I've hurt my best friend, my husband, and I'm so sorry, the look on his face is cutting through my soul like a knife, I never meant to hurt him and when I say that I know what I did was a choice and I made it but still hate what I've done. I don't deserve him, we've been through alot but he didnt deserve this. I dont know what to do...It's like something in me associates love with pain and I don't know how to seperate the two
2006-07-30 10:32:30 · 12 answers · asked by Completly in love... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe u should try listen to ur heart for a change, if u love him like u say you do then do what ever it takes to make the pain go away. what you should do is treat ur marriage with the respect and concern it deserves and do something to change it. Hopefully u didn't think you were marrying a jester or someone whose job it was to keep you entertained throughout eternity. Make sure you have realistic expectations then realize that u are a grown up and should be able to entertain yourself and take some responsibility for the fact that its fallen in to a rut, after all u are half of this partnership too. it's not just his marriage u have to b able 2 work together.
2006-07-31 08:53:04 · answer #1 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends on what you did.
But when you hurt someone you love, its natural to feel guilty about it afterwards.
The best thing you can do is to talk with your husband about what happened with what you did to hurt him. Some husbands are good at talking about their feelings, and others aren't, so it may not be easy. But you need to tell him that you feel like crap for hurting him, you still love him, and try to objectively look at the situation and decide what is best for you both as a team. Don't make it confrontive, stay away from anger or blame, just talk about your feelings of hurting him and how much it hurts you as well, because when you are with someone you love that much, and you hurt them, it does hurt you, too. It would hurt you if he hurt himself, or if someone else hurt him.
Focus on forgiveness and making things right, however they are right for you and your husband. Don't feel like things have to be "right" based on what people think "right" should be.
It may take some time - but it will really all be okay in the long run, and provided your relationship was stable before, you can make ammends.
2006-07-30 10:47:02 · answer #2 · answered by Chelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you say he's your best friend right?!?...Start with a genuine apology, and then follow up with showing him that you're sincere by not doing the misdeed again. Also, explain to him how much you know that what you've done has hurt him but also let him know that you are dealing with issues surrounding this, and you are willing to do whatever you have to resolve these issues. Also, maybe counseling will work for either you or the both of you. However, whatever you do let him know that you are in love with him, and that you are willing to do whatever you have to to make up for the hurt that you've caused. Best wishes....
2006-07-30 10:43:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now this matter depends on a couple of things :
1- you hurt him, but you still want to be with him ?
2- has he forgiven you ?
If your answer for the above questions is : yes, then you do not have a problem, if there is a " No " then I suggest you must sit down and have a serious talk with him, instead of having these disturbing feelings.
2006-07-30 10:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by Fadi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing is to explain what you just told us to your husband. The second is to get to counseling right away. If you are having trouble separating love and pain you need to have someone help you do it. The third thing is to beg your husband to get to counseling with you or by himself. He needs to see what you have been dealing with, too. He needs to understand what drove you to do what you did. You may be able to put back the pieces if you both go to counseling.
2006-07-30 10:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would suggest dropping that Ms. from your name and take it more seriously that you are a Mrs. Second I would start talking to your husband and showing him why you are his wife and why he is your husband. Respect for your spouse can go a very far way. Showing true respect for someone shows honesty, understanding, compassion, compromise, etc.
2006-07-30 10:44:44 · answer #6 · answered by dean_moriarty00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you did something bad... all you really can do at this point is ask for forgiveness and hang in there, ride out the storm you created and pray he can get past it... offer to go to counciling if that helps.
Aloha!
2006-07-30 10:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not so much your decision as it is his. You need to talk to him. The guilt of your wrong is eating at you, but is he up to forgiving? Forgiveness is the door to the next step. Respect his decision. If he lets you go maybe he will miss you. If he keeps you then LOVE HIM LIKE NO OTHER WOMAN COULD.
2006-07-30 10:52:58 · answer #8 · answered by combratable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
XXXXXXXXXX I think you are using that association thing as an excuse, there is something more technical than that and unless you find it and cure this problem you marriage will not prosper. XXXXXX
2006-07-30 10:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You couldn't be expecting a response from what you have here, no body know what the so call hurt was about.
2006-07-30 10:36:21 · answer #10 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋