I'm married. I have a friend who I've been hanging out with for the past month and a half. He always insisted on paying for everything and he'd give me more money for spending and gas to meet up with him. My husband and I have a lot of debt so I graciously accepted all money he gave me. Now he tells me that he's in love with me. I've tried to explain to him that I'm married, but he just doesn't seem to get it. Plus, we have an english barrier because he's from Lebanon. He's even gone as far as asking if my husband would agree to him paying my husband $5000 to divorce me so that he can marry me. I'm moving to Hawaii in September and I don't want him to follow me there in hopes of me falling in love with him. Yes, he has mentioned he was going to move there too. HELP!!!!
2006-07-30 03:12:17 · 12 answers · asked by baby hawaiian girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just to answer some questions, my husband does know about him. We all hang out sometimes together. I never tried to lead him on. I was straight up front when I met him through our mutual friend that I was married and we would be just friends. As for the money he gave me, I'm not a gold digger. I thought he was just a friend helping out a friend in need. As for telling him that I was moving, he dropped the bomb that he was in love with me after I told him that. And for those who think that I shouldn't be hanging out with guys because I'm married, quit being so old fashioned. I hang with guys and my husband hangs with girls and we're fine with that.
2006-07-30 05:17:15 · update #1
You used him. And now you're paying the price.
2006-07-30 03:16:33 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The whole problem here is that you did let him pay for everything for you....you even accepted money from him! You didn't think he was doing this for his health, did you? You are actually the one to blame in this situation, but NOW is the time to tell your husband, along with an explanation of why you did what you did (because of you two being in debt). Let this man know that you are grateful for all he's done for you, but you no longer want to be friends or have any type of contact with him. Tell him if he continues you will file harassment charges. If he continues to stalk you and follow you wherever you go, get a restraining order against him. Be stern!! You have to make him realize you are dead serious!!! WHY in the hell did you tell him where you were moving to in the first place? You better get your head together before you open your mouth to him again!!!
2006-07-30 03:18:25 · answer #2 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just gotta tell him, there isnt really and easy way unless he feels the same which you have made clear he dosent, try hanging out with him less, and while you might need the money, try to not take it from him, that is probably giving him ideas, give him as little information as you can about your move, the departure date, exactly where in hawaii you will be, etc, lie to him if you have to, if you already told him this info then you can always tell him its changed for whatever reason, and if this is seriousely and issue for you and he does follow you i got 2 words for you: restraining order
2006-07-30 03:19:43 · answer #3 · answered by rachael01181990 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, if you value your marriage, you MUST break off all ties with this man. He is clearly exhibiting pre-stalker mentality. You may even need a lawyer if he demands payment for the money he gave you. He could come back and claim that they were loans. I don't know how vindictive this guy could get, but it's best to end it now, without delay, with professionalism and seriousness. Good luck.
2006-07-30 03:20:44 · answer #4 · answered by dante_cubit_3000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to not hurt his feelings if he already has invested them as well as time and financial etc. Just tell him your moving somewhere else and go on with your life...you may have to be mean to get him to leave you alone other wise i would take it legal and get a restraining order...friends don't scare or pressure so decide what he he is and do whats best for you and your husband.
Good luck
2006-07-30 03:19:19 · answer #5 · answered by Rain S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound like you led him on,took his money,and now that it's time to pay up you want out.See,ya get what ya pay for.Guess your no good at being a gold digger huh?Give him back his money and move,you had no right to hang out with another man in the first place.
2006-07-30 03:22:05 · answer #6 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When u r married and flirt about with another man, it means nothing than ready to be with him in all ways. blame yrself, not him.
2006-07-30 03:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by manalonedubai 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband know anything about this man?
2006-07-30 03:15:42 · answer #8 · answered by confused 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do ppl always want to tell someone something bad without thinkin they aint gonna hurt them, of course he gonna get his feelins hurt thats just life, u just gotta tell him
2006-07-30 03:16:32 · answer #9 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to really get "mean" to get the point across!!!
2006-07-30 03:18:32 · answer #10 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋