Why do you freak out?

Question

A lot of people's parents freak out when they see me hugging my boyfriend. Why is that? I'd prefer an opinion from an actual adult rather than another teenager.

When I say "parents," I don't mean my parents. Other people's parents. And they know we're the same age. And we're not making out and such. Just hugging, like, before we have to leave.

Answer 1

Yeah, ok so maybe you'll get some adult opinions here but from the parents I've been in contact with who freak out when I hug theri daughter (my friend) or even my girlfriend, they don't want their daughter associating with me or their girlfriend, because they have some problem with my behaviour (in this case a hug) and think that because you hang out with people who display such behaviour, then perhaps their daughter/son is doing the same thing - which is ultimately stupid because hugging someone to show affection is so natural - they just freak out because they see their son/daughter in your place - they also think that if this is what you're doing in public, what are you doing when you're alone? and thus, what are their kids up to...but I think parents shouldn't freak, they were kids once.

Answer 2

I am 34 years old with two children. Hopefully, this qualifies this answer as an adult opinion.

If you are very young (say 10-15 years old), many adults would be surprised and offended to see someone so young displaying affection in what we might consider more of an adult manner. It also depends on what you mean by "hug." If it is just a quick hug when you greet each other or say goodbye, there shouldn't be much of a problem. I suspect that is not the case, though. I am assuming that you are probably sitting around in some public place holding each other. This is far more likely to attract negative attention from adults because we tend to be very protective of children and their innocence, even when those children are not our own. In other words, you may be giving the impression that you have grown up too fast or are behaving in a way that is inappropriate for younger people. Also, they may be concerned that you are setting a bad example for their own children, who may be your age or close to it and they are not ready for their children to be acting the way you are with your boyfriend.

If you are older, these people's parent's may be freaking out because they don't think that you should be behaving the way you are in front of them. Many people are offended or at least put off by anyone showing public displays of affection. Again, if it is a simple, quick hug done in greeting, probably no problem. It is the "hanging off of each other" type that will cause problems with grown ups because they simply don't think they should have to look at people acting a more mature way.

My gut tells me that they are probably reacting most to the influence you may be having on their children, though, regardless of your age. Again, please understand that most adults, especially parents, develop an understanding of the value of childrens' innocence that children and teenager themselves don't and couldn't understand.

Just so you know, I did a lot of inappropriate things when I was young, and I wish now that adults had freaked out toward me more often than they did. It might have stopped me from doing things that seemed to make sense at the time, but I now realize were outrageous and in some cases dangerous.

Someone recently asked me if I would like to be eighteen again. I thought about how much more physically fit I was then, how much more hair I had, and how it wasn't too gray yet and was tempted. Then I answered that I would only like to be eighteen again if I got to keep all my experiences.

I am very impressed that you are seeking the opinions and guidance of adults with this question. Regardless of your age, that shows some maturity. I hope this and the other opinions are helpful. May God bless and keep you.

Answer 3

It is because they love their baby girl and only want what is best for her. Naturally most parents assume they know what is best for their child and the speed each child comes to know and experience personal sexual activity is a real concern.
..Today's society and laws say each mother is responsible for their child now and for all time ... till they reach 16-18-21 (depends on State). So parents like to remind you of this.

. Now to the hug itself...Maybe you are grinding at the hips, without realizing it, or he has his hands on your rump, I don't know cause I can't see.
.. Just be aware of how you look in a mirror and you could completely change how Daddy reacts.

.Young love is a precious thing (congratulations) and it is impossible for Mom and Dad to feel exactly as you do about it. If you go easy on them I'd be surprised if your parents did not respond to you in kind. (be nice back to you)

Answer 4

I'm a parent but there really isn't enough info here to give you an answer. It could be because they feel you are too young to be taking things seriously or any one of a dozen other things. How many peoples parents are you hugging him in front of?

Answer 5

I don't freak out when I see teens hugging. Hugging is something couples do to show affection, there is nothing wrong with that. I would freak out if I saw teens dry humping eachother and making out - as that would just be inappropriate. But I don't see anything wrong with showing a sign of affection, like hugging.

Answer 6

I am an adult and I "freaked out" when I saw my white daughter hugging her black boyfriend!!! So, being a parent, I would certainly look at who you are hugging!!!

Answer 7

Im a parent, and I see nothing wrong with that.

Maybe there is somehting they see when they look at you together: perhaps he looks too old for you or you for him? Maybe they think you are too young to have a boyfriend at all?

Hugging is fine, they shouldnt bother you unless its a full-blown PDA.

Strange.

Answer 8

would u freak out seeing ur child hugging another guy?

He might be a stranger to them & they do not know him that well, so maybe he needs to build up their trust level before catching u being physical with him.

Afterall, it's kindda rude to be intimate in front of parents.

Answer 9

how old are you both? you didnt mention it and it can have a huge factor for any parent. (and if its in public, a lot of people get uncomfortable around PDA) there can be many other factors, us parents will worry if we think there is better and they are settling...there are so many factors that you havent let us in on, so this one is difficult to answer. if my son was hugging his gf and i knew she was a good girl w/her head on straight, not depending on him alone to make her happy and shared the same faith, then i would have no reason to worry...think about who he is and how youve behaved in the past-have you given them reason to worry?

Answer 10

your age mite have sumthin to do with it .. but mostly what happends after that and will eventully lead to .. no parent ever want to see their kids all grown up because then you mite not have use for them not true but also they dont want to let u go in a world where lot of things they taught you would not be enough