In a loveless relationship with a spouse. Only staying because of being totally "committed" to the children. Is that wrong? Isn't that what making sacrafices is all about?
2006-07-30 07:01:06 · 11 answers · asked by xxx 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I agree that it is important to consider what you are teaching your children.
It is possible to both be devoted parents who have divorced. Your kids need to see an adult that has enough self-esteem to know that they deserve to be happy. Unhappy parents rarely have happy kids.
If you really are both dedicated to the kids, than I'd suggest you get counseling to help determine whether the relationship truly is "loveless", or whether you've just fallen into a rut by being so focused on the kids and not taking time for yourselves as individuals and as a couple. You might find out that the qualities that brought you together still exist, but have been over-run by the stress of running and supporting a family.
Once you've examined all possibilities, you will be less likely to feel regrets if you do determine that there is no more intimate bond between you. Leave no rock unturned and then move ahead with a clear conscience. You, your spouse and your kids all are worthy of love and happiness.
Good Luck!
2006-07-30 07:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by HearKat 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
No. It's not good for your kids to grow up with their parents as just roommates. That is not a family. You will give them 10 or 20 years of a loveless relationship that they see every day. What to guess how that will effect them? Think that they would say a happy family would be a nice loveless realtionship?
It'd be far better for them if you simply got seperated.
And if you are all about 'sacrafices', why not put aside your pride or anger or whatever and have a lovefull relationship.
2006-07-30 07:17:06 · answer #2 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can still both be committed to the children without being together. If you and your spouse are unhappy together and it shows, then the kids will pick up on that. Your kids need to be in a healthy environment regardless of whether you and your spouse choose to be together. Maybe take some time to speak with your spouse to see if you all should be together.
2006-07-30 07:13:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is no love it is going to end eventually. It's better to do it now the longer you wait the harder its going to be on the kids besides do you want them to end up in a loveless relationship and thinking its right.
2006-07-30 07:17:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a child of divorce myself, the only advice I can give you... If you decide to get divorced....Make damn sure they know it isnt there fault, dont make them choose who to live with..
If at all possible, wait until they are old enough to understand what is happening.. Because it is very hard to explain to a little child why mommy and daddy dont love each other anymore.. they automatically think it is their fault.. They are to young to understand..
If I had children, I would at least wait till they were old enough to understand what people argue about and what not..
2006-07-30 07:19:56 · answer #5 · answered by boysxlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tried that...stayed married after I didn't feel love...no love turned to resentment until we practically hate each other... kids were witnessing arguments, abusive behavior from him.. and complete lack of communication and affection...after 8 years decided I couldn't stay for the kids anymore plus it was hurting them emotionally too
2006-07-30 07:09:35 · answer #6 · answered by JustWant2B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the long run its going to hurt your kids.
If you do not love your spouse you need to bring that out in the open and make arrangements from there. You will feel so much better, and your kids will benefit from that.Kids are much smarter than they are given credit for, even in the toddler years.
good luck.
2006-07-30 07:06:37 · answer #7 · answered by cherokee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not stay in a relationship because of the children sweetheart, because they are the ones that suffer the most. if your not happy with him, get out , for the children sake.
2006-07-30 07:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by rosebud 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your children will get more from you if you are in a Loving relationship with someone else... don't stay...
2006-07-30 08:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by engineer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you really feel about him? if you dont really have feelings than you dont really not worth it
2006-07-30 07:05:52 · answer #10 · answered by sweethearts20002001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋