Madonna or Whore ?

Question

As a therapist I have found that men and women both think that on some level there are "good girls" and "bad girls".

Women: Are you a good girl or a bad girl? How does it feel if a man decides which you are?

Men: Do you want to marry a good girl but prefer sex with a bad girl?

Or do you agree that a woman should be a lady until she gets into the bedroom and then become a whore? (Paraphrasing Jerry Hall and others)

Answer 1

interesting question...

It is patriarchy that gives the expectation of women to be pure, good, chaste, virginal etc. through their representation of the Maddona/Virgin Mary.

However, there is also Lilith - she represents the feminine dark side (the part that men subliminally fear). Carl Jung made use of her as prime expression of the anima in men (the suppressed feme within).

Women are neither one or the other, accept us for what we are, not for what you want us to be.

Answer 2

I'm both and not just in the bedroom.

I dont think I'm wrong I'm just being me, i like being me.
Some may say Madonna in public and a whore in the bedroom but that's stupid well to me.

Sometimes im an angel in public but i can also be a devil and in the bedroom im just the same i dont hide what i like or who i am.

When woman want to show the bad girl in them behind closed doors that's OK but its OK to do that in the open, sometimes it can be fun and very interesting.

Personal experience Ive learnt more about people in the open than behind closed doors. And when men or woman meet someone and truly fall in love with them it doesn't matter if there good or bad you just love them.

Answer 3

Madonna is an icon of style and self-expressionalism and her music is just the best quality pop has to offer. Always changing to the mood of the moment and daring to shock us with her different ideas. She should be respected and the ones who label her a whore dont see past the whole sex image. Most men cant see past this and its all because we are driven by sex. Women who label her that may just have old fashion views of how women should behave and most of the older generation think like that also. Madonna is an icon who open doors to us all to express ourselves and how a young ambitious girl can follow her dreams through her own insecurites and truimph and become so success.

I would rather marry a woman who has a personality and is driven by a passion and is not worried by peoples perceptions of her. I admire this and would gladly have a girl like this but you have to remember Madonna perform likes this for her art and its this that makes the difference. Many women try to express themselves similiarly and end up being labelled a whore because they think this is all Madonna stands for not understanding her art and function within society

Answer 4

It's a shame women are still pigeon-holed into these kinds of categories. Women are all things, good & bad, homebodies and party goers, wise and yet naive, generous and selfish...
How come men can "whore" around and be thought of as sexy and women who like sex thought of as whores?
I think the choices should be made on a person's values and heart, not how they do or do not act in the bedroom.

Answer 5

As a therapist you should know better than generalise. I assume that the people you give therapy to have indicated to you that there are either good/bad girlsor whores.
What a load of rubbish. Men prefer a woman with an intellect and an ability to think and act freely.That is far more sexy than a blatant i your face silicone tart. That, lasts for a very short while.
Of course we want a woman who takes care of herself but not a mindless clone.
What authority do you think Jerry Hall hasto make comments like that. She should know better than to influence young followers into believing they shoild act like whores in the bedroom.
How do whores act in the bedroom. The one s I have met in my life were in need of love and affection and a needed to find a man to trust.
What should a man be like in that case/ Should he treat his woman like a whore? Judge her as being good or bad.
How about the men who are strong enough to be comfortable in the company of a smart beautiful woman. Problem there being that men generally are not smart enough themselves. Women in their striving for a partner find themselves in a compromise.
Find out what real men look for in a women. No give me an artistic creative woman everytime. There is always something new to love. Advertised sexiness is never attractive.Subtle underlying sensuality WOW!
http://love-lust-n-life.blogspot.com

Answer 6

I know myself very well, so I do not care what men think about me. Surely, it would hurt me if I heard something bad about myself, but that would reflect back to me what kind of character I have to do with. So in this case, I would have nothing to lose. At the same time, I have learnt that we are the ones who give too much attention to other people's remarks, so it depends on us whether we will give permission to our feelings to revolt. This is the toughest thing to achieve...but it is also very feasible if we really want to. What is there exactly that we have to do in order to reach a point of ever-lasting calmness and apathy to people who attack us?

A man will never know the real 'me'. They see in what ways I respond, they will think that they fully know my character. But they will never feel the experiences I have had in my life. So, we can never judge somebody simply because we cannot see what is hidden in their souls.

What would really outrage me, is if somebody assumed bad things about me, and they think that I must have done the same things like other women have, because they have been in such a sinfull environment and therefore think that we are all the same. And when I say sinfull I mean when people give priority to carnal pleasures and do not care whether they have hurt somebody or not.

I know I have a strong personality, I have fought a lot to develop it and I have reached a point where I feel powerful and secure and anything else but vulnerable to other people's comments and gossips. It is very easy for them to do it, but very difficult to correct their own selves.

I have so far realised that people have commented good things about me, and if the opposite ever happens I will try to ponder as to why is that. If they are right I will try and correct my mistakes.
If they are wrong, I will challenge them and ask an explanation from them about their opinion.
Women who feel offended, most of the time they feel this way because they have a low opinion of themselves. I think they should ask themselves why. If they are not guilty, they have nothing to worry about. This reminds me the case of a girl I know, who stole a book from a bookshop. The manager saw her in the camera and gave her a warning. She pretended that she had fallen a victim, yet she said: "I will give you this amount of money, just live me alone!" What exactly does that tell you? Would she have said such a thing if she were innocent?

It will never be a man who decides who I am. It will be my own self. Because I know what I have suffered so far, and they will never be inside my own shoes...

Love,

Natalie.

P.S. Keep doing some good work by listening to people!:0)

Answer 7

I hate the fact that I fall into this category. The women I love and respect and wish to share my life with I tend to drift sexually away from.
While women I have little respect for, turn me on physically, but I want nothing to do with them after the act.
It is a complex that has cost me dearly and if there is any advice on steps to take to change my perception I would love to hear it.

Answer 8

A lady in the street and a whore in bed, the perfect Woman !!!

Answer 9

I think I am a bit of both as I couldn't put myself into either category fully. Also if anyone, let alone a man, decided which I was, I couldn't care less because I know who I am and that's what's important.

Answer 10

I honestly prefer to be a good girl. I think that when it's all said and done every guy (deep dow) wants a good faithful girl to be there for them. Unless there just big heels. But Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.