Why is the ex-wife so crazy?

Question

My husband's ex-wife is constantly calling us with her personal problems. When I answer she either hangs up or starts crying saying it's an emergency and that she needs to talk to my husband. (It usually ends up being that her lawnmower won't start or the kids made a big mess in the house.) He gets upset, but tries to stay civil with her because of his kids.
The last time she called, she and I got into and I told her that she needed to stop this, that she's not his wife anymore. She told me that she doesn't care because she has a NEW boyfriend. Yet she keeps calling...
What should we do?

Answer 1

I understand your husband wanting to be civil with her due to the kids, but he needs to be the one to tell her to stop calling out side of matters that deal with the children,
OR
you could start calling her house.....start pretend crying and say your lawn mower isn't working. lol

Answer 2

Tell your husband to ask her if the problem she is having pertains to the children.. if not, then he doesn't need to talk to her. She is too dependant on him. Like a child, she needs "tough love"...in a sense. How will she ever stop leaning on him if he continues to allow it by even listening every time. Each time she calls, you answer the phone. Or better yet, let the answering machine get it, if the message is a true emergency, then call her back. Otherwise, avoid contact as much as possible.

Answer 3

First of all.......it is your husband and not you who needs to step in and set the boundaries!!! He needs to tell her that he will not talk to her at all unless it is something that is a real emergency or visitation with the kids. Get a called ID and don't answer her calls.....let her leave a message. If you do answer the phone and it is her, don't get pulled into any type of conversation with her. Just hang up.....plain and simple. You are allowing this to go on and on.......so either fix it or stop whining!

Answer 4

If she is calling about the kids then you shouldn't do anything they are always going to be connected that way and you knew that when you married him but you shouldn't have to put up with her calling for any reason unrelated to the children. Talk to your husband and have him tell her it is inapropriate for her to call on him whenever she is in need and unless it effects his children he dosen't want to know about her personal problems. Hang in there. I don't have any real experiance in this kind of situation but ex-spouses are difficult enough but when children are involved its totally different.

Answer 5

Wow is she related to my husbands ex wife! Its just bitterness I have the same problem except she has turned the kids on us too. I dont know how long its been since thier divorce but its been three years since his and she is slowing down a bit but she still drives us crazy. Your husband really needs to be firm and be the one to tell her and if he is anything like my husband its not firm enough, and when we get into it all it does it create a whos better then who arguement. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Well, I am sorry to be so honest with you. You knew that he was married and knowing that his ex wife never stops calling bugging him. But you married him. and It up to your husband to end it and change phone number and start using cellur phone and not phone and people that you care and he care will call you cellur phone and unplug the phone so you will have peace.

That how my wife and I did and Becasue seller on the phone always called 10 pm or 8 pm or dinner time and I just had it and unplugged the phone and peace and now that cellur phone been great becasue it was peace and my normal family friend called me. knows time to call and leave message if not answering it was great. you should do it too smiling.

I am sorry be so honest with you... Forgive me.

Answer 7

If you have caller id, and answering machine.......just stop answering the phone. If it is about the kids she can leave a message. If you have too, for a day or so......put this message on it............

Hello, you have reached *us*, we are not able to answer the phone right now, but feel free to leave a message. If this is *her name* you may leave a message if it involves the kids, otherwise hang up. Thank you.

Sounds cruel but if he does it in his voice, she'll get the picture after the first or second day. He is NOT obligated to do anything for her unless it involves his kids, and if he keeps giving in it will NEVER stop!

Answer 8

It sounds like this woman is having a hard time dealing with the fact that her ex husband is married to someone else. She hasn't let him go yet because she still feels like it's his responsibility to take care of her.

He does have an obligation to the children though, so you can't cutt her off completely. Have your husband sit down and talk with her. She's not going to listen to you because in her eyes you are her replacement. He needs to let her know that she can't continue with this behavior and set boundaries with her.

Answer 9

Sounds like she's either>>>
1- still emotionally attached to him.
2- still dependently stuck on him.
3- a control freak... trying to control his life.
4- spoiled... used to having her way.
5- possibly all of the above.
He needs to make her realize (by showing her) that he'll be there for the kids, but not for her... (no lawnmowers, no crying on his shoulder)... just things that concern only the kids.
He'll have to stay true to his words... prove to her that he means what he says>>> stick to it, regardless of what stunt she might pull.

Answer 10

Get Caller ID and voice mail. If the kids are old enough he should give them Kiddie cell phones with HIS phone number preprogrammed into them. These phones can only be used with the preprogrammed numbers. His kids could call him with these phones.

With caller ID and voice mail you and your husband can screen out her calls and decide which calls to return or not.