Women seeing men's struggles?

Question

Men, consider males who are open-eyed to women's concerns or experience, and who are empathetic and truly concerned with the challenges or difficulties women face or endure.

Now, what would a woman see if she were to be equally as concerned for a man and his struggles? His pains? His setbacks, and his difficulty as a man in this world? How would you explain to her your experience as a man; what would you want her to know and take to heart, to be concerned about or aware of from YOUR persepctive and experience?

Curious. For all we expect, what do we understand and give back? This in no way lessens what we deserve, of course, but what do they demand/need?

Answer 1

Wow! That’s a very interesting question and one that I’m not sure how to answer exactly. That’s because I myself find it easier to empathize with women because I was for most of my life raised by a woman with very feministic ideals. Have you ever seen the movie ‘Life according to Garp’? It one of Robin Williams’s earlier roles about a struggling writer during the early 60’s, his mother (played by Glen Close) is a feminist writer and Garp spends his life struggling within her shadow to find his own identity. I instantly could relate to that because although I was taught at an early age that I shouldn’t see women a certain way, I nevertheless have to, to a certain degree; otherwise I’d have to sacrifice who I am as a man.

Indeed, women shouldn’t be seen as a sex object (per se), but some women like to feel they are one when they’re with the right man. The question that I had to ask myself constantly in my younger years and still today was 'am I being too chauvinistic for taking an interest in a woman because I found her to be sexually attractive', because I never wanted her to feel that that was the sole reason for why I was interested in her. Another struggle was whether I was giving her as much love and respect as I was receiving. Was I saying the right things at the right time? With age I eventually learned when it was appropriate to say something and when it was not. A delicate balance that is often not easily achieved by the young and restless, and although I am still single I’ve never parted ways with a woman without still being close to her and respectful of her memory and what she meant and still means to me.

The pains and setbacks can easily be challenged as the breaking up or the failure of a relationship, but that dispute would ring hallow compared to the feelings of regret one faces in the aftermath. But therein lays the opportunity to hold the real treasure of what you once had, for to part ways as enemies means that you never had anything to begin with and you’ve just wasted the time you spent together. Whereas when you see the good that came from it you cannot help feeling that you may never be lovers in the intimate sense you once were but you still can love each other nonetheless.

The difficulties for a man is having to face other men and tell them what you once had, because not all men’s souls delve as deeply into the intricacies of the heart as others. This is because one can easily become jaded with what one doesn’t understand or worse yet has no desire to understand anyway. And men have a difficult time expressing these issues to other men because it’s oftentimes easier for ‘men’ to not talk about their vulnerabilities. Weakness in front of another person is very damning to ones self esteem as well as ones role in society sometimes. Especially if it’s a man in front of his male peers.

Sorry for reposting this from my response two days ago.

Answer 2

im not sure if you're wanting men to answer this question or anyone...but i see from the answers so far not many really understand what you mean. I think that women are in general more empathetic and understanding of the struggles men endure. The trouble is that men are inately guarded and have a hard time talking about their problems. The woman knows there's a problem just by looking into his eyes, but he tries to hide it with a smile...unless he isnt the kind of man you describe, then he is more likely to be angry and grouchy and take his frustrations out on the people around him. I wish there were more men in the world who are like the ones you describe in the first part of your question.

Answer 3

being male, men have a lot of freedom to NOT be concerned about this issue at all. sure there are still many places were any-ones concern is to be the top dog, and there are specific pressures relating to that any where from locker room boasting to having the most boy toys. in the day to day polite society there are expectations, mowing the lawn, being the stronger willed person when when encouraging others to stand up for themselves. it is difficult on a different level for those who care about things like equality, when do you fight for yourself, and when do you step aside for affirmative action? sometimes you don't want to believe there are differences, but most of the time differences are very refreshing. see your male friends as just people maybe, joke about the odd things that we do as women and men. I have been lucky with my friends where the barriers have been broken down, strong women and nurturing men. good luck, I hope this was helpful.

Answer 4

Its easier for a man to see a woman in an empathic mode. We men having been assigned the responsibility to provide for our families...see an opportunity to share that responsibility by offering assistance and guidance.

Women on the other hand have been raised to expect the man to share...provide, fix, and otherwise make sure all that is needed is given. Women tend to vacillate between.....expecting success from a man and not accepting failure....to being all to forgiving for a mans inability to succeed, even when its from a lack of trying.

I think that I would appreciate a woman being more aware and sensitive to the tremendous amount of effort that I expend every day to keep my business successful and growing....just because there are days that I can make it "LOOK" easy...doesn't mean it is.

Thanks for the great question!!

Answer 5

I have 3 sons, 3 brothers, a father, two former husbands (one who cheated on four different wives; I was his first) and one who beat me (and shot himself because he realized how mean he was) and a wonderful love who is gentle and kind. From my dealings with men, those I have come to know through family and friends and lovers and associates, I would have to say that most are not unlike women in their feelings except they have been told repeatedly not to act feminine meaning emotional. But the most emotional men are indeed the truest friends and lovers and best businessmen (look at the more passionate cultures). American men are confused from all the various cultures. They often don't know what to be. Women's vices are changing as well. We are expected to hold in our sorrows to our homes and not in public for any reason. We are all, as humans, to act rationally. Sometimes, rational ways are just difficult in times of stress. We all need to be more empathetic, men and women.

Answer 6

I think that as a whole community of beings, one has to set aside gender and look at the facts. Look at how we all suffer from the same ailments that can harm us. Compassion plays the key to a sound community. Love all, I say and try to have a lil' fun.

Answer 7

Ask your grandmothers. They probably gave up their entire self-identities when they married and adjusted everything they said or did to make their husbands more comfortable. They paid 100% attention to their husbands struggles and none to their own.

Answer 8

are you doing a school paper or you really curious?

Answer 9

i really dont know this one is tough

Answer 10

dont know