My ex left me 7 months ago (after 20 years of marriage) and now he has a girlfriend. Even though he has only been with her for a few months he now wants our 2 children (12 and 19) to meet her. I asked him why and he said that "it was serious" and that she was a part of his life. Both children refused but now he's starting to pressure them again. I think it's far too early for them to meet her. Am I right?
2006-07-30 05:11:22 · 9 answers · asked by Lotte T 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I honestly think your childen are old enough to make their own decision. If they don't want to meet her yet, then they shouldn't have to meet her. So tell your ex in a calm, kind, but firm voice that you're actually glad that he met someone new and you hope he'll be happy (lie, lie, lie) but that "our children are still terribly hurt from our breakup and they just aren't ready to meet her yet." That's all you have to say. :-)
P.S. I'm sorry for the hurt your ex has caused you and the kids. But, trust me, in the long run you will be happier and realize he did you a big favor.
2006-07-30 05:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by mJc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey your children don't want to and have nothing to do with them anymore and want to be with you.. That is good and Yeah it too far and only met few months. He should waited to see if will last and he should never pressure them to meet his futrue wife. and Kids are worry about calling her mom not you.
I totally understand how it feel and tell him to back off and Let the kids be ready when they are ready if not then you can get court have it fix and so you have full custody with kids. and control how you want it how it works with your kids don't care about the husband dumb a**. You married that man for 20 years and he left you 7 monts ago with new girlfriend. wow. You children not even ready they are still shocked and angery, and upset, for the father did to them.
He don't see that make sure he see and hear what kids have to say to him period. Damn him.
2006-07-30 12:48:45 · answer #2 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they don't want to meet their dad's new gf, they shouldn't be forced to, especially the 12 year old.
It is time to meet the person when things turn serious. Not being in that relationship, how would you know just how serious it is?
2006-07-30 12:21:23 · answer #3 · answered by cowgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how it must hurt you to find hes moved on this quickly in a new serious thing with a new women. If your children have alot of contact visits with their dad. And if this women is going to be in his life. Then as hard as it yes they should meet.
2006-07-30 12:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by cin_ann_43 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to the kids. A girlfriend or step mother is no where near a the real thing! So yea if he wants to peruse it go ahead. The kids most likely not like her anyway.
2006-07-30 12:18:08 · answer #5 · answered by LJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave it up to the kids for now. However, if the relationship progresses to where they get engaged, then that changes things, and the kids may have to bite the bullet and meet the fiance.
2006-07-30 12:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by Taffi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wel i think that the kids should get to know her i mean what coyuld happen. Wouldn't you want them to meet your new boyfriend(if you had one). The only thing i think you should tell them though before you tell them they should go meet their dad's girlfriend is that nomatter what happens they should know that you love them more than anything and you don't want anything in yours and their realationnship with you to change.
2006-07-30 13:09:50 · answer #7 · answered by izzydwight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the kids say they don't want to meet her, he needs to stop pushing the issue. That is a lot of time to be married and not enought time for them to have gotten past it.
2006-07-31 16:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by stacilynn26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are old enough to make up their own minds. If they do not want to meet her, then their dad should not force the issue and shut up!
2006-07-30 12:14:17 · answer #9 · answered by sweetnessmo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋