good.
2006-07-30 14:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by JENNLUPE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you don't live together anymore so my guess is that right there would be the big difference, all the little things that probably got on your nerves from living together and drove you nuts etc....that and that you have a child together as well, time also heals old wounds and hurt feelings etc...so good for you for being able to still talk and be friends! :)
2006-07-30 14:18:02 · answer #8 · answered by zeekandthefam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you and your ex are getting along. Maybe the two of you just realized that, even though you're not still together, that you have to be civil for the well-being of your son. And, being nice to his mother will only make him love you more. Keep it up.
It sounds like you're on the right track to making things right for him, Remember, it's selfish for the two of you to argue about anything at this point. That will only hurt your little boy more. Divorce hurts children the most, and you're helping your son so much by getting along with his mom. Maybe the two of you could try getting re-married, since you have a child already.
You really aren't going to find another woman who's going to love your son like his mother, even if she says she loves him like he's her own. It's a crock. Another woman will love you, and maybe like your son. But maybe now that you and your ex are getting along, you could try to reconcile for his sake. I hope things work out for you, and keep doing what you're doing to make him happy. It sounds like you're both good people, and it's just sad to me when marriages break up when it seems like the couple could have worked it out somehow. It sounds to me like you still can if you both continue to keep things on a friendly level.
2006-07-31 09:15:25 · answer #9 · answered by .......... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you get older, you get wiser, you become more mature, ...you heard the story before.
What they didn't tell you was that, you are less active sexually. So why don't you invite her over?
Com' on, A man with a good memory span and a woman with a starched up back, is the only thing that can make you forget you are enemies in the first place.........Uhm
2006-07-30 14:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are not good together BUT are good together. What I mean is your NOT good together as in living together. BUT you are good together as in working problems out as in being a good team as in parenting. YOU BOTH want what is good or best for your kid so you'll work with her on any problems that may come up. In a lot of ways this is soo good of a thing to happen.
2006-07-30 14:18:55 · answer #11 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋