I have been divorced since Jan 06' and seperated Nov. 05. I want to start over but don't know how. I am a home body and I am not relly into the bar scene. Does anyone know how?
2006-07-30 08:21:43 · 16 answers · asked by dirtykermit1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your waiting for a woman to parachute out of a plane and crash thru your roof into your home, you may be waiting a long, long, time. LOL That was the only way I was going to meet someone a couple of years back after my divorce. Leaving the house was the biggest obstacle I feared to hurdle. My self esteem was 0, and as the failure I felt like, there was no use imposing on someone else, just to find out they wouldn't like me either. Setting at home, with the only confirmation of who you are, is you, can keep a person down. Once I walked out of the house and started going places, grocery stores, mall, cinema's, hanging out with my girl friends, restaurants, and even garage selling. I started meeting a lot of nice men, and I was wrong, they did like me. So push open that front door, and just get out there. Anywhere you go, there is going to be single women there, waiting and hoping for a good available man to meet up with and possibly form a relationship on any level. Don't waste anymore time!
2006-07-30 10:01:14 · answer #1 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You bet. I'm the same way -- not a church person, not a joiner, and when I left him, I moved out of state to a city where I had few friends. Soooo what to do? If you don't have a killer smile, go see the best cosmetic dentist in your area, if you are tooo heavy, loose it, spend some buckos on your teeth, and some nice outfits, and have some great photos showing off that killer smile. Yup, this is called a mini-makeover. Then put up a nice personal ad on Yahoo Personals, match.com and some of the other dating sites. No one is going to drop in your lap.... be very specific what you want in that ad if you are an educated man, be sure you say you want a lady with at least some college or a college degree, if religion is important to you, match that as well, along with politics, and your hobbies..... -- mine said, "looking for a ltr (long term relationship), and marriage if it comes to that..... looking for a guy not affraid of a committment.") Now this doesn't mean that the perfect lady with no flaws will drop out of your screen -- I met a few loonies, as well as guys who were not interested in a long term relationship, and they got terminated before even the date. Some guys asked me very bluntly "what are you looking for?" and if I did meet them, and they filled the criteria, I sure as heck told them.... and maybe scared off a few, and a few scared me off.... But almost all of the people were very nice, at least on the surface. And, after 15 or 20 dates, with appropriate people I would have never met any other way, found THE sweet guy......No one will ever open a book if the cover is shabby. You don't have to be a gorgeous person, but sure as hell, you need some nice clothes, average body weight, and a killer smile.
2006-07-30 15:47:24 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can meet people anywhere and I absolutely agree meeting someone in a bar is a bad idea, I was a bartender and whoa the stuff I saw! Anyway, try a reputable online dating site like match.com or eharmony.com, I'd say other home bodies would be likely to use them too! Good luck!
2006-07-30 15:31:46 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let friends and coworkers know that you feel you are ready to move on with your life now. Ask them if they have any ideas to help you meet new people. Everyone always says the same thing - meet people at church or join and interest group. That may work for younger (20's) single people, but older people are harder to find. I am 53 and single. It is almost impossible to meet someone my age. I have made a lot of wonderful friends here on the "answers" site. I actually find that I like it this way better. I can email people and get to know them better like this than dealing with the pressure of meeting face to face. Join one of the dating sites. Go out with large groups of friends and hope to spot groups of ladies while you are out. Good luck in your search.
2006-07-30 16:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like other responders have offered - you need to go out and DO things. There really isn't a "homebody" club to join. And really, if ALL you do is stay at home and read and watch TV and go to work when you have to, you are going to be out of luck in finding another mate.
You need to be involved with people to meet people. The bars and the clubs are not the only place to meet people. So figure out what will make you happy in and of itself (meaning, what would you like to do REGARDLESS of whether you meet someone doing it) and then go do it. You need to find an interest (several actually) that you want to pursue and go do it. If you like to read, then join a book club. I you like to cook, then start taking cooking classes (ah, the chicks will love you there.....) If you are a church-going gentleman, then start attending the singles activities in your church. If you think you'd like to learn to rock climb, then go join a rappelling club. If you want to travel, then book with group tours. Go out and DO things - it is the only way to meet people who like the same things you do.
2006-07-30 15:32:40 · answer #5 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Overcoming loneliness and moving to connection, to loving, to union, is not merely an exercise in pop psychology fulfillment or personal gratification. It is the very goal of existence, of being and of becoming. It is what our soul prints seek.
Joy, like honor and serenity and so much else we ache and swear for, is only available to us when we actively seek something else instead. From Marc Gafni Book "Soul Prints" Best Seller
2006-07-30 15:35:45 · answer #6 · answered by Tellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest relationships.com. They are a Christian based singles site. That's where I found my guy in 2 weeks of searching.
2006-07-30 15:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by MsPinkySue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try eharmony.com theyare known for finding the perfect match for people or try going to a club or something like that.
2006-07-30 15:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by Danette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eharmony,com. i have 2 friends who found mates there. the only thing is you have to be truly honest with the wuestionairre. some of the questions make you want to not answer honestly.
2006-07-30 17:21:17 · answer #9 · answered by starla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take your time- don't get in a hurry-- check your local news paper for any thing that may be going on in your city/town (GO TO THEM)-- go to the walking track and take a nice stroll around --you never know who you might meet-- go to the park or ask your friends--they may have a friend for you--- GOOD LUCK!
2006-07-30 15:33:08 · answer #10 · answered by kids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋