How can I just "let it go" and control my temper? How do I aviod an argument?

Question

Fighting with people/boyfriend

Answer 1

Lets look at it this way. When a person gets mad and loses their temper along with loud voices, a person doesn't think before they speak. Hurtful things are said in the heat of anger that are hard to forgive. When you get angry, before the yelling and hurtful messages start, you need to step back and think. Why are you losing your temper? Are you upset because they are right and you are actually mad at yourself, or because they are wrong and you are upset they are making the wrong choice? Vis versa for the other person you are arguing with. I understand that while in a heated debate, it is difficult to just stop, but you have got to help yourself. If you love the person you are having a argument with, do you really want to allenate this person by not having control over your emotions,and blurting something hatefull and hurtfull?
Also, if you are fighting with a sibling or peer, it could be that they are just trying to get your goat, push your buttons and by you losing your temper is giving them exactly what they want. So, do the opposite, just tell them you are sorry they are mad, but you still love them and when they calm and wish to speak in a more mature manner, then they can come see you. Then leave, just walk away. Chances are they will calm down and seek you out and you can resolve your issues nicely. If they continue with their tantrum - which is exactly what it is - have a impartial friend help to mediate. Being in control of your emotions will help alliviate the spark that starts an argument. You can't control how another person behaves, but you sure can control yourself. If in the end, you are unable to resolve the issue(s) and you have run out of options, it might be best to just break it off (boyfriend/girlfriend) till they come to terms with what problems they have.

Answer 2

I sometimes start an argument with my boyfriend also.. I've just learned not say it if I know it's going to make him mad. He usually knows what I don't like anyway. Another thing.. is just the tone of your voice. Don't say something like your mad.. like you're trying to start something. 70% of communication isn't even the words you're saying, so your words only reflect about 30% to the person you're talking to. Try not think of the thing that makes you mad, just find something fun to talk about.. make a joke, but definately don't make a joke leading to that you're angry.

You might find out that you aren't the one that always starts the argument, and when some else starts an argument, the worst thing to do is get mad at them. That just makes everything worse and everyone just gets more mad. Try to listen and instead of doing the talking.

Good luck.. and enjoy life :)

Answer 3

Unless you're spineless and have no backbone how can you not fight back..thats just human. I wouldn't want someone to walk all over me but you do have to know how to control your temper..i mean not fly off the handle about silly things. If your temper is really bad...try to walk away..or avoid the situations. Good luck..I think it's good to lash out things..better than keeping them all bottled up inside.

Answer 4

Just walk away. Some things in life are just not worth fighting for. Things like having someone call the cops on you for fighting, getting arrested, getting thrown in jail, bonding out, having to appear in court and being slapped with fines and having this on your record. Just think, all of these things can be avoided if people would walk away from fights and it costs nothing compared to what fighting can cost them.

Answer 5

The biggest thing is you need to think before you speak. It may also help if you do some positive reading to show you a new way to approach situations. It has helped for me. Do you sometimes feel guilty after you have lost your temper on someone?

Answer 6

Anger management classes .And think real hard . Is your temper worth losing the one or ones you love?

Answer 7

Always think before you speak. It's not easy, but you need to think about how people will react to each statement you make. Once you control your tongue, everything else will fall in line, and that's biblical.

Answer 8

I got into tae-kwon do,started lifting weights,and saw atherapist for anger issues.now i just laugh and walk away.because it's not worth it

Answer 9

i agree with beyondthestars...it's so not worth it....you end up saying hurtful things and it turns into one big explosion. just take a deep breath and think before you speak...and take a few minutes to yourself if you have to

Answer 10

this maybe weird but when i get angry what i do is hold my ear...(the lower part in which is pierced) and i massage it in a circular manner then after a while i would feel that my anger is lessen...