Why do I feel so sad?

Question

I have a baby boy almost 11 months old and this should be the happiest time of my life. Husband out of work with union job and health insurance ended in March. Since then I have applied for Family Health Care and still didn't get it after many calls and sending paperwork. The social worker says I should get it soon but only for the baby. My husband is doing side-jobs but not much income. I can't look for work right now because my mom had a stroke and my dad has altzheimers and I have to keep going there to help. Brothers say they will help but they do not. My older son is drinking too much and has a very bad attitude and talks to me like I am dirt even though I show him nothing but love and kindness. My phone is probably going off in a week and the rent is behind and the landlord is selling the house we live in and new owner already said rent going up a few hundred dollars. My anorexia/bulimia have returned and I cannot stop. Husband says he is not happy with our sex life

Answer 1

Oh Lulu, I think everyone in ur life are being very unfair and totally unsupportive of u, especially ur husband and brothers. I know its hard going thru all this and it just seems like the whole world is caving in. Ur stronger than this honey, u deserve better than this. I know the tears that come and the loneliness, the hearache and pain.

U need to wash ur face, dry ur tears and take a deep breath. Then, be firm with urself and put ur foot down with ur brothers. Give them no choice but to help with ur parents. Tell them they need to help or else pay for ur parents to be both put in a home or hospital, as bad as it sounds it can be a temporary solution until things in ur life can get more organized.

Personally I wud leave that no good husband of ur's who has the audacity to tell u he's not happy with ur sex life! How dare he, is he blind to all u are going thru now? What does he expect u to be, a sex kitten in bed after crying ur heart out about ur life? I'm sorry but he deserves to be thrown out. You tell him u need to STOP and take time out for urself and ur baby.

Ur older son needs to get a job and start pulling his weight around. You tell him to earn his own salary and pay for his own alcohol and move out and get his own flat if he wants to drink so much, start putting ur foot down honey, thats the key here, keep repeating it to urself, PUT UR FOOT DOWN.

U only have one life, from what I read, ur an Angel trying to cope with the cruelty of this world, u show these people LOVE and they throw it back at u. The only way they will learn is if u take ur baby and focus on you and ur baby and stop giving these uncompassionate people ur time and efforts. Be a good wife for us husband in terms of helping with food at home as he is trying to earn money thru small jobs. Ur older son has no right to talk to u as if ur dirt and too many young men are getting away with that. For his own good Lulu, be firm with him and tell him he needs to get a job and move out soon and start living his own life away from u, u DO NOT need his harsh words and hurful pain he brings to u. Treat him as ur son, be kind to him in terms of loving him and saying u wil always be his mother and he can always come to u for advice etc, but that he needs tostat being a man now and he never will unless u cut the apron strings and let him move out and get a job and be self-sufficient.

U need to go to a clinic that offers free counselling for anorexia, and also the emotional pain u have had to go thru lately with all that u wrote about. Ur husband needs to be more of a man and not bother u with stupid crap like sex, try to ignore his cold heart when he says such things, or else tell him to go buy a playboy magazine and sort himself out bcos u need a partner to be there for u thru all this, and if he can't and is only interested in a sex life at this time in ur life whe ur going thru all this, then tell him unfortuantely ur in emotional pain right now and if he wants a better sex life he needs to help u thru this and help u get ur life back with counselling and helping so that u have more YOU time alone to take care of urself and find peace.

The money situation, keep praying and have faith, it will work out soon. Try looking for jobs that u can do at home, like computer work, typing work for companies etc. Ur husband needs to gte a proper job as u need to focus on ur baby and urself in getting better concerning ur eating problem.

U only have one life honey, fight, fight to have a better life, don't give up now, I know its hard and theres so much pain and no one arounf u cares or understands, but ur stronger than this, and this too will pass. It will get better, just take baby steps and write down each area in ur life that needs fixing, then for each one, write a course of action on how ur going to try to solve these problems. Go thru the list slowly and in time, ur life will be more organized and free.

Good luck and remember, PUT UR FOOT DOWN.
xxx

Answer 2

You are under stress from every angle. It's good that you feel anything at all- alot of people would just go numb. I think it's your feelings that may lead you out of this if you can follow your instincts and pursue what you know in the end will bring you happiness and balance. That's a key, don't build yourself up- it only serves you to fall and find the valley. Find your point of balance and then you will breath free and easy. You might need some sort of professional assitance to serve as your seat belt for this roller coaster ride, seek it out as a guideline. Instead of giving yourself over to wahtever system that swallows you up and tells you they are the "cure".

Answer 3

its called STRESS!! i can relate to what you are going through. my father had a stroke and my mother has hep. c and sirrious of the liver there for thats where i have been spending alot of my time. i have a sister that has moved in with my parents and has finally tooken alot off of me. have you ever heard of catholic social services? where you live at there has got to be some churches that can help you. your older son, if hes old enough to drink then hes old enough to understand and help you and your husband with what yall need. does he live with yall? a 11 month old that is so sweet!!! remeber one thing for me.. GOD dont give you anything i mean anything you or your husband cant handle!!! something good will come out of all this. as far as you and your husbands sex life. maybe thats his way of relieving stress. im not trying to be funny. but maybe if you would let him give you some tlc( tender loving care) then it would help your stress to. but with hard times it puts a lot of stress on couples. but just remeber yall have one another to lean on.

Answer 4

Wow! Anyone would be sad if they were going through what you are. You must be pretty tough just to get through each day. My hat is off to you.

That said, things are piling up. I think you should see a family therapist. I know you don't have any money, but there are family therapists who will work pro bono. You'll need to find one. You can check local women's groups to see if they have a referral service.

Answer 5

If you weren't sad then I'd think there was something WRONG with you! You have an awful lot of stressful stuff going on in your life, try to seek help at a free/low cost place eg. place of worship, women's group, your doctor, therapist ....

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear you're suffering so much...I think you should bear with it for a while...confront your brothers..and tell them u need help now...and stop showing love and kindness to your son...be strict...

Answer 7

You need to seek professional help. A counselor or something.

Answer 8

Im sorry.