I have been having an affair with one of my employees for a year & we both planned to leave without spouses knowing but my wife found out and is very sad cause I've decided to move on after 16 yrs. Wife says it is humiliating and hurtful for me to hook up before final decree is it wrong or just my wife harrassing me?
2006-07-30 11:33:12 · 15 answers · asked by John D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Funny thing is have not really ever fought or neither of us has left before and our sex life was incredible. I'm sure in time I will feel guilty but I don't want to answer any questions about it. She is very hurt and upset & we both know she cannot continue lifestyle she's used to. Nothing fancy just everyday comfort like paying mortgage and bills. Problem is I'm positive the dtress has caused her job loss. I just decided to move on & think I'm being harrassed with all the questions. Is this selfish, thats what she says. She says her and son lost more than husband/father they lost promises and their future. I am very defensive and can't even be around her. She has begged me not to disrespect her and son by being in public with other woman who also left her husband and 6 kids. Should I just move on & never look back?
2006-08-02 21:08:43 · update #1
Sounds like those are some thoughts and feelings that only you can sort out for yourself. Maybe you need to do a little thinking before your divorce becomes final.
2006-07-30 11:35:43 · answer #1 · answered by Cristalle T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What difference does a piece of paper saying 'it's final' make, if you intend to live with your new lady afterwards anyway? To not do so would be hypocritical and may end up upsetting your new lady too!
Your wife is just worried about what other people will think, and they are not the people living your lives. It sounds to me like your wife just wants to control things whilst she still can. This isn't a sudden fancy of yours to leave a 16 yr old marriage, to do that takes real issues at home and in the marriage - you didn't take the easy way out, which was to continue cheating, you left - so don't beat yourself up.
2006-07-30 11:41:49 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, weren't you already sleeping with her, if she's your mistress? I just don't see what the point is now. Are you going to move in with her, or is it just that people will know what's been going on? You already hurt your wife by doing this, I'd imagine. If you are legally separated, then I don't see this as a big deal anymore. The problem was having an affair in the first place. The cat is already out of the bag. Do you want to make your 'mistress' happy, or your soon to be ex-wife?
2006-07-30 14:54:31 · answer #3 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you stayed with your wife through the affair, then you still probably do love her. My husband and I separated (his choice) for about a month and he had slept with another girl. The problem I had is that it tears you up inside knowing that a man that you are still legally married too is with someone else. It is the worse feeling in the world knowing that while you are at home in your marriage bed, that your husband is out living it up with some woman who has taken my place. It really hurts and i think you should, out of respect for your wife and the 16 years of marriage, wait until the divorce is final.
2006-07-30 11:52:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has your mistress left her husband? If not, it's really wrong to hook up with her before the divorce is final.
As for the rest, everyone is right. You are still married until it is final for you. You should respect her last wishes and wait until the divorce is final before you hook up with the mistress. Your wife is hurting enough, why add to the pain and humiliation?
2006-07-30 12:05:06 · answer #5 · answered by blue eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA! You and his spouse have both been performed because you're both immature like 13 12 months olds. I recommend imagine about it! He has had sex with both one among you for 7 yrs, neither of you'll supply up this "incredible prize" because you both imagine you could p^ssy whip him into being the guy of your objectives.properly it hasn't befell yet and it is been 7 yrs.what percentage better yrs of your lives are you going to flush down the lavatory?His youthful little ones are those who're paying the fee for the mum's stupidity and their father's whore monging techniques. also it isn't that he "can't" substitute, that is that he WONT substitute because he does no longer choose to regulate.he's getting sex from 2 women persons he unearths sexually eye-catching and he can't renounce taking area in both of you.If he develop into somewhat unhappy such as his spouse, he ought to have divorced her some time previous and married you.you're merely his "loose whore on the aspect" hon.no longer intending to be insultingbut it really is ALLyou ever were, are literally and ever will be.If he will cheat on his spouse he made vows with, he will cheat on you besides, you aren't any further the merely sturdy searching lady with a vagina in the international.
2016-11-27 00:11:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very wrong to have affair being marry. You are still marry in the Lord eyes and have an affair is unheard of. You should wait until you are divorce and single. Patience is necessasry for you . You got marry for better or worse and if divorce in in the picture then wait. what is the hurry anyway?
2006-07-30 12:32:02 · answer #7 · answered by babymadison61904 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your decision to have a mistress was what was wrong in the first place. You didn't seem to have any guilt about it when you were doing it, now you are just upset because you got caught. You have been humiliating your wife all this time, why are you worried about this now?
2006-07-30 11:37:56 · answer #8 · answered by art_tchr_phx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the big big BIG mastake was going to the mistress and then the affair.... so i think it is wrong because you should feel bad about what you did, you cheated on your wife and you should wait till the divorce is final..... just think about it, what if she did that to you wouldnt you feel horrible????????? that is something you need to figure out, not sombody that dosent even know you and thats what i have to say, so you figure it out
2006-07-30 11:43:33 · answer #9 · answered by Madtown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard call there but if you guys are divorcing I don't see what the problems is in waiting till its final. It may be she thinks that the two of you might reconcile but if not ask her what her problem is.
2006-07-30 12:02:47 · answer #10 · answered by msraylanda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋