My husband keeps telling me he is not happy with me because he is not getting enough sex. I am very depressed. My anorexia/bulimia have returned and I feel tired all the time. My baby will be 11 months old in a week and I feel guilty because we lost our health insurance March 31st and he needs to get more shots. I did apply for New Jersey Family HealthCare and I keep calling and sending papers. Social worker says it should come through soon for just the baby, not for us. My mom had a stroke and my dad has altzheimers and I have to keep going there to help. Brothers say they will help but don't. Husband has no work with his union and is doing side-jobs. We are behind on our rent and landlord sold house and new owner raising it a few hundred dollars. Phone may go off soon which would end the computer. My older son is drinking and nasty to me. Husband wants more romance and for me to initiate but I am not feeling it. Why can't he see that I am dying on the inside?
2006-07-30 12:43:37 · 10 answers · asked by New York Mama 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you spiritually grounded in any way. If not I would suggest going to church. Prayer is healing & help & this would definately be a good start. Don't kill yourself trying to be superwoman. Put these issues in the Lord's hands & let them go. If you can't do anything about them then you can't consume yourself with worries & stress because you have children that depend on you to be around. It sounds easier than it looks but eventually things will get better.
I'm sorry to hear about the family stress & other issues. Sounds like you need some counseling. There are different local progams in most areas & may want to check w/ local non profit agencies for diffrent assistance programs or seminars that may help you deal with your stress.
Is he helping you with any of these issues or removing himself from the situations until he wants sex? If you haven't already, explain the stress to your husband. Let him know that although things are hard right now that you DO love him & want to have some more intimate time w/ him, but that you need him to be more supportive regarding the issues that are going on right now.
Do the same w/ you brothers & son...The family really needs to pull together & help out because honey, you just can't do it alone.
I send my prayers out to you and your family through these times and remember that you are not alone out there.
2006-07-30 13:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by NicNac 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pray and Pray harder !! You have a tremendous amount of stress on you and your husband should be a little more
understanding, I'm quite sure sex is the last thing on your mind, he could try giving you a hug or lend you a shoulder to cry on when you are this stressed. Don't let
anorexia/bulimia get the best of you, you have an 11 month old baby to think about. Most counties in all states have a free clinic for you to get your baby the shots. It
sounds like you have alot on your shoulders, if your husband can't understand that, maybe you need a new husband. Best of Luck!!!!!!
2006-07-30 13:30:42 · answer #2 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ain't love grand! I think all those people that have should I get married questions should read this! Tell him that maybe you will be horny again once your life doesn't suck so bad until then tell him to deal with it and get a real job, then you wouldn't have to worry so much and he might get some. There should be more options around for a childs shots than just that, call local family practice centers they can direct you to some help also. As far as your parents go get a hold of your brothers tell them your life is **** right now and you simply can not handle the added pressure of caring for your parents so they HAVE to get off their butts and do it because you won't. They haven't yet because they know you will.
2006-07-30 12:53:14 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you gotta start feeling better about yourself. get ways of getting in touch with your feelings on how you want things done. sum say that a marriage is working out the differences... how can you if one is forceful?
There's many different ways of handling meds for the baby. social workers are not always the best answer for help. check with other agencies, state, local, and non-profit. start showing your bros what's wrong with the parents. they've forgotten what's important. tell them how they will DIE w/o their help.
Hubb has to get off his arss and get a job. Union work is almost always easy to pick up. You being this close to the recent birth of your son deals with many mental issues. I'm not sayin your crazy, but it's been shown that a lot of post pardom depression effects mothers after the birth, the time frame ranges differently for each mom. If you feel sexy enough for sex, then start it yourself with him, but control it at that time. Make yourself enjoy it, he's a guy, he'll enjoy it....Trust me!
2006-07-30 13:23:16 · answer #4 · answered by Alex P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to have a sit down! If you are afraid to have a conversation with him on your own, explain to one of your non helping family members, that all they have to do is sit in and keep you both company or they can be in another room. Express how you feel to your husband. Be calm but firm in saying that you both have to be united, and do something to overcome your problems. While you still have a computor, do research on organizations that can help you.. They are out there! Waiting just for people like you.. Last but not least you can't do your family any good if you are not taking care of yourself! Take care of you so you can care for them!! Take care and good luck...
2006-07-30 13:06:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband needs a talkin to..... he does not understand it or is trying to ignore the problems an delve into an escape... romance an sex.. maybe u two could find something to do, thats fun an will take your minds off the stress... find time in the day just to talk.. non stress. dont mention anything problematic. just small talk. i am not an expert on it but maybe it will help!
hope all goes well for you....
2006-07-30 12:53:33 · answer #6 · answered by Aaliyah Morales 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
am not much worried about your husband but worried about your health first, then your baby, son and more importantly your parents.
list the kind of things to deal with first and then tackle it one after the other. for me, the first thing to do is your baby.
forget about your elder son's behavour, he will change on his own. ask friends and a few relaible relatives to help you with a loan and then hire someone to take care of your mom.
by so doing you will get enough rest for your self and the baby.
2006-07-30 13:04:20 · answer #7 · answered by gladys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ifur low income then u could qualify for lots of things especialy shots.go to ur local welfare office and investigate. their is no shame in it cause ur doing it for ur family. let them help u out for awhile till ur family gets stable again.also go to the city hall and see if they have a program called"section 8 " or "Houseing and neighborhood development" they can help u pay your rent. I am on it and the city i live in helps me out .
2006-07-30 13:20:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could give advice in many areas you just mentioned but give him what it wants trust me it will help your stress level too. Good Luck;-)
2006-07-30 12:48:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
holy crap and i thought i had problems. sorry
2006-07-30 18:16:36 · answer #10 · answered by RAILMAN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋