I love my wife who is pregnant but ever since we were dating I've had trouble with other women. Before I got married I was always with women, I'm just a fun guy to be around I guess. And I think I have a bit of a sex addiction or something. But after dating my now wife off and on for about 5yrs I asked her to marry me. But now that we are married everything is changing and not for the better. It's just really boring, the only excitement is the never ending arguments we have. I'm so tired of fighting with her. I was planning to get a divorce but then I found out she is pregnant. So now what do I do? I mean I do love her and I'm so excited to be a father but there are still the same problems. I'm compassionate, strong, funny, supportive, and romantic but my marrige is still so boring. The sex is ok but its always the same and she never wants to do anything new. And the worst part is all her friends constantly flirt with me and they are mostly mid 20's fine European girls. WTF should I do
2006-07-29 23:51:54 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To clarify, I have not cheated on her. She is 2mo pregnant. As far as the sex it has always been frequent but it has also been somewhat boring (and I do ensure that she is satisfied "every" time. I'm a good husband; I never mistreat her but I honestly don't think she knows just how hard it is to be a good husband. I don't want a divorce but I'm so tired of fighting for the past 2yrs of our marrige.
2006-07-30 00:09:48 · update #1
Wow! Tell her how you feel. EVERYTHING! Hey the worst that could happen is a divorce which you kinda want anyways and the best that could happen is that she actually sees where you are coming from and changes. It is a win-win.
2006-07-29 23:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 14⤊ 4⤋
First question - did you truly mean what you said when you said your vows?
Cheating on her and divorcing her while she is pregnant is about the lowest thing any man can do to a woman besides physically harming her. She needs your support more than ever during her pregnancy and when your baby is born. How can you sleep with her and then want to leave just because sex is boring for a few months? How much love for her as a person do you really have?
I would suggest sitting down and honestly discussing with her your feelings about how your marriage is going. Tell her that you love her but you are tired of fighting, and you are getting restless. Try to see this as a problem for both of you, don't think only about how it affects you. It is normal for this to happen during a pregnancy. But if you truly love her then you will wait it out and put her needs first instead of your own sexual needs for a while.
If you are bound and determined to experiment with other women, than at least tell your wife this first, and separate before you go out and cheat. Make the divorce proceedings as painless as possible, and be reasonable when it comes to visitation and child support. You must know that this would be extremely devestating for her if you do this, no matter how 'nice' you are about it. Haven't you ever heard of post partum depression?
Part of life is accepting the bad with the good, and learning a little self control.
If you were so interested in all of her fine friends, then why did you get married in the first place?
2006-07-30 00:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by kikisdragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I think is that you weren't ready to get married. With your history about going out and women etc that means you like your freedom. I think no child is to be in a household were the parents are always fighting, I guess you can have time apart but if you cheat on her you are not a man. You still a teenager, and do not know the meaning of commitment. Remember...in good times and in bad??don't ever forget that, don't be selfish talk to her even if she is pregnant be honest, you can always go to counseling together that might help. That is if you REALLY love her and want a family. Do not cheat on her! Because if you do then the marriage is doom and over, but if you wan to loose a family just to fulfill your needs then go ahead and loose everything I assure you that you will be so empty you will regret it.
Good luck and think before you act.
PS we can change if we really want to, but only because you respect yourself and want to become a better person.
2006-07-30 01:15:15 · answer #3 · answered by YO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i come across this situation alot, Your finding it hard to live with ur wife, don't stray this will only cloud the problem more, your gunna find that nomatter who u go with ur probably gunna have the same difficulties down the line, the grass is hardly ever greener. You need all the excitement, marriage is exciteing, you should introduce her to new things, not necissarily sexual, you just need a new routine, you need to stay the hell away from her friends, they shouldn't be flirting with u in the first place but girls can't help it. The best thing to do is remind ur wife of all the fun u use to have, and suprise her, do something u wouldn't normally do and persuade her to follow. Remember u love this woman and if u know what it feels like when the one u love is sleeping with someone else then i think u know it's not a good idea to stray.
2006-07-30 00:06:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what marriage counseling is all about. What you're experiencing is normal. Cheating on your wife will not make things better (been there, done that, not good). Counseling might help. Sex counseling, too. I got some really great ideas from a sex counselor once. You can go on your own, if she won't go, but it's better if you go together.
You can't just ignore this. Be brave and get some help or you'll be even more miserable as a parent with even less intimate time for each other. Counseling can help.
2006-07-30 00:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Juliette S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're stuck now, bud. You dated her "off and on"? Hmmm. So what did you love so much about her that you decided to marry her? Her wonderful personality, her warm heart, her sense of humor? It doesn't sound like you're very into this marriage. I think that women who change their whole personalities after they get married are huge phony B***HES and men who fall for them are suckers. They both give the supposedly "sacred" vows of marriage a bad name. So you were thinking about divorce and she got knocked up. Hmmm. Do you talk in your sleep? to her friends? You're fighting all the time? That's always fun :{ Then there's your mismatched sex drives.... You could try marriage counseling but it doesn't look good to me. The tough one is your child. You've just given her a big stick to beat you up with if she's one of those "I'm a b***h and proud of it" types. So you can go for the divorce and have to fight to see your kid and pay her 25% of your income for the next 18 years (or longer :( and have everyone in civilized society will think you're a HUGE jerk. Or you can suck it up and create your own little private life - with some one your wife doesn't know. Next time . . . WRAP IT!!!
PS
She could be particularly b***hy because of pregancy hormones
2006-07-30 00:18:08 · answer #6 · answered by R. F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better get a grip of what is right and wrong. From what you are telling me here, you were NEVER really ready for marriage. You seem to be experimenter type, if someone bores you down the line, you want to quit and move on. Have a talk with your wife, and see how she feels. If you do divorce, a word of advice, don't get married again until you are morally responsible.
2006-07-29 23:59:17 · answer #7 · answered by WC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion would be seeing a marriage counselor like some of the others had posted. But do not cheat on her. If you are not happy you should leave. Staying with her and cheating on the side will cause more fighting in the long run and you do not want your brand new baby living life with parents that cant get along. And leave her friends alone she is going to need all the friends she has to help her once you are gone. Please be a part of the baby's life. Its not his/her fault you and your wife cant get along. I wish you all the best of luck with your decision.
2006-07-30 00:10:06 · answer #8 · answered by smooches986 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure Many a lot of human beings have lengthy previous onto a contented existence after divorce their is existence after divorce at the same time as and in case you get divorced out of your modern husband i wish you're taking a lengthy time period sorting out about previously you remarry back. maximum second marriages have a lot less then a sixty 5% of sauces price the first marriage have about a 50-50 price of fulfillment..and After the 0.33 marriage..a lot less then even 70% risk so that you spot the percentages are adversarial to you yet you probable recognize this i'm on my 0.33 marriage and this marriage has lasted 28 years this July 12 (and then that is under no circumstances uncomplicated regardless of sturdiness of 28 years) Pray that God can grant enlightenment on how you could attend on your modern quandary
2016-11-26 23:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by drinkwater 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to stop thinking that you are so great and she is a bore,if you are bored in your marriage and if shes responsible for it ,then i guess you have a equal part to play in it!!
how can you be so insensitive to think of leaving your wife cos you are bored and you want more.basically your problem is you want different women,and its gonna be same always for you,you'll always find your self bored with whoever you are b/c you be with people for funa dn when the fun is over you get bored b/c you yourself are no innovative enough to kee the fire going or maybe b/c as i said earlier you need different women..........but till when can this go on,ask yourself?
be a little wise and try to make it work,if there are arguments get to the base of it and finish it,everybody has arguments and well,thats not the reason to divorce....arguments occur due to diffrence of opinion so try to adjust and make things work,if you keep dumping people like thif for fun and entertainment,a day is not far when you'll find your self in a helpless situtaion so just grow up!!
2006-07-30 00:00:53 · answer #10 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect your wife fantacizes that she married a guy who understood the meaning of commitment who would exercise self-discipline and be a great example for their children. Why don't you make it clear to the young flirts that your wife is your one and only. The real source of your arguments is probably a result of the tension you're creating. I wonder how sexy you would feel if you were pregnant and your wife was distracted by young studs. Try acting like the man she thought she married. Good luck!
P.S. Look who is giving advice (without mentioning your wife!): http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnyamKa1X9u4lAXhBj3TyNfsy6IX?qid=20060730033949AAHTogW
2006-07-30 00:06:31 · answer #11 · answered by love2travel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋