The other night was date night for me and my boyfriend of three years. We have been living together for one year. He is very passionate about his christian beliefs and so am I. When he asked me to move in he said God had accepted us as one. we were then a unit and started working on our family with me him and my three year old daughter which he loves as his own and is proud to say he has a step daughter.
Now the other night he told me that all he wanted was for me to be faithful and a good wife. Which is who I am by nature anyway I would never stray.
He asked me if I would always be there and love him. Which I know one day one of us will pass and forever doesn't last forever. I told him I will love him as long as I am here and after that I hope that I am still in his heart.
He looked up to talk to God which we both do for guidance at times. And said the words "til death do us part" and asked if that is how I felt with a smile oon his face
what does this mean?
2006-07-30 06:27:42 · 18 answers · asked by jennbabe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i am getting lots of negativity here and its inappropriate
my daughter is mine I am legally seperated and I was given the guidance to leave her father because bluntly he beat the sh it out of me on a regular basis It took a lot of strength but I did and with that came a better life for her.
We took the next step by living together yes and yes and can be seen as living in sin. He has never lived with another woman and he loves me and my daughter more than anything
we have a very strong relationship and i am not here for money insurance his pension nothing like that i am a strong woman that has always been independent and have been for many years
I am not stupid for asking an opinion and those that have reacted that way sorry but i no question is a stupid question remember that
Do I want to marry this man yes........do I already feel I am yes I was just wondering what others would have thought or did In all honesty where we live our commolaw status has begun
2006-07-30 06:45:11 · update #1
Sounds like your boyfriend wants to marry you. He just wants to be sure that your the one,and that you'll take it totally serious. He wants your union to be forever or until one of you passes away.
2006-07-30 06:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by GoldenGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I think you need to step back and take a deep breath. First, are you divorced? There is nothing here that indicates you are not still married. Are You? If so move out on your own , get the divorce and consider a relationship later. If the divorce is over and done, guess what, move out and live alone with your child. If this guy is so religious what is doing in this type of relationship where you are "living in sin". I do not understand how a professed religious couple can recognize a sin and continue to do it willingly.
How do you reconcile that attitude with your beliefs. What are you teaching your daughter? Do you think this is proper behavior to teach a child? If so she is doomed to repeat the same errors.
Frankly the negative comments here should be expected. I'm not a religious person but I have a difficult time with people who think they are, yet flaunt the tenants of their own stated beliefs.
I'm also very suspect of anyone who thinks they have an understanding of what God accepts.
2006-07-30 14:42:52 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Til death do us part" is part of the marriage ceremony. It appears as though he was performing his own marriage ceremony with you. He was definitely saying he planned to be with you forever. I don't know the two of you, so I cannot say if he is serious, or just playing it out for your benefit. Are you absolutely sure he has the christian beliefs you think he does?
I could easily imagine someone pretending this, in order to get the girl he wants into the situation he wants. Christianity that operates on what the bible says, would not condone just living together and would not see you two "as one" just because you said the words. Some people make up their own rules however, and "believe" they are right. He definitely was "saying" he planned to be with you "till death you part". To me the question is: Does he really believe in this and is he really serious?
2006-07-30 14:02:21 · answer #3 · answered by Bonnie S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "smile on his face" means that he is still pulling the wool over your eyes..........and you are still falling for it. If you both have "Christian beliefs" then you would not have had a child out of wedlock and you both would not be living together.....totally against Christian beliefs!!!! You give every excuse in the book but you are living in sin, sweetie, and just because you attach the word "Christian" to this whole thing, does not make it right!!! You are really STUPID.....you know that????
2006-07-30 13:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think God's calling is for him to ask you to marry him before you move in together? I really am not buying the 'God wanted me to do this, and do that.' Don't be so naive. Having the same faith is a great foundation to marriage, but when he has a higher being taking accountability for his actions, that means that he just wants someone else to blame should something go wrong. What I am trying to say is that people who put so much faith in religion don't usually understand it. The Christian God gave us the freedom of choice. He won't tell us what to do in our lives. Christ showed us an example of how to live a sinless life, HOWEVER, God loves us so much that he wants us to choose what we think is best for us. Duh. If he wants to live in with you, it's his choice. Not God's instructions.
2006-07-30 14:49:05 · answer #5 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously? It means you are being incredibly stupid. You are giving him all the benefits of being married while you get what - financial security, his pension, being on his insurance, his social security if he dies, a name for your daughter, a name for you - what are you getting out of the deal?
When he decides to replace you, then what? Do you think men are going to line up for an old hag who has been used up by a man who didn't love her enough to bother to marry her?
WAKE-UP! It's marriage or move on if not for your self at least for your daughter so she doesn't grow up thinking women are worthless and entitled to nothing in a relationship - even marriage.
Unbelievable.
2006-07-30 13:36:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ermm... Get married for real, and get it over with. It is ok to have this kind of love and committment, but God created marriage because that's the ceremony that really inds HIM to both of you. So, make both of you happy and MARRY. Hurry!
BTW, he has a lovely way of showing his love. You are very lucky.
2006-07-30 13:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by kymill 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is it he wants?
.......I'd be asking my self 'what is it I want?"
re: And said the words "til death do us part" and asked if that is how I felt with a smile ON his face
what does this mean?
.........ask God!
re: I'm getting a lot of negatives here.
.....so what? it seems that you've already answered all your questions and anything else, I'd ask god - not strangers who may 'dis' you.
you seem very Codependent to me and extremely lacking in self-esteem. is that a Christian thing?
2006-07-30 14:17:01 · answer #8 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not united as one untill you are married. it is a sin to live with him before marriage and if he is the christian he proclaims to be then you wouldn't be living with him. I would move out.....he sounds kind of weird.
its almost like your bf is making up his own rules for what is right and wrong.
2006-07-30 13:39:46 · answer #9 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like this guy is a bible thumping hypocrite
if he is so into God and the bible why is he divorced with his promise in front of god "until death do us part" and have a step daughter
he has lied to god before and living with you and be unmarried is slapping god in the face again
it sounds like he is a hypocrite and a liar to me
2006-07-30 13:32:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋