Other issues not withstanding; I love my wife and I want her to be happy and healthy. She is currently about 2mo pregnant and is having a pretty rough time. The docs say the baby is healthy and so is my wife but she has to stay in bed. See the main problem is I'm away right now on buisness and the absolute earliest I can leave w/out getting fired (which is bad) is the end of Aug; but I call everyday. She is currently in the hospital till the end of next week (just for observation) but I know she is still gonna be up and about untill I get home. She's got a few friends to help her but for the most part her family is very far away and my family is very far away. She does have everything she needs in the house so at least I'm not worried about that. What can I say to get her to listen without stressing her out which is bad for the baby and her?
2006-07-30 00:33:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Quite frankly, the best thing you can do is leave her alone and just be supportive. Contrary to popular belief, doctors don't know everything and I'm sure she knows her limitations, her own body and mind. What does 'having a pretty rough time' mean? Extreme morning sickness? Cramping? If she's healthy and the baby is doing fine, why force her to stay in bed? What's she eating? A healthy diet is important. If the family isn't nearby, I'd suggest getting hooked up with one of the yahoo pregnancy groups. Having pregnancy buddies, women who are due around the same time and talking with other women who've been there/done that, would be beneficial. Must be a first timer. Relax. Pregnancy is normal.
2006-07-30 03:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by auld mom 4 · 12⤊ 2⤋
You need to find someone to help her. You can't stay in bed all day without someone to help you out. You have to be brought food and many small things. Is there a TV near the bed? Does she have books to read? Is the toilet nearby? Can people take turns sitting with her and helping her and talking to her?
Other than that, ask her does she really want this baby. If she does then tell her that she needs to stay in bed. Tell her if she wants and loves the baby she will do her best to stay in bed. If not she really truly either doesn't want the baby or more likely doesn't realize the importance of staying still.
I assume she really only needs to stay still for one month. After that the pregnancy becomes more stable. Tell her that one month isn't a long time for a beautiful human life! (Neither is 9 months) If she doesn't stay still and loses the baby she will feel bad for a long time. One doesn't always get second chances in life.
I had a professor who had to stay in bed with her pregnancy and typed her book while she was in the bed! Another friend had to stay in bed the last month or two. But, her son who is now about 12 is a wonderful and brilliant person who spreads joy everywhere he goes. He's just energetic which is why he tried to come out early.
Maybe you need to explain that standing up creates a downward pressure on the uterus where the baby may fall out. Perhaps the idea of the baby falling out when you stand up is easier to grasp.
If all else fails, the idea of keeping her in the hospital until you get back might be a pretty good one!
I feel for you. I wish I could get pregnant. Pray. Don't forget to pray for your wife, the baby and to be given the right words. And, remember to finish with "may your will be done". There may be something that God knows which we don't.
2006-07-30 07:55:25 · answer #2 · answered by MURP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what Just relax a little right now your wife is going through the whole nesting process some go through it early, some the whole pregnancy, and some not till the end. It's just when us Pregnant women feel were invincible and we need to do everything we shouldn't be like Hardcore cleaning, lifting and moving of furniture that doesn't need to be lifted nor moved because we want everything to be ready for when baby comes and then some times will do it over again just because it isn't clean enough or it just doesn't look right and trust me you husbands can tell us everything but all it does is go in one ear and out the other because we all have a bit of pregnancy brain and feel we know whats best because were going to be mom's but you know what trying helping her with these things she's trying to do get really involved as soon as you come home cause I bet you, you'll see a difference in her if she is looking at baby stuff be interested (Even if You Not) and if there is something you know she is going to clean that she shouldn't be you do it before she can. Beat her to the Punch line pretty much but trust me it's just the whole Nesting Process it'll end soon enough
2006-07-30 09:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at this time she really needs you, or if that is impossible someone very close to give her support. If it is important for her to stay in bed and rest in order to keep the baby and she is very keen on having the baby, then perhaps a visit to the newborn nursery at the hospital might help... If you can look in and see those babies and discuss that she has a real baby just like them growing inside her which she will want to stay strong and healthy it may help her be more aware that there really is a new person inside her which depends on her to keep it healthy and get to full term?
It can be quite stressful even with a normal pregnacy for a new mother, wondering what to expect, not to mention all the hormones going crazy inside her, so she really needs good support in a big way and she will still need that support for at least 6 months after the birth.
2006-07-30 07:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by Jill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what problems she is having, but id the doc said bedrest, there is a reason for it. Alot of the time bedrest is so a woman doesn't go into preterm labor or miscarry. Maybe you or the doc can explain to her that if she doesn't do as told, it could be bad for the baby. May be that will knock some sense into her. If not, maybe talk to the doc and see if they can admit her until she gets past a certain point, that way she is watched 24/7.
2006-07-30 07:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by S_Mia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I completly understand your wife. When I was pregnant, I was on bed rest for my last 2 months, and I too was suppose to do nothing, and I too was stubborn. I think, it's just our wife brain that can't stop. We think we still have to clean and cook. And even though we know we should do nothing, it's very hard, especially because you're not feeling sick. I beleive you should tell your wife that you care for her and your baby and you just want what's best for both of them. Don't pressure her too much to do nothing, cause that will only piss her off. She probably knows that doing too much is not good for her or her baby, but remember she's pregnant and those hormones can be tricky. Best of luck with your pregnancy and your baby. Cherish the little moments, they grow up fast!! And tell your wife, I understand that it's hard too do nothing right now, but once she has that baby, she will probably wish she would've stayed in bed when she was pregnant, because once that baby comes, there's no more sleeping in!
2006-07-30 08:26:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that if she cares about herself, the baby, and you that she'll do what the doctor said. Seriously, why jeopardize the her health or the baby's health?
I love when men are present and want to be during the pregnancy, I'm going to be fighting my fiance on a lot of stuff (like walking down the stairs by myself or even working), but I will never ever go against what the doctor says...I'd be too afraid for the health of the baby.
Remind her that you love her though!
Sometimes as the husband, tough love is in order....
2006-07-30 07:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by littlerandiheather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple. Tell her if she wants to have a healthy baby, then she needs to follow the doctor's orders! The doctor knows more than her, and is only watching out for her health and the health of the baby! If that doesnt work, you can always "tattle" on her. I just dont understand why she would jepordize her or her baby's health!
2006-07-30 09:07:47 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that the doctor put her on bed-rest for a reason. there are some things that she "needs" to do around the house. but the reason doctors put women on bed-rest is for the safety of her and the baby. tell her it is mainly for the baby. is she doesn't, she could have a miscarriage or have the baby to early if she is working to hard.
2006-07-30 08:04:23 · answer #9 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this pregnancy is meant to be full term, there is nothing either one of you can do to interfere with it.
Let go of the outcome and just be supportive of your wife, you sound like a good guy.
2006-07-30 09:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by carole0103 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋