How can I help her save herself?

Question

Okay... here goes. A friend of mine is suicidal or something, but not to the point where she has actually succeeded. She's been cutting for at least a year, she's gotten herself sent to the ER at least twice for it, and been to the psych ward 4 times AT LEAST. She was put into a foster home finally, but apparently that only helped so much. Her mother is an absolute *****, if you'll please excuse my language. Alcoholic, degrading. How can I get it through my friend's blockhead skull that she's human, to stop cutting, and to actually reach out to her friends? We've told her a thousand times that if she ever needs to talk to someone, anytime, we're there, but she's never called us until it's too late. I almost had a heart attack because someone said she had died in an accident, and unless its her mom saying it, I'm inclined to believe it. The reason: her mother pulled the stunt once. Heavy subject, but can anybody help us out? Any help/advice is greatly appreciated.

She has had a professional shrink for a few months now. It hasn't helped.

When she got sent to the foster home, after about a month and a half, i found out that she was in the psych ward. We thought getting her away from her mother would do the trick, but it hasn't! oh, and she's definitely not Christian/Catholic

Answer 1

Wow....that's a tough question!

I'd say that you should be less passive about the role you've taken with your friend. You're a GOOD friend, but I think you, and perhaps this person's other friends are letting it up to her to call, or reach out, when in fact I think you, and they (her other friends) should be doing this at this point.

Here's why I say this:

Your friend obviously is in trouble, and she's clearly trying to get attention. She's getting it, but only a far as someone saying; "hey, if you need me....I'll be over here".

See what I mean? You're available, but it's up to her to make the moves. People in that mindset don't regard that as genuine I don't think. I don't think I would if I were in her place.

I think you should spend a LOT of time with her; doing whatever. Just hanging out. Call her, send her email, TMs (text messages), online chat. Try and get some others involved in this, and *show* her you're there for her, don't just say it.

I know you're doing a LOT already, but when someone gets into this 'I don't seem to matter' mode, then ANY little thing can be taken the wrong way and the self pity takes over and convinces them that even the most innocent of actions on the part of someone else to help is insincere.

Is this making any sense?

I'm just saying....if you have chosen to get involved in this, you need to go all the way with it. She's hurting, probably, for a number of reasons. Things you may not even know about. Things pile up in situations like this, in a person's mind making the load heavier and heavier. She's being hurt by the very one she needs all this attention from....her lousy mother.

You probably can't change the mom (unfortunately), but you can be there for your friend. Hopefully you can get others to help you....to give you a little bit of a break, but you've taken on a big load, but it shows what kind of good person *you* are.

I wish you well on this...you are a good and faithful servant to the Lord, whether you know it or not. And what you're doing is for His glory. He's obviously placed you here for a reason.

Just thought I'd throw that little seed out there.

:)

Answer 2

It sounds to me like she has a very good friend, don't give up on her. Just try to guide her, without lecturing her. When it's all said and done, she has to be the one to seek help. You can look into it and be knowledgeable as to what her choices are. Maybe once she realizes that you truly are her friend she will want some help. Don't hold yourself responsible, whatever you do. Pray for her.

Answer 3

hey as this is one serious issue,, u shld think of all possible ways...
1st of all u shld get to kno all her probs in life....cuz jus 1 problem will neva get a person so dum......2nd she need a hell lot od councelling,,,may be a priest will do......who can stuff into her head that suicide is a crime to themself.......so that she stop thinking of it. convince her wid some 1 as an example in life, who had oer come problems...i think she is undergoin depression and she shnt neva b left alone.... if u can sit wid for hrs (even if she doesnt talk to u)slience doesnt matter,, but after some hrs she ll speak up somthing or the other,,,,,,,,seriously.....
a professional councellin ll surly help u.....
keep in touch

Answer 4

it's too late, but still there is light......don't waist another moment...GO TO A VERY GOOD DOC. if u really wanna get her back keep her away from her mother....mind it what's she doing is only to punish her mother...EMOTIONALLY....why don't u take her to an outing or a long drive.let her see the actual motherhood.take her to Ur home and keep her in touch of Ur loving mother...DON'T LET HER STAY ALONE.
what u can do /-----watch good funny movies with her----listen various kind of songs and dance with her.------and let her understand that hurting urself to punish else one,it's no worth.
tell her to make new frnds online....keep her busy with books.
I'VE ANOTHER IDEA......GIVE HER SOME CYBER GAMES TO PLAY IN HER P.C. here is some names of such games...WOLFENSTEIN, MAX PAYNE, PROJECT IGI ETC [trust me, it'll definitely help....they can keep her busy for hours]

Answer 5

I agree with David. This girls life is crying out for the all powerful, all knowing Savior, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Seek him and she can be helped.

Answer 6

A friend who says she's "suicidal or something" shouldn't be waging an intervention. Your friend needs professional help.

Answer 7

please contact me-my 360 -and i have helped many not to hurt themselves-one thing i do is give em hope in Jesus and another say-if you hurt yourself everyone that likes you will be sad-and all that dont will be glad -do u want that?-she needs hope -and only Jesus can give the truest hope!

Answer 8

i dont now how old she is but i think you should talk to a cop maybe he can get her some help

Answer 9

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hazem