Why do men abuse women?

Question

Overwhelmingly the victims of domestic violence are women and children..men suffer too but to nowhere near the same extent..but this Q is intend to cover those victims too..

When I had my little girl - behind the loo door was a poster showing a pregnant victim of domestic violence..apparently 20% of pregnant women suffer at the hands of a violent partner.. so sad that the w.c was the only place the hospital could place the poster - away from an abusive or controlling partner..

Just wondered is there any reasoning behind why this abhorrent social ill is so prevalent? 50% of female murder victims die at the hands of a partner or ex-partner for example, 12,000 women in Russia die each year..

Why why why

HUH? What is it with the 'it works the other way too brigade?' - I made that point at the very start and said I include those victims too.. read before you open yet gub! lol

Answer 1

That's too complex a question. Too many levels and issues come into play. Part of the problem I have seen being a male is that many live in very horrible and very unhealthy relationships. I see interaction and things said between supposed lovers that raise a red flag of coming abuse. It starts early with honest issues and major betrayal. Being effed over if you know what I mean. As you grow up. You can be exposed to many so called mind games and abuse. By a parent or sibling etc. Most abusers are acting out from years and layers of abuse on too many levels to go into here. The problem many have that lead to abuse and worse are that women are still not brought up to assert that the man in the equation need to explain the BS as soon as it shows up. To many women are trusting to a fault and it just builds and builds with broken guys and they get sucked into a relationship and then can't be honest and get out. Then the resentment shows up and the cycle of control or abuse begins. Women can't get out from it or get away either. They become emotional prisoners and feel it's their fault and the guys resent them more for being supportive or emotionally available. That's just one concept. The key is not to accept any red flags and go with your gut. End bad relationships with honesty and strong will. If they start to act Wacko. Get your crap together and get a restraining order and document everything. Read books about stalkers. They are one level or two above a rapist and killers. My opinion only.

Answer 2

I wouldn't be so sure that it's overwhelmingly men who abuse women. For example more women hit men than vice-versa, for the majority of men hitting women is taboo, yet how many of them have been hit by a woman at some point and not hit back? Also the forms of female abuse - within the family are more subtle and psychological/emotional than that perpetrated by men. Female sexual abuse is also often disregarded or glossed over as motherly love. At any rate the picture is much more complex than the one you paint.

To look at domestic violence - it is a sad fact that there are a lot of people who need this sort of control to feel secure about themselves. They are good at picking partners with low self esteem that they can manipulate, intimidate and bully. They are the same sort of people who become Nazis and work in concentration camps where they can feed their lust for control and power.

It is sickening that in this day and age such Neanderthal behaviour still goes on. I hope that things are getting better, but there is a long way to go.

Answer 3

This is what i feel. No man in his right senses will abuse the one he loves or loved ones unless pushed to a Conner.Did you ever realize that women do play with the mind of the man trying to control him with what they have and he wants (emotion -love - SEX-and relationship)like an animal trainer,who gets the animal to do what he wants and later gives it what it wants(Favorite food and love/care/petting).This is natural for the women ,but they misuse this god given power over men so many a time that men do what they do. They cannot complaint because of their ego and there is no physical proof of any thing they do, its all psychological(Mind and words play) which they are very good at.I don't say that men don't use this plan but for them physical and oral words are easier to use and hence get caught with proof.The men who do abuse women/children without reason are mentally ill and have to treated accordingly. This is the only way a women can keep her man to herself,as a man is polygamous by nature and craves more than the women can give some times and hence this situation .

Answer 4

It's to do with being in a so called position of Power. A man who abuses a woman is an A***h*** and like wise. But those guys who say that woman who abuse men are right but wrong due more men are the abusers!!!

Answer 5

Men have been whacking on women forever.

Used to be "expected" if the little woman got out of hand.

Feminism did little to change this just make it easier for young girls to have sex and get pregnant. This led to more young girls getting married and finding their partner was an insecure idiot.

Just remember, violent relationships are called "cyclical behavior" there's a cycle to the violence and BOTH parties play a role. That's why most people don't understand why women stay after being hit.


The majority of men today do NOT hit women. A majority of women will NOT stay with a partner who is crazy and insecure. Women can do a better job of RECOGNIZING a violent partner before having children and becoming "trapped"

Answer 6

It's pretty clear that the abused abuse (sexual, physical, emotional or a combination). Somewhere in the history of the abuser you'll find abuse or, in some small percentage of cases, an undiagnosed/treated learning disability leading to the kid feeling inferior. It's dad gum near an epidemic and the costs to the country in terms of foster care, children's homes, court systems for juvenile justice, and lost productivity from dysfunction (drug and alcohol use) are virtually incalculable. The Bible wasn't far wrong when indicating that the sins of the fathers (and mothers) will be visited on even the third and fourth generations.

Answer 7

For the same reasons that women abuse men (as well as animals, children, their own bodies, each other etc.).
Don't quote numbers because you are asking WHY (ie the principle behind the action).
You should also bear in mind that cultures differ in their treatment of individuals.
Lastly you seriously think about defining "abuse". Women might do various things that you would not consider abuse but that others might.

Answer 8

Men abusing women is sort of a defense and coping mechanism for being or feeling WEAK in the other aspects of their lives. On top of that it becomes a cycle. my "gram-pa" abused my father, so until I was 18 my father abused me and my brother and my mom. Society ingrains in a mans psyche that he should be strong and if he can't exhibit that in his daily public life he'll go home and prove his strength. As far as the men who know they're strong like my dad, they are usually the ones who grew up with it and are now over compensating for being made to feel weak while he was growing up and developing his personality.

Answer 9

Yes, I read your entire question, and it is true that women abuse men too, but most men are too proud to report that their woman beat them up. It's just not good for cred among the fellas.
I wonder why is it that women prefer guys who have these sorts of potential tendencies to begin with. Girls always say that they want a guy who "looks like a bad boy, but acts like a gentleman" as though it were some sort of enlightened choice as though saying "I want to play with a fire that won't ACTUALLY threaten to burn me". A lot of women set themselves up for these sorts of things. Usually there are warning signs, but they choose to dismiss them.
I also understand that sometimes it is a matter of a guy just changing from a nice guy to a wolf in sheep's clothing. I have a bit more sympathy for those who get caught up in that sort of tragedy.
I'm curious to see what your research has to say about drug abuse or even a history of abuse in either partner or even their families. A lot of men who beat their partners sustained similar abuse as children themselves, where they may have learned to associate that behavior as a twisted form of love, or even as an outlet for frustration.
I challenge you to turn this into a psychological debate before you try to spin it off into a gender issue.
But in the end, that's just the perspective I look at it from.

Answer 10

Its a difficult question to answer, and when I hear of examples it makes me ashamed of my gender. there are many excuses people use for treating each other so badly. In the end it comes down to lack of control. But you should also remember that many men are abused by women also. But these crimes go unreported because how a mans role in a relationship is perceived in society, and if he reports it he will be seen as inferior and ridiculed.