OK my fiance broke up with me and told me he's giving me a month to start school full time, start working out with him, start keeping all my **** clean and work on communication skills and basically become a better person. This isn't the hard part the hard part is we aren't together for this month well at least not saying we are he's still here everyday talking to me and calls me ever couple of hours when he's not here he still tells me he loves and wants to see me become a better person (not that I'm a bad person) all I want to do is be with him and love him being his friend is SO hard on me plus I'm kinda not single cuz I'm doing everything he's asking me to do so what is up with this??? What would you do?? should I tell him we are either together all the way or single all the way??? Please help me!!!
2006-07-30 09:05:29 · 10 answers · asked by MelC 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He wants his cake and eat it too... So i suggest either your a couple or your not.
He is trying to make you into something different and he should love you for you and not what he want you to become.
Changing for the better is ok, if it is your choice. But when your given strict instruction to change on demand for a person. That to me is unacceptable and you should move on and find someone who loves you for you being YOU !!
Best of luck to you
2006-07-30 09:11:52 · answer #1 · answered by young at heart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but this guy sounds like.. actually IS a first class @$$ & a serious control freak! It will only get worse if you take his sorry @$$ back!
Sounds like he is always checking up on you? Why? is it his guilty concience? or he don't trust you?
Either way cheking up on you is very weird.
He will eventually run your life trust me I've been there, had a man just like this. It got to the point I wasn't even allowed to call or see my own parents!!! It got to the point of physical & emotional/mental abuse towards me & my 2 little kids!
He obviously don't love you & accept you the way you are!
Reguardless of your jmperfections. (we all have imperfections). Please tell him get lost! NOW!!
Tell him you don't need him to run your life!
After all IT IS YOUR LIFE! Don't let him take it away!
Cuz thats what will eventually happen.
You DO NOT need or deserve his shyt!
There are alot of good men in this world & there is someone for you in this world who would adore you & treat you right & love everything about you & will not want you to change a thing about yourself!!! They'll love all of you!
I don't know if your religous or not .. No matter if your are or aren't
1st Corinthians 13:4-7 Pretty much discribes what Love is suppose to be. check it out sometime.
He must think he is God's gift to women & Mr. Perfect.
He sounds exactly like my ex husband..
I am actually concerned for you.. so
I hope your really take what I said seriously.
This guy has some major Issues that you aren't gonna beable to fix! If you stay it will probably get real ugly.
I hope this helped you!
Good Luck & God Bless..
be prayin for ya (even if yer' not the religous type :)
PS: If your feeling "froggy"...While you are telling him where to go.. Point out every little annoyance & imperfection he has! Make him realize that he IS NOT perfect & it might knock his ego down a few notches.
2006-07-30 16:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by Joeysol'lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my opinion:
sorry to hear about the breakup - such things are never easy; seems like you really liked this person. but, he would completely control your life if you'll would be together, so I think it is actually good you'll broke up.
i personally think 21 is way too young to be engaged and thinking about marriage. have you lived your dreams yet? what did you want to become when you were a kid? i'd say pursue your dreams before getting all serious about settling down. just my opinion.
he sounds like a control freak, no one should tell you what to do. but, please, think seriously about going back to school - that is going to be good in the long run for sure. school will give you a lot: knowledge, confidence, some degree of discipline and it IS fun, so please think about going and finishing up school if you can.
reconnect with your friends, they'll help you get through tough times such as this. good luck.
2006-07-30 17:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by donewithschool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just want to know why he proposed to you and suddenly decided he wasn't satisfied with who you are?
I've been in the limbo situation (not for the same reasons) and it really isn't worth all the emotional trauma...so I think you need to decide whether this effort is worth it. If it is, then he should be just as able to support you as your fiance as he would be your friend.
2006-07-30 16:29:58 · answer #4 · answered by scheindele42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you letting him run your entire life? Obviously he has problems with the person you are or else he wouldn't be trying to change you. I think he is looking for reasons to get out of the relationship.
2006-07-30 16:15:40 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you need him to tell you who you are? He sounds like a major contol freak. Move on to someone who respects you for being YOU.
2006-07-30 16:11:44 · answer #6 · answered by thisisraya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to do all those things he asking....... Do those things for yourself.NOT!!!! because he wants it.You gotta want it for yourself first.Espcially basically sound's like he's demanding it.Don't let anyone control who you are or who you become.YOU CONTROL YOURSELF nobody else does
2006-07-30 16:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by Mike S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he runs your life now, your marriage will be hell, cut your loses with this guy and go on.
2006-07-30 16:10:07 · answer #8 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have no backbone, stand up for yourself and be you, the happy you before you meet the jerkass.
2006-07-30 16:20:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
and he's mr perfect
2006-07-30 16:10:27 · answer #10 · answered by Sandra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋