i just got hold of my husbands cellphone and I read one message which really caught my attention.it was a sweet text and i immediately called who's behind this sweety text.it was a girl and she and my husband are seeing each other.i caught him right there and then.he still keeps on denying it that he doesn't know who the girl was.My question is what kind of approach will I do to talk to my husband so, he won't be denying his stupid actions behind my back.Please help me.
2006-07-29 23:33:59 · 17 answers · asked by bakakon_ka 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men tend to be defensive when being asked/interrogated. They would, by nature, lie to look good & not jeopardize the situation further. They do not wish to stir trouble. They do not like to talk about problems. Their way of handling problems is not to talk about it at all unless there's solutions to it. They will simply ignore it and move on to other things to relieve the pressures/stress.
He didn't want to hurt you so he didn't want to talk about it. But yet, he's been out with this gal. He's confused himself. Is he terrified of you that he has to seek another to feel less stressed? Sometimes, it's not he who wants to find another girl. It could be the wife is driving him away to find another without even knowing. Maybe, he yearns for sweetness & loving care that he's deprived of. Maybe, he needs space. Maybe, he's just unfaithful. There are many reasons that lead to his "wrongdoing". But bear in mind, it may not be entirely his fault. It could be her, or you.
Be cool, be calm about it. It's not a rosy situation at all. Delicate & fragile area here. He ain't that happy himself. Neither do you. When he's out of his solitude & available to talk, talk to him about it nicely. Handle it well. Get your emotional support system ready, if required.
About solitude:
Men are like "rubberbands". They need to stretch out to be in their space & solitude to tune up themselves & recharge their batteries. Men do one thing at a time due to their hunting nature by default. It could be pc surfing, tv watching, newspaper reading etc. Any intrusion into their solitude makes them defensive/irritable/frustrated... and they say/do nasty things which are not meant to be as they're in the process of recharging. The wife will have to respect his space and wait fot him to spring back from solitude with more bounce, power & strength for himself & for her.
2006-07-29 23:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by Queenie Tay 3 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Oh just relax -seems like your husband is just somewhat insecure and thinks you might have someone else. By age he is now 47 and you are 34. Do you both talk to each other on a normal basis instead of fighting each other? If so, why don't you take the time and have a real good conversation to explain what you think and feel about your relationship to him. Having a good conversation without fighting has always solved a lot of problems and a lot of people in relationships chose not to or don't know how to lead the conversation in a level of explanation rather than drifting into a fight. Have a nice dinner with your husband or go somewhere for the weekend and talk to him, that will give you and him the opportunity to say what you both have to say
2016-03-27 06:57:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a typical nature of each and every man that he likes gals even he is married, but it should not become a obsession. U must spend a quality time with ur husband. Try to seduce him often so that no body could enter his mind. Most imp. don't doubt on him just ask simply if has some other affair and watch the reaction.
2006-07-29 23:41:07 · answer #3 · answered by sms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I told my husband from the get go..I catch you cheating..I walk out..no ifs and or buts and I mean it..if he cheats then he has no respect for you and apparently dont wish to be with you anyway..why waste the time going thru all the big BS over it? Leave Him..once a cheat..always a cheat, will you ever trust him again? I wouldnt and whats a marriage without trust? NOTHING
2006-07-29 23:58:08 · answer #4 · answered by Diana G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to meet you at a park, or coffee shop. Ask the mistress to meet you there 15 minutes earlier than him. Use some sob story guise to convince her. You will all be in the same place at the same time...no deniles will be acceptable anymore. Then it is left up to you and your husband to decide the fate of your marriage.
2006-07-29 23:41:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,i guess let him know very firmly that you are awre of whats happening behind your back and you are no fool!!
have a serious chat about this,decide for yourself whether you can trust him any further,b/c trust is the foundation of every relationship.if trust starts shaking then sweetie its a warning you need to reconsider your marriage!!
2006-07-30 00:07:10 · answer #6 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hire a PI.
With the evidence he won't be able to deny. Then you decide to leave him or forgive him.
2006-07-30 05:29:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to approach him at the door with his clothes packed and the locks changed.
2006-07-30 00:22:33 · answer #8 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him straight out you know what i found a sweet text message on your cell and spoke to the girl that you are messing with so stop playing games and tell me why you did it
2006-07-29 23:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So...your husband is a liar and a cheat. Leave.
2006-07-30 05:48:49 · answer #10 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋