Is it wrong to want a baby at 19?

Question

Heres the background on me: Believe it or not, around my area most men cheat on their partners/wives. Therefore, I do not plan to get married until my late 20's when men are more mature. I graduated out of high school in 2005, I make $4 more than minimum wage, I Work full time now, If I were to get pregnant AFTER this september, I would be done with my college....I'm getting into a carrer that pays about $10 more than minimum wage..and I want to have 3-4 kids...and don't want to "put my career first" and act like I have allllll the time in the world to have children...women who are in their late 20's and early 30's who chose not to have children when "the food is hot" have to get medical help, which is expensive and does not always work. I want to be able to be a great-grandma...I don't want to die when my grandchildren are 15. I know it sounds silly and all....but it's true. Some women don't realize that their clock is ticking...and it is.

Answer 1

I was 19 when I had my first baby. I am now 23 and just had my second. It takes a mature, strong and stable person to raise a child. I thankfully married my love, and have him to support me and our family. I think its wonderful that you want to have children young. That was one reason we decided to start a family, although we had other reasons also....1) We are not "partiers", we rarely drink, we enjoy staying home and we make family our number one priority, 2) We knew in the beginning what our finances were, how we were going to afford a place to live, car and insurance payments, and childcare. Not to mention all the little amounts that are reguired to make a family work...and 3) How did we feel putting the "best" time of our lives on hold to raise our children for the next 20 years or so. Look deep within yourself, before bringing a baby into your life. You cant give him/her back, nor can you turn back time. On a personal note, I sit here waiting for my children to get up from their naps, while the machine is washing clothes, the dishes need to be cleaned, and my husband is mowing the grass....and I sometimes wonder who has it better, my family which grows so quick and who I love with all my heart, or my friends who have no cares, are able to go out without worrying about finding a babsitter and who can think of only themselves and what thier pleasure is at that point in time. Basically, make sure you can put all you have in raising a child, because once they are here, you will no longer exist as a person, only as a mother. I have never regretted it...well maybe once...lol

Answer 2

I grew up in a single parent home and I wouldn't trade it for anything. My mom and I are so close. My dad and I are only on a superficial level growing up he brought me any and everything but I never got that bond. It's sounds like you got it all planned out but my advice to you would be to have a plan A B C D etc...because plans don't alway pan out when you have children. I had my son at 19 he is now 7 and I had a plan but it didn't work out the way I thought I would. And it is not just the baby that changes it is others. For example finding the right babysitter, bills, school and/or working schedules, l and other things. Everything else dictates what you next step will be sometimes. But once you have those plans and back plans put into place I think you will do great. Good Luck

Answer 3

Most men actually tend to divorce their wives after the kids are born and they have been married for 10+ years.

It's your decision to make, but I wouldn't have a baby with anyone until you have been married (much harder to find a good man if you already have a kid anyway).

Also, women in their 30's can often get pregnant very easily, don't worry about being 'infertile'.

At 19, you may think you know what you want, but in your early 20's everything changes. Give it one or two years and if you still feel the same way then chances are you won't change. But if you make this decision rashly, it's something that you will have to follow your whole life. Good luck!

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with wanting a baby at 19.

Especially if you're financially capable of supporting a baby at 19, even more props to you.

I'm 20, and having my first baby in November.

The biological clock is indeed ticking! No sense living your life first, then having kids as an afterthought, once you're bored with your career and such. If your priorities in life are to have beautiful babies and be an energetic young mom, go for it!

Everyone is different.

Some women think it's best to wait till they're 40. I couldn't do it, there is NO way.

And being a single mom, is really not horrible or bad... Not if you're a mature, level-headed mom. And definitely not if your option is to be attached to a cheating SOB, screw some of that. I would rather be a single mom working my butt off for my kids, than a married mom who is in an abusive, unhealthy relationship.

Do what's best, for you and your future babies.

Answer 5

I think from my experience, that if I had my first child when I was nineteen, it would have been a better time FOR ME! I was 25 when my 1st daughter was born & things were a little different for me so financially it was harder at 25 then it would have been at 19 for me. But we deal & make it through. It depends on whats best for you. Is your mate ready for children right now.. Will he stick around. Its a HUGE responsibility caring for someone's elses life & well-being. It depends on the situation. All I can say FIRST HAND is that ITS hard as HELL doin it on your own no matter what age you are. I'm now 28 & pregnant with my second child & I will basically be doin it all on my own again. I believe that sometimes there is no RIGHT time for some things that happen in life, but you take it as it comes & do your best. GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

I totally know what you mean. I want to have my first child when i'm young too.. I don't want to wait until i'm like friggen 30. I don't think it's wrong to want a kid at 19.. I will admit that it's a little on the young side.. but hey if you feel that you are ready soon then why not? But I would definitely wait until you're done with college.. and you can afford to take care of your baby... that would be the smart way to go. A lot of women want to have children young, it's life.. and after all women are here on earth to make babies.

Answer 7

it's not wrong to want children. my question is who do you want to have these children with if you are going to wait til you get married in your late 20's? and what if he doesn't want children, or accept yours, or wants his own children, or had 2-3-4 of his own? this is all i have to say now that i can look back on my life---i dated a jerk for almost 9 yrs, from 19-27....thought we were getting married. that never happened. and i shiver at the thought that if we did have children--how our lives would have been tangled up forever. how our kid would be tangled up with all these other families. needless to say, i wasted a good part of my babymaking years dating a loser. at 30, i met the right man, we got married at 32. we have 3 beautiful healthy children conceived the old fashion way without medical intervention. i had them at 34, 36 and 37. three beautiful children made out of love. you do have time--to find the right person to start a family with. but if you have a child now, or later...your life is what it will be.

Answer 8

It is not wrong at all. I had my first at 19 and out of wedlock. I have four children now my first was from another relationship my other three children are from the same father and we are not married yet. We bought a house a month before our fourth child was born. I have been a stay at home mom for six years now I am returning to work. And I am planning to have another child soon.

Answer 9

Believe it or not, men are not more mature in their 20s. We are always going to be more mature than they are. What you are experiencing now is the maternal craving that we all get. I'm 25 and mine chimmed in at 21. Just understand once the baby comes, your needs come last. Your life belongs to the child.You can't come and go as you would normally do.So be prepared for the Ultimate sit down. I have 2 now and now its even harder to find a sitter as often as I wish. You do actually have time to wait. Live for yourself a little more.Become of legal age to drink. Basically, enjoy your freedom.

Answer 10

The best thing to do is to wait until you have the good paying job so that you won't be so financially burdoned. Having kids is really expensive, and what happens if you do have kids and none of them have kids? I became a father when I was 20. It was really hard and still is. You need to be willing to sacrafice everything. I'm basically single now and its even hard to find a female that wasnts to go out with a guy who already has a kid.