Ok some of you are helping me a lot.. One more question (: Ok sense the dad don't want the baby. Would be right or wrong to still offer to his family. brother, sister. cousins and so on to be part of this babies life or should I not?
2006-07-30 06:50:55 · 35 answers · asked by karen878806 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
yes you should just cuz the father wants to be a butt don't take the babies other family away that would just be taking your anger out on the child
2006-07-30 06:55:13 · answer #1 · answered by jackie2y2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well Karen, time for a little hard love.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? There is NO EXCUSE for an unwanted pregnancy, short of getting raped and being tied up for 3 months (it is unsafe to abort in the 2 trimester, I believe but am not positive).
You ultimately chose to have this baby. The responsibility for it rests squarely on your shoulders. Obviously some is expected from the father, but he can just run away, like the little boy that he is obviously is, and shirk his responsibilities.
YOU HAD THE CHILD! YOU are the mom. Trying to pawn the baby off on anybody is just sick. DON'T TELL ME YOU CANNOT RAISE IT. Life is not easy, and because you made a few poor choices, you now have a little life that NEEDS you. If you are a good person, then try, or still being a somewhat good person, put the baby up for adoption.
THESE are decisions you should have been making when you got pregnant, NOT after the baby is born.
Obviously I do not know the entire story, but I have heard enough to know that you could have prevented this from happening.
I hope the child ends up growing up in a loving caring environment. THAT is the most important thing.
TFTP
2006-07-30 07:00:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a hard decision. My ex husband doesn't see the child we had together (his choice). I tried to let his family but it was so awkward since he wasn't involved in his life. I didn't feel comfortable at all leaving him with them so I would stay most f the time or just drop him for an hour or so(my son was an infant). Then I realized it was always me calling them to see if they wanted to see him so I stopped calling to see what would happen and they never called.
Then I remarried and my husband adopted my son.
The bio grandparents send cards twice a year (bday and Christmas) along with a savings bond. If they asked I would let them come over and see him but they don't ask. My child is 5 now. He knows he has another "dad", brother, grandparents, etc...but the only ones he has ever met is an uncle and his kids. They are the only ones that bother to treat him like family.
So it all depends on how comfortable you are with those family members to leave your child with them and being involved in your life for the rest of it. Having more people to love a child is almost never a bad idea. But go with your gut, it is a hard hard decision to make. Think about how your child will feel when he/she is older and how you will explain your decision to him/her.
2006-07-30 07:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by turtle43761 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes 2 to make a baby. Did you consider what type of father this man would be before you had a child with him? Did you think of the responsibility that goes with raising a child? If I were you, I would stop worrying about men being jerks and start thinking about what I needed to do to ensure that this child is taken care of.
2006-07-30 07:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first of all, it takes two to make a baby. For all the young girls out there, unless you are prepared to take 100% responsibility to raise a child, don't have unprotected sex with any guy!
Second, if the guy who impregnated you has left you and the baby, do you really want the baby around the people who helped to instill these wonderful values in your baby's father? I would steer clear of the father's family, UNLESS they are willing to help share in the responsibility.
2006-07-30 07:00:34 · answer #5 · answered by askme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course. Grandparents have rights you know, besides that who is going to answer all the questions your baby is going to ask about Dad later in life. You won't have to deal with these questions. I would say you can go as far as letting grandma and grandpa see the baby, but other than that like cousins, not necessary.
2006-07-30 06:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by tricksy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His family has the right to see the baby, and if they want to they should be allowed too...My nephews dad hasn't seen him in 5 years but my nephew sees his grandparents and his cousins.....and I'm sure you have heard this before but next time use protection because the baby is the only one that is going to be hurting from this, and prepare yourself for the questions, when my nephew was four all we heard was why did my dad leave and why doesn't my dad love me, its hard but you'll get through it....Good Luck
2006-07-30 06:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, let me say to all of you that are being judgemental, remember NO ONE IS PERFECT and we all have problems and issues. "HE WHO IS WITHOUT ISSUES< CAST THE FIRST STONE."
Secondly, NOT ALL men are jerks and we have no way of telling how a person is going to turn out becuase WE ALL put up fronts to get what we want and then after awhile our true colors come out...(U ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT).
Thirdly, I would introduce the baby to his family and let them decide whether or not they want to be a part of your child's life. The most you can do is LOVE your child and provide for him/her the best way.
Lastly, I would try to remain civil with the father and if he is having doubts about whether or not he is the father then get the courts to have him do a DNA test.
Remember, he may be the sperm donor but it takes a REAL man to be a father....
DO NOT listen to the negative people and I hope your issue gets resolved.
GOOD LUCK!!!! KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!!
2006-07-30 07:16:55 · answer #8 · answered by dimps902000 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sometimes it is us women that are the jerks, we think if we get pregnant , mybe the man will magically change his mind and make a commitment. This man did not want any more kids or any commitments. You didn't accept that. Probably you need counseling to find out why you are attracted to the wrong men. then forget about this deadbeat dad and just raise the baby yourself and save yourself years of court, etc. try to just love your baby and move on.
2006-07-30 13:14:38 · answer #9 · answered by momisthecoolone 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is he denying the baby all together? If he is then no I wouldn't bother. If he knows it's his and his family wants to be involved then that's fine I think, the baby deserves to know where he/she came from. My ex's family welcomed my boys w/open arms and see them all the time but thier father - they haven't seen him for 13 years which was thier fathers choice... why? I'll never know but my boys are happy and that's what matters. Atleast they don't have to go thru life wondering.
2006-07-30 06:59:38 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes...do the right thing and give the child an extended family....It will make you look all the better. You got the greatest gift of this child..he is a loser to not see it or want to be involved! Live your life, find a nice guy..they are out there! Make sure dead beat daddy pays child support in the meantime...you play..you pay
2006-07-30 06:55:52 · answer #11 · answered by smanning5568 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋