It seems like I am the one that is always initiating sex, and when I do-he often doesn't want to. I have left it up to him to initiate it but I have had to wait up to four days! He has always been that way, even when we were dating, we have been married for two years. Could this be because I am overweight? He is also overweight.
2006-07-30 11:47:57 · 20 answers · asked by Mandie S. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to sxybrowneyes...whatever your name is: Just because some chicks like to have sex once a month doesn't mean we are all like that. I happen to take pride in my healthy sex drive and it is not my problem that some women are dry in that department!
2006-07-30 12:54:33 · update #1
Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart.
QTI
2006-07-30 11:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by qti36 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No honey, it's not the weight. He certainly can't rightfully judge you on that if he is overweight too.
Let me tell you what! My husband and I have gone through that a lot in our marriage. Only, if I wait for him to initiate it, I can be waiting anywhere from one week to two, lol. What I have found is that it is "just" the difference in sex drives and in my case the fact that he works so hard and is so tired all of the time.
If you really want him to initiate it, then it is well worth the wait in my opinion. I have purposefully waited before, just so that I can have the satisfaction of him initiating it now and then. By the way, I am a big girl, and I don't think that has anything to do with it....it's just the difference in sex drives. Just my two cents. Hope that helps...and good luck to you!
2006-07-30 19:51:56 · answer #2 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not want sex as often as you do, but that is okay. It doesn't always mean something else negative. Some men actually don't want to feel like that is the basis of the relationship.
Open up your mind to finding other romantic or intimate things to do with him that don't necessarily lead to sex. Try massages after a hard day at work or run him a bath and wash him yourself. This actually could help spark the mood :0) Have fun!
2006-07-30 19:00:37 · answer #3 · answered by NicNac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay there has to be a reason for this. Your husband might need to see a doctor or you both need to seek some help here.
He is a man. Well males would screw a knot hole in a tree if weren't for the possibility of squirrels being in there. Most likely some males have done a tree or two.
Males sex drive is 24 - 7. You need to find out what the real problem is here. Medical or ?????
2006-07-30 19:06:17 · answer #4 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took me 32 years to figure out that things were never going to change and yes, I thought it was because I was unattractive and overweight. Do not let this get worse over the years. Get some counseling now! If he won't go, get some help yourself and do things that will give you your self confidence back. I didn't lose weight till I was 50 and then I had a ton of guys after me, but I had lost all my young years. Make sure you don't waste all that time.
2006-07-30 18:57:39 · answer #5 · answered by art_tchr_phx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could have something to do with your weight, but most likely it is stress/life related. Something that could cure all of those problems would be to go for an after dinner walk 3 times a week. It doesn't have to be long or fast, but it is a great time to reconnect and beat stress. Plus, you are sweaty and full of hormones (ie horny) when you come back. It may take a few weeks, but it should work.
2006-07-30 18:55:36 · answer #6 · answered by emp04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a vibrator and take care of yourself. Four days OMG, LOL, if you get that hyper over four days without sex maybe you have an issue yourself. He just has a low sex drive, probably because he is overweight and its too much like work.
2006-07-30 18:55:43 · answer #7 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen here, i am a man who maybe in the same boat. Except i get it at least once a week. But anyways, i was bored with the same routine on our sex. So i convinced my wife to go out and get a vibrator, and oh my gosh, we have so much fun now, we try new things and positions. It really has spiced up our sex life. So go out and buy a toy, it really does help, because now, we have sex at least 2 times a week now. I wish you luck on this.
2006-07-30 20:43:52 · answer #8 · answered by GOT FAITH? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get a good answer, let me know, we have a similar problem here!
The overweight thing is hard to answer. It depends on his feelings, ask him to let you know honestly.
Believe it or not some guys do not have the desire to have sex all the time, it could really be hormonal! Have his testostrone checked!
2006-07-30 18:54:00 · answer #9 · answered by OKA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More likely it has to do with self esteem issues from him. He could also be depressed. Try both of you working out the endorphins get to flowing after a good workout which in terms makes you feel better about everything.
2006-07-30 18:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by newgenre1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur complaining because u may have to wait 4 days for him to initiate sex?????????? LMAO consider urself lucky he does it at all , or does it only after 4 days lol.. sorry here i thought u were going to say u have to wait weeks or months.. lol 4 days??????? Where are the violins when u need them lol.. talk to me when it goes weeks and or months.. lol
2006-07-30 19:50:59 · answer #11 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋