Alright this might be a little long so, please bear with me.
I have been dating a man long distance via the internet for a year now. He is moving here (supposedly) on August 10th to live with me and go to school. Our relationship has had a lot of ups, but a lot more downs because he has trust issues that don't really have anything to do with me. Because of this, we have never met. We talk every day on the phone, email, text message...but it isn't the kind of relationship I ever saw myself dealing with.
Now, just recently, I started a bit of something on the side with my boss. He is married, has two children, but is unhappy in his marriage despite how he tries to hide it. I am not saying he would leave her for me - he probably won't ever leave her, and I understand that - but within the last few weeks I realized I am attached to him. In love with him. And I'm not sure what to do about it. He knows my internet guy is coming soon, and he is really jealous. Any suggestions?
2006-07-30 04:49:28 · 7 answers · asked by aimeelopez 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Girl, Getting involved with a married man, knowing it ahead of time, well, that's just wrong! I mean put yourself in her shoes. You said this guy has TRUST issue's? Well, I'll say he does! Do you really want to get involved with someone that you won't ever be able to trust? Because, believe me, if he does it once, he'll do it again and again...., and again! Are you picking up what I'm layin' down? I've been the "little woman" sitting at home, keeping dinner warm, and so on and on! It is a bad situation and if it were me, I'd stay clear of any man who couldn't keep it real and keep it honest. You know the old saying "what goes around, comes around?" Don't set yourself up for a fall, give yourself a chance, look for someone who isn't in a committed relationship. Let me tell you, there is no pain like the pain you feel when you find out your spouse is cheating on you. I can't begin to explain, you would have to have been through it to know what I mean. Anyway, I could go on and on, but it's your life, take control of it Honey. Find someone who will be TRUE to YOU. Good Luck
Terry
2006-07-30 05:14:46 · answer #1 · answered by maudiemelvirda@sbcglobal.net 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
In all honesty you need to do some really deep soul searching, and do whatever it takes to help yourself. You obviously have a lot of issues when it comes to relationships. The two main relationships in your life right now are with a person you have never really met, and with a MARRIED man. Helllooo???? Red flags! Red flags!
You should dump them both and stay single until you have your life straightened out. By this I mean you should figure out why it is that you cannot have a normal relationship. What is it in your life that you are so unhappy about that makes you turn to these unhealthy behaviors? You have some pretty twisted views on what a healthy normal relationship should be.
If I were to take a guess at what is going on with you I'd have to say:
1) You have self-esteem issues. You are not happy about/with yourself, nor with your life. You are preventing yourself from having a normal healthy life, with normal healthy relationships.
2) You have intimacy issues. You are afraid of anything that could become serious for the long run. I would also have to say here that you probably have no, or very few, friends whom you feel you can actually trust/depend on. You have problems maintaining a close relationship with anyone.
3) You are afraid of being happy. You are also afraid of commitment. You know in your heart of hearts that you will not be happy in either one of these relationships in the long run. For you, unhappiness is like a drug that you thrive on. This may also stem from your self-esteem issues. In some twisted way you feel that you do not deserve to be happy.
I could go on and on, but those are a few of the major points that you need to consider. Seriously, remove yourself from these situations, take time to pull yourself together, and quit living such a destructive life.
If you do not do this you will find that you will never be truly happy with yourself, or with anyone else. You will find yourself going from one failed relationship to the next, constantly wondering why you can't find anyone who makes you happy. It isn't about them. It is about you. Until you can be happy with yourself first, it will never happen. Never depend on others for happiness. It isn't others' job to make you happy. True happiness has to come from within yourself first. Until you figure that out you will always be miserable.
2006-07-30 05:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to think about it this way is it lust or love? And imagine if you were one of those two little kids and found out that your father is being that incredably disrespectful to their mother, how would you feel? If he is so unhappy then he needs to take care of it like a man and work it out with his wife, however that may be. Not sneak around behind her back. Honey don't let this man have his cake and eat it too, you are going to get nothing out of this but heartache and pain. Consintrate on your internet guy, it sounds like it would be promising and no quite so dead end as dating a married guy with two kids...
2006-07-30 04:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself first, what is it about unavailable men that attracts you, you dont seem to know what you really want, both of these guys are not in reasonable reach. Leave the married guy alone he is playing you on the jealousy thing he just doesnt want to share the goods and thats not love, and as far as the internet guy I think you want him until you actually get him.
2006-07-30 05:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by brite star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does his wife know? How would she feel if she did? How would you feel if you were the wife. This man made vows until death does he part and than he breaks his vows with you and becomes jealous of you! That's ridiculous. He needs to buckle down and fix his marriage. His kids need him and so does his wife. He made commitments that he needs to live up to.
2006-07-30 04:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by Forest H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a suggestion....stop screwing your boss....He's married you homewrecking idiot. Let's see, you're playing two guys, and one of them is jealous....boo hoo hoo...I feel so sorry for you. Why not bring them all on Jerry Springer so the rest of the world can see what
a joke you've made of your life?
2006-07-30 04:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lose the married guy or just keep him on the side ,,,lol want another internet boyfriend who's married???,,,lol
2006-07-30 05:07:38 · answer #7 · answered by Rooster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋