Feeling self-conscious?

Question

I'm a 13 yr old girl and I get very self-conscious and embarassed when someone talks to me or someone else about something relating to puberty. Like this morning, when i went downstairs breifly in just my pj bottoms because I was supper hot last night, and my Grandad was coming over to pick my brother up to take him to football when my mum said go and put a dressing gown on and I asked why and she said because I was growing up and I turned bright red and went straight up stairs and didn't come down for half an hour and I pretty much missed the 20 minutes of when my Grandad was here. I'm completly flat chested so it's not like it's a major horror and I feel very calm and relaxed around my Grandad in any situation. It's now been 1 hour since my mum told me to go upstairs so it's just me and my mum in the house and i havn't spoken for 1 hour. I still feel really shy, embarassed and dizzy. I can't go on living like this and I'm way to shy to talk to my mum about it and I feel so depressed.

Answer 1

Hello there.
It is ok, really. All of us go through periods of intense self-consciousness and embarrassment. And a lot of people's comments of ourselves may sound untrue, and i can say, very insensitive or unaware of our feelings.
Perhaps do not look at it personally - your mom may only have meant good, to be presentable around the house, when people are coming over. But get a moment when your mom is free in the house and relaxed, and tell her how you feel. Definitely, go down now. Have something to eat, just chat about things in general and enjoy this sunday morning.
It's ok to be feeling how you're feeling - like your feelings aren't being taken into account. Give yourself a chance not to be too overwhelmed by it, because often, the feeling will pass. We're all growing up, remember, and everyone passes through that stage. Even your mom would have been 13 once, and had similar incidents happen to her. Forgive her, and enjoy your day.

Answer 2

DO your parents have this too because sometimes its learnt through environment ,if your parents are supper uptight about there sexuality it can become a problem for the kids of those kind of parents, i don't see why your grandad cant see you in pj's its normal its not like you were showing off all your belly etc like some young girls are ,they think they are on TV the way they dress,sounds like your mum is shoving her issues on to you,this phase in your development will pass and i hope you feel more comfortable and confident in yourself .

Answer 3

You are becoming a young woman. When i was your age i was completely flat chested too, and couldnt wait to wear bras etc. But since your at that age now i dont think you should wear nothing on top now, people may get the wrong idea. Ask your mum to go shopping for ting bras to introduce you into them. Good luck sweetie

Answer 4

I know its difficult not to feel embarassed but if you mum says anything like this again say, 'thanks mum - I can't wait to become a woman like you' and then say 'when am I going to get my period' - just say it and she will be a little embarrassed too but it will help you to get things out in the open. Every teenager goes through the same thing so rest assured you are not the only embarrassed teenager in the world.

Answer 5

Please dont be so worried, its a natural process and there is no way you can avoid it, your mum knows this and at 13, it wont be long before your body does start changing, your thought processes will change too and your mum will be ready to answer your questions,, she's your mum, trust her, she wont make fun of you.
good luck

Answer 6

oh i remember this one when we were on holiday i wanted to take my top of and be like my dad but my mum wouldn't let me yeah its embarrassing it is when your going through the change all i can say is go down to your mum say mum i want to talk you may go red and scared but remember your mums been through ll this before and tell her how you feeling don't worry Hun your totally going through what we all Lady's had too its scary but after you be fine

Answer 7

dont worry youll grow out of it......i went through it and i still sometimes do when my mum and dad talk about sex and am 17.....but am ok with my boyfriend......why dont you talk to a good friend about it cause they might feel the same way?? they most likely do.....good luck take care and email if more probs [e-mail]

Answer 8

if you have prolem to talk to your mom about this, try talk to your grandma, if you feel embarassed about it, talk to teacher who you trust, you can talk to teacher or ask her to contact you with psychologist (usally every school has one) and you can talk to specialist about this problem, as growing up is very important, you can tell psychologist that you can not talk about his with your mother, so she will be able to send your mother to some specialist who will tell her how to talk to you, it is very important that parents have good contact with their kids when it comes to puberty,
if your mom didnt talk to you about sex life, etc, than you surely should see specialist, as it means that your mom is not open with you,
if she is free to talk to you about it than you surely need specialist at it is important to have good contact with mom (as you gonna live with her for another 5 years or so)
.

reason why your mom wants you to put top on is coz she wants you to cover it so in future you wont be underessing to every guys etc. but for sure there is nothing bad about nekedness,

but most mom do all to make sure their kids dont do such things and dont think about sex etc.

do not let your mom make you feel shy or ashamed of your body.

Answer 9

well it is part of growing up my dear. But i suggest follow your Mom... it is for your own good. Your mom is just training you and prepare you for adulthood.

Answer 10

smoke some weed, buy a new dress, do ur hair and make-up then go out and get laid, as for ur daughter, buy her a cotton candy ... shoot!!! it always worked for my grandma