I am leaving my hubby b/c I don't trust him anymore and I have come to the conclusion that I never will. It has just been too much over the last 5 years. He is very angry now with me for leaving and says I haven't tried but I almost left 4 months ago but he begged me to stay but my feelings of disgust and hurt have not changed. I have lost so much of my dignity through it all and now he is trying to make me feel guilty for not trying "just one more time." How many chances do you give? I don't feel anything for him anymore. Am I so bad for not wanting to go to counseling AGAIN and working it out because everytime we work it out it always falls apart in a short amount of time?
2006-07-30 14:12:36 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds familiar. There is only so much you can take. If you don't trust your husband then there is no marriage. When there is no trust you tend to drift apart and end up fighting constantly. You deserve love and trust. Keep up with your faith and God will guide you through. It may be tough but keep your wits. Good luck and I hope things get better. BE STRONG!
2006-07-30 14:17:29 · answer #1 · answered by trace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your not wrong, somtimes the trust is the only thing a person has they cling to. i would expect that a man that was truly sorry, would be more mad at himself then to blame you, but his being mad at you is a way to try and place guilt and make you feel bad for what he did (control issues) you need to stick to your guns. i am one that says marriages are forever and all avenues must be tried before you devide a union of marriage, allthough right now you have the control and control makes a person stronger i think eventualy youll be one the very remorsfull end of ending it. so with that can i make a suggestion that you and he do split while you have the strength and live apart but date him. by dating him you two can decide if their is somthing there still but for this to work you have to cut off intamacy for a set period of time so as not to give him the free milk and the cow. youll find out with out making a big mistake on whether or not the love you have for him is hiding and can be rekindled. and over a period of time you can watch him to see if he really loves you enough to go with out sex with you and anyone else to prove his love.... he needs to know for him to even stand a chance with you again he cant date anyone or be put in a situation that looks like he is dating anyone. this should be his one more time and you two go as slow as you want and you get to dictate to speed. in the event you dont love him he is out already and the divorce can be done quicker.i wish you the best of luck as i know ending a marriage is always hard and heart breaking. hold your head up and do what is right always and you can be proud
2006-07-30 21:29:00 · answer #2 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first marriage lasted 7 years of exactly what you are going through. We had two kids and every day he lied and when i caught him in that lie he would blame me yell at me and get emotionally and verbally abusive, He was even pushy and physical may times (not to mention personal things I would not divulge on this forum or even to my mother). I tried. I Tried for the kids and I tried for him hoping he would seek real help. I even had him going to church,but alas he lied there as well. In the end I kicked him out. My life has only gotten better and better and now I am married to a man who is honest and I can trust. He adopted the kids and raises them like a real father should. You cannot just put your life on hold waiting for him to get better, take it from me he never will.
2006-07-30 21:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by JENNLUPE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello I am really sorry to hear that your marriage is not working but sadly this does happen to couples I am sure you tried your best but if you don't trust him threes not much more eather one of you can do I have to be honest and tell you I have never been married so maybe i am not the best person to answer you.
the best thing you can do is talk with your kids and ex plane if you can that even though there mom and dad cant live together anymore is that they will always be loved by both of you no matter what happens I wish you and your kids all the best. take care
honest eyes
2006-07-30 21:32:30 · answer #4 · answered by honesteyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should focus on you right now. Don't let him make you feel guilty. Go into counseling to deal with your hurt and pain.
If you feel different after that then fine, try again. But he needs to back off and let you get your head together.
2006-07-30 21:17:28 · answer #5 · answered by Calina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated, I thought I wanted to stay around and work it out, realized he still wanted her on the side, and left. If you can't trust, there's nothing to fix it. BTW, it's been five years I'm with my current partner and everything is much better than it was.
If he don't respect the decision you've made, then he don't respect you and it won't work out.
2006-07-30 21:29:15 · answer #6 · answered by j_cragen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
life is tooooooooooo short to live with someone you don't love!! years ago I would have said to stick it out but I've seen to many people die young and most of their life was a unhappy one. So don't stay with someone you don't love. I don't know if you have kids(you did not say) but don't stay for the kids sake because your kids my grow up thinking that is what a marriage is like. and its not!! if you don't have love or trust-get out now!!
2006-07-30 21:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by esmiller5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant make your heart feel something for someone that it wont you are oviously sinking in this relationship and you cant have one without trust why stay an be miserable he havent done what he needed to do to make you want to stay so go you find happiness and later when he's figured out what he did wrong in this relationship he wont make the same mistake with someone new.
2006-07-30 21:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your wrong. If this is the way you feel than it is the way you feel. You need to make a decision that you can live with.... if some where down the line you feel like you may want him back... what will you do then?!
2006-07-30 21:22:26 · answer #9 · answered by missgoodgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to do what is best for you and what your heart tells you too. i am going throught the same thing right now and i know what you are going through. He still keeps saying that he wants to try but like you said how many times do we have to try????
2006-07-30 21:17:49 · answer #10 · answered by dede 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋