i met my boyfriend 5 months after he seperated from his wife, yet she treats me like i stole him from her, refers to me as the slut, but the worst is that she calls my baby son it or the thing. how can i get her to stop calling him names, without putting my boyfriend in a predicament? if he says anything to her , she withdraws him access to his kids. she will not speak to me directly and i should just let it go, but feel the need to defend my son. any ideas?
2006-07-30 09:01:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The ex-wife is the one with the problem. She has not let go of her feelings of resentment and hurts from the divorce. Instead of seeking help for herself she takes it out on everyone else. This woman is bitter. She is a bad influence on the children.
You need to be the adult here. Your son is not old enough to understand since he is a baby. Has this woman actually seen your son? She is trying to hurt both you and your husband in the only way she knows how. You have to understand that she is acting like a child right now. Don't let your son anywhere near her. Ignore her jealousy and raise your son to understand he is loved and a wonderful child. When the bf children are at your house be sure to treat them exactly the way you treat your son. Those poor kids live with mom all the time and she has said horrible things about you to them. Just be yourself and let the kids know that you are a good mom and a good person. That is all you can do except pray that the poor woman gets some counseling soon.
2006-07-30 09:09:04 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has no business being anywhere near your son. Your bf needs to get court ordered visitation which takes her out of the loop completely, she won't have the power to withdraw his rights, she certainly doesn't have any legal right to do it. After that he can simply tell her where to stick it and that her bs won't be tolerated anymore. The courts see this stuff all the time and its just another day at the office for them so don't worry about that. This is the best way to deal with someone like this. If she's really horrible he can even have it arranged so he picks his kids up somewhere besides her house and she isn't allowed to be there. It also completely eliminates her from you and your sons life. It will get better but can take years. Good luck to you.
2006-07-30 09:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a hard place to be! but i have be there!! i was the girlfriend, then the wife, the mother, and also the ex-wife. so i think that i might be able to help. you can of have to step back and put your self in her shoes. i know a place you dont want go!! but you are a mother now and think of how you woul feel if you two split and your son was going to some other womans house. you would be angry , feeling like that woman was trying to take over your role. yes what she is doing is wrong, but try to remember that he does have kids with her and he wants and needs to be there for his kids!!! you should try talking to her, see if you two can take the kids to mcdonalds, a park or some where that it is not just you two. tell her that you dont like to fight with her you want your boyfriend to see his kids, and that you want to try to work things out between you two. becase in the end the people that suffer becase of the name calls and fighting is the kids!!! and they should be the most important things in the world.
2006-07-30 09:19:32 · answer #3 · answered by kel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't have to be stuck in the middle I say, but he needs to stand up for your child and you...because your child is innocent...your child has nothing to do with the situation of what was. But if I were you, I would just ignore her. She is truly just being immature and jealous. And if you prove your the bigger person, and more mature, even though it hurts when she says those awful things, you'll be fine in the end...and no matter how long it takes, it will eventually stop. Take care!
2006-07-30 10:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by ------ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an ex wife that does the same thing. My only answer is that women just do that. my wife cheated on me and I divorced her, yet no matter who I have in my life is a b***h. And she poisons the childrens minds against them. I dont know why.Good luck.
2006-07-30 09:31:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with Sally. That baggage will only get worse as time goes by. Is the baby his? She uses the kids over his head to get what she wants. As long as he allows this to happen she will never stop
2006-07-30 09:09:20 · answer #6 · answered by Texas_at_its_best 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can bet this will go on until all his kids turn 18, but if you chose to stay in this relationship you will have to deal with it, if you can't run and stay away from men with divorces and kids.
2006-07-30 09:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know but if you figure it out let me know I met my husband 2 yrs after he and his ex split and 11 years later she still blames me and bad mouths me to their 14 year old daughter.
2006-07-30 09:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not need to be insulted, and you need to protect your baby.
Either your bf cut off his ex wife approaches to you. Or better move on. You do not need free troubles.
2006-07-30 09:16:02 · answer #9 · answered by Carlos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is in denial. break up with him and move on. he has too much bagage for you to sort through at this time.
God Bless
2006-07-30 09:05:46 · answer #10 · answered by Sully 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋