How do you tell someone you no longer love them?

Question

in a failing marriage with 2 young kids, i care for my husband but no longer love or wish to be with him

Answer 1

Thats a very difficult situation to be in.I certainly think the kindest thing is to sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. Staying together for the sake of the kids being the old story will only lead to resentment from you feeling trapped.
My sister split from her husband about 3 years ago and my neice seems to be very happy sharing her time between her mum and dads house.
I would certainly prefare to know the relationship was over and be able to move on no matter how hurt I was at the time than to be lied to and deceived !
Good luck for the future !

Answer 2

I've been in this situation from all angles, and recently been dumped iin the cruelest fashion, and it's not nice. There is no easy way, but either way you have to be honest with yourself and him, and act quickly and decisively. If you want to patch things up, take steps right now, ie counselling, and contructive, practical, discussions. If it's over, be straight with him and determined and end it the relationship, don't try to soften the blow, don't try to make him feel better, because in the long run you'll make things worse. Especially if you have someone else in tow.

Don't worry about your kids, the younger they are the better they will take it.

Good luck babe, hope this helps.

Thanks for the 'Automatic Doors' answer ;-)

Answer 3

Tell him that you are experiencing the portion of your vows that said "for worse," and that even though this has been going on for some time, you are willing to stick it out and revive your love for him but that you are going to need some help doing that. Tell him that you want him to understand that you care for him but that somewhere along the way your needs weren't being met and you are feeling resentment so deeply that you want to bail. Then tell him that you are going to find a good marriage counselor and you would like him to participate with you. After that, give him some space to fully realize that you are serious. Give him the choice of doing this with you or without.

Answer 4

This is never easy especially when you have children. Ppl stay together because of the difficulty of such situations. I suppose you are prepared for the emotional turmoil that comes with it and involves more ppl than yourselves. You really need to know how you can make ends meet and what about the children, school, normality etc..in fact surviving this situation.You need to think carefully what his response may be before you say anything, as you're the best person to judge that and deal with it accordingly.

Answer 5

I'm sure he realizes that something isn't right in your marriage, so you need to sit down with him and explain how you feel. Maybe he feels the same. Try to figure out a plan, as far as the kids are concerned. Splitting up doesn't have to be nasty, but I will admit that most of the time it is. Kids need their Mom and Dad, so think of them first when you split up. Try to be as kind as possible. Good luck.

Answer 6

thats a tought thing to do theres no real easy way to do it but if u just have a heart to heart wit him tell him how u feel and that u dont want to end things badily because of the kids, im 21 now but wen i was 13 my mum and dad split on bad terms and that wasn't very nice at all for my younger brother and older sister, i really hope u sort things and theres not to much bad blood there good luck

Answer 7

The kids would be better off with 2 parents happy but living apart than miserable and living together.I am 42 but have been married 23 years next week we have had good times and bad times but not once did i stop loving her.So i cant put myself in your shoes.Good Luck and trust your heart.

Answer 8

Tell him how you feel and have a break from each other might help.Think about your happiness first and dont delay it any longer because life is to short to b unhappy.It is not easy with having young children,but why live a lie.

Answer 9

You have to be honest with him and explain what you feel. If there is any hope at all seek help. Having had this done to me I know its not easy.

The most important thing is to NEVER allow the children to be used as weapons between the two of you, always do what you both can to make them happy and move on

Answer 10

Yeah, i agree. The children are the main thing. It depends if you want the children after the divorce. If he's a decent bloke he will understand and move on. So tough... good luck either way