I am crazy about my wife but she lies?

Question

I dont know what to do . My wife has e-mailed this guy all the time and has said that she didnt want to go on the rest of her life wondering how her life would be if she was with him. She said that she new she was wrong and her heart kept making her write to him. I am crazy about her. I told her about it and she said that it was old and that she stopped. She said stuff on those e-mails that really hurt me. She is in Iraq and she said that it was just flirting. The person that she is e mailing has a wife and a kid. We all are in the army. I am on my way to iraq like my wife. I will think about this all the time over there. I think I will go crazy and I am so in love. She said she is sorry and she know that no matter what she says it will always be on my mind and she dont know what to say. But she said she never acted out none of her e mails. She never had sex with him. I dont know what to do. I have never cheated ob her and I would give her the world. Anthing she wanted

Answer 1

aww you are so sweet!!! i think you should wait until you see each other face to face to talk. i'm sure that she loves you and maybe she is just confused. but if see her and she tells u that she wants that other person then let her go, there are many fish in the sea and you are a sweet guy and you will find someone who will love you and only you. good luck

Answer 2

Wow, im very sorry that your wife has put u through all of this, unfortunately from what u say, it sounds as if u were a "doormat" which there is NOTHING wrong with that if with the right person, unfortunately most people like your wife , take advantage of someone that is so good to her, instead of appreciating it....i realize the timing is horrible for you and her, Iraq , and all.. but i think u both need to either work as hard as u can to repair ur marriage before anymore damage is done, or unfortunately let it go.. BUT I PROMISE U.. if she is stupid enough to let go of a man that treats her as good as u say, She will regret it eventually.. that i promise.. my mom did something similar to my father, and it took 24 years to get her to finally admit that the biggest mistake she ever made was leaving such a good man like my father, Good men are so hard to find.. she really doesnt deserve u.. i hope she wises up and treats u with the respect u deserve.. Good luck.. and be safe in Iraq..

Answer 3

Your wife is a very lucky woman to have such a loving and understanding husband. The only thing you can do in a situation like this is tell her how you feel and trust what she says. She should know better than to be engaging in inappropriate conversation with another married man, let alone another serviceman.
If you feel very uncomfortable or think she may take it to another level (sex) you do have the right to talk to this guy. After all, she is your wife and this is your marriage and your future that you are talking about, you do have a right to protect it. This guy should also know better than to be flirting or messing around with a married woman.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry to hear that you are hurting. Your wife is the lucky one here, because it sounds like you are really good to her.

I think that you need to allow yourself to be angry...right now you are hurting. You have a right to be angry that she has been doing this and seems to think that what she said in the email was "just flirting." The only thing you can do is choose to trust.....and she needs to realize and respect that it will take you some time to trust again.

Good luck on your relationship and good luck to both of you in Iraq.

Answer 5

I see... It seems like you have a really hard life. There's this quote, "What's your's, is your's, what's not your's, no matter how hard you try, it will never be your's." Does your wife love you too? If she does, I suppose you will still have a chance, but if she's the type who sees one and loves, one, I suggest you that you should give up. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but you shouldn't waste your time over her if she really doesn't want you.

Answer 6

Maybe that is the problem you have allowed her to much room in your marriage. Make it clear to her that a wife doesn't email some married or single guy just because her heart says so. That is totally wrong and now with you going there also I hope you can put some of this to rest. If it is meant to be it will, so take care of yourself.

Answer 7

ok hon, you deserve better, way better. yeah, you may love her, but you know what, i loved my husband with all my heart, and i still do, even after he cheated on me on his way back to iraq from r and r, but you know what, i refuse to be treated like that. you have to decide what you will and will not allow her to do to you, if you really believe her and feel that you can ever trust her again, and if this is something that can be put behind you without resentment. and i think that it doesn't matter if she acted out any of her emails. she may have if she was just given the chance. don't you think you deserve a woman who loves, cares, and cherishes you just as much as you do her?

Answer 8

you just said what your problem really is..... " you would give her the world,anything she wanted" even your pride even your marriage???? like it or not even if she didnt have sex with another man, its still cheating and you need to address this as if she was cheating but you know as well as anyone she would go nuts if you talked to another woman like this and im guessing she wouldnt have a problem idetifying it as cheating. you need to break from the idea you would do anything and stand up and say when enough is enough, make her save her marriage or walk away from it, you have an important job to do over there and dont need to be waylaid and overcome with pain of what she is doing ... i wish you the best of luck coming to a resolve, dont try and fight the facts as to make this situation anything diffrent stay true to your convictions and loose the weekling attempt to be the one proving you love her all it does is allow her to use it to her advantage and you look like a crybaby in her eyes....... good luck dude

Answer 9

Many women are looking for something that makes them feel special. Although you may love her dearly it is possible that she has such low self-esteem that she doesn't believe you. This other person is making her feel special that he would take time from his family to write to her. He has no respect for her or his family. This may be a problem that you cannot fix. If that is the case it would be better for your psychological and emotional to release that which pains you. She will undoubtly realize her mistake and beg for forgiveness. Be strong and trust your instincts.

Answer 10

Its not easy for us to forgive and trust the person again after being unfaithfull to us. As you so much in love with her, I'm sure you able to truly forgive her and forget all her wrong doing in the past. But if she do it again, then you have to think twice to forgive her or not.