When the honeymoon period is over....?

Question

We were so in love......then, stealthily....it seemed to turn into hate.......has this happened to you? What are your thoughts?

"The honeymoon period" is a well known concept.....I am seeking non-judgemental ideas.

Interested to know if you have experienced this and got past it.

If you don't know that love is close to hate, at least potentially, you have never fully loved.

Answer 1

It hasn't quite happened to me in this way, but I know what you mean. It isn't hate though, is it? It's more a state of exasperation. It is brought on by behaviour in the other which feaks us out. There is nothing that can be done to change their behaviour, but you can try to get behind why they do it, and lose that aversion through understanding of their ways. Often, people who are strongly attracted to one another because something about the other seems so familiar also go the other way. The reason for this is that we recognize patterns in the other we remember from our own childhood, and they are usually both good and bad patterns. So, you may have falln for him because something about him reminds you subconsciously of people you were close to during your childhood, but since these people also had bad sides, you will find these in him, too, and possibly even exactly like they were in that person from your childhood. My wife reminds me enormously of my grandmother's personality, both in the good and in the bad. This used to freak me out, because I did not get on well with my grandma. Now I see it as a chance to get it right and understand not only my wife, but also my grandma. Life is a constant parade of chances to put things right that have long been wrong. Don't miss this one.

Answer 2

Phew they say its a fine line between love and hate and I think you crossed yours, if things ain't working out then get out and do it now before you end up bitter.
Don't know how long the honeymoon period is supposed to last but ours is still in its early stages and were still enjoying our honeymoon after 22 years of marriage.

Answer 3

i part agree with you but i think hates a strong word i think it's more annoyance at what someone does or doesn't do. i still love my husband and he never used to annoy me but he does now it's not natural to get along for ever where all different and that will show after the honeymoon period

Answer 4

the honeymoon period is over in my marriage and to add to that we are in the process of moving (always stressful) and he is due to go back to basra soon (he is in the army)
But we have talked!
All those little annoying things - we have discussed them worked through them and sorted it out. I love my husband very much and when I got married I knew and appreciated that it involved work and would not always be a smooth ride.
In the end it has made our relationship stronger.

Answer 5

The honeymoon is over as soon as the wedding and honeymoon are over and you return to normal life.

Answer 6

its usually after 3 months. its then when your mind takes a setp back and you might start to notice bad habits,like they pick their nose! But if you get through that stage, its all gravy baby.

Answer 7

Look love just get in that kitchen and make me dinner plz

Answer 8

...turn into 'hate'....that's a powerful word. If I hated someone, I would not be with that person.

Answer 9

its probably better moving on if u think its turning to hate.............

Answer 10

When he says "Course I'll love you when you're old and fat...........don't I?"