my boyfriend is pessimistic.he loves me and he trys to show me his love but he says that he is always concerned about me andhe always feel insecure .he says that his father has always been pessimistic and he has his effect in his sons life . he doesnt want to be pessimistic .he always wants me to explain him my daily activities and wants me to make him sure that i am not cheating.his behaviour hurts both of us. he asked me to help him but i dont know what I shouddo.what should I do about this?
2006-07-30 11:25:56 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do you love him??? If you love him....work with him. What you need to do is, everyday when you two are together, set down and talk about the days events that happened to each other. It don't matter who goes first, but tell each other everything that happened that day, if you have to..go into detail with it. After awhile the trust will get built up and then you will have a better life with each other.
2006-07-30 11:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if your boyfriend is controlling. I'm not sure I totally believe that because his father was this way, he is too. When people question anothers trust, eventually your relationship will not be based on anything but distrust. This is so unhealthy. By justifying everything you do to him is the same as saying its OK when he questions your every move. You need to let him know this isn't normal I think he needs help. Lots of luck!
2006-07-30 18:45:49 · answer #2 · answered by CTMEDS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure how old you are but that kind of relationship is not a healthy one. If he loves you then he would trust you. In time he may learn to be more trusting of you. But you need to ask yourself if you want to wait it out and go thru that kind of nonsense. Give yourself a bit more credit. You sound like a smart girl.
2006-07-30 18:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try couples counseling. Your boyfriend really needs to trust you (and you him) or you don't have anything together that will last. His father was pessimistic but he has his own brain not his fathers. Suggest that he use his own mind and not his fathers mind.
2006-07-30 18:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is learned behavior that will be virtually impossible to unlearn.
Basically, being surrounded by almost all up-beat people might help,
serious psycho-therapy *MIGHT* help ...
But I sure doubt it.
If you don't agree with his take on life and you find his take disturbing and
you don't think it is likely to change, you should consider YOUR long-term
welfare and consider finding someone else.
2006-07-30 18:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he asked you for help, it means his loves you enough to change for you and to accept your help. Keep Him , and help him by talking to him as much as you can about this everytime he points at something , only the trick is do it with a smile, that way it isn't too judgmental, he will feel more relaxed with you .
2006-07-30 18:30:11 · answer #6 · answered by Tellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This relationship will end.
Better sooner then later.
Those types of guys end up ruining most of there relationship.
Save yourself future heartache by dealing with it now.
2006-07-30 18:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by omsuperhoops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be careful to not get locked up in his cage so that you can't get out. the morgue is full of girls who couldn't get away from over protective boyfriends.
2006-07-30 18:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by firechap20 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a writing course and tell him to get lost. You're already messed up.
2006-07-30 18:29:36 · answer #9 · answered by Iknow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come over to my house.
2006-07-30 18:28:19 · answer #10 · answered by Johnny P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋