Should I dump my girl of two years?

Question

We got in a fight this morning, I wanted to talk it out, she tried to leave like she always does to avoid talking about it, So i held the door shut. She got even angrier, and started slapping me, and kicked me in the face, I was angry and yelled at her, but did not hit her, she called 911 and said i was attacking her. the sherrifs got there and interveiwed both of us, and ended up taking her to jail. I didnt want that for her, in fact it hurt me very much to see them take her off in handcuffs. I went and picked her up when she could be released and even used some of my money to bail her out, I dropped her off at her son's house. I care for her and love her, but I think she is going thrugh menopause, and has really been treating me awfully lately, I cant take it any more and want her to move out, Not cause I hate her, but for my own sanity, and because I am tired of fighting with her. I know I treat her better than anyone she has been with, and her son told me that too, what do u think?

here's an update,while she was at work, I packed up all her stuff and took it to her son's house. He has an extra room and said it was o.k. for her to stay there. I was carefull with her stuff, and didnt just throw it in the room or anything ( I think a lot of guys would have changed the locks and threw her stuff away.) She has been there for a couple of days, and I think she is sorry for what happened, but I'm gonna leave her there for a while, until I can think about this. Im sure that the seperation will be good for us. She is not accepting much of the blame, yet tho, but that doesnt surprize me, she is pretty selfish and self absorbed a lot of the time. so I am just going to wait and see what happens, How does that sound?

Answer 1

If you are asking the question then you are probably knowing the answer.
If you want to try and resolve it... ask her to get relationship counseling. If this doesn't work then say your concerns and ask her to respect your discussion.
Good Luck!!

Answer 2

I am not only concerned for you, but also for her son. It seems that she has an impulse control problem and has some anger management issues. It sounds like you want to be rational and talk things through but she decides that she is going to shut down and not talk about it. She sounds like she has some communication problems. In my personal experience, I feel that abusive behavior of any kind is a deal breaker. If the only way she can deal with her feelings is by either becoming violent or shutting down, that does not bode well for long-term success. She has a son also and I am worried that she is setting a bad example for him in how relationships are supposed to be like. I hope she isn't treating him this way. It sounds like you both need counseling to work this out. She has had a rough past and is probably used to being with people who reinforce her current low self-esteem. You cannot save her from herself and that is too much to ask of you anyway. At least be a friend and support her but she is the one that needs to seek help and make a change. I'm sure that you love her but she has personal problems that go beyond what you could possibly give at this time. Good luck to you and know that you have support out here in Yahoo! Answers!!

Answer 3

Sweetie. Reread your question. Tell her that you love her, but
you think the relationship is waaay too volitile. It'll never work.
Have her move out. Tell her you want at least 2 months to think
about it. That this has nothing to do with another girl. You need
some time to sort out your thoughts. At the end of 2 months,
you may call and say hi, see how things are going. Go from there.

Now. Here's the real deal. Hitting, punching, kicking in the face
is extreme. Any type of violence is a DEAL-BREAKER. Game
over/Tilt. Where does she get off thinking it's acceptable to lay
a hand on you in anger? She has definite problems and you don't
need this. Marital counselling won't work in this case.

Let her go and find someone more deserving of you. Someone
that you look forward to spending time with. Give your heart time
to heal. - But, know that you'll be soooooo much better off.

Run like the wind!

Answer 4

I think that you have probably done everything you possibly could to save your relationship. But when it comes down to it, you have every right to want to be happy. Have you tried discussing with her how you feel about how she is treating you? I feel awful that she hit you, no one ever deserves to be treated that way. If I were you, I would definitely take some time away from her to figure out how you feel, and so she could do the same. It's a really great thing that you've treated her better than anyone ever has, but you deserve to be treated equally, and not used as her punching bag. Good luck to you, I truly hope that everything works out ok for you.

Answer 5

You have NO reason to take that kind of crap from her! Don't sacrifice the quality of your life out of a sense of obligation to her. Especially if she's violent! If leaving her will make you happier, then give her the heave-ho. There's no law saying that you can't cut your losses in a bad relationship and save yourself from a ton of headaches and hassles.

It's gratifying to hear that the cops didn't blindly believe her rantings about you hitting her when you weren't, and that they hauled her off as she deserved. Personally I wouldn't have bailed her out after an episode like that...but that's me.

Expect more screaming and more physical violence from her when you tell her that you're through putting up with her. Following that will be crying and her begging you to reconsider, accompanied with a lot of guilt trips designed to make you feel like an asshole (even though she's the one who drove you away). Remind her that you gave her better treatment than anyone else, but it apparently wasn't good enough for her.

Answer 6

If you love her that might be a real reality check for her. Be sure that you say just what you said. You love her, but aren't willing to continue in a relationship that is full of fighting. Tell her that she has a choice, knock it off or hit the road. If you are the best thing for her she willbe back and at that point you may decide she was or wasnt the best thing for you.

Answer 7

I think she is going through a crisis in her life, and needs to seek professional help, be it a counselor or a psychiatrist, and try ironing out her anger management issues, and possibly her resentment towards men.

It could take long, and it most likely will be a hurtful and bumpy ride. She has to walk this path sooner or later. The question is if you want to walk it with her. And that is a question only you can answer.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Well take her to the doctors she could have an mental problem which the doctor could help. But if you love her give her sometime, be honest with her to her face, telling her if this stuff doesn't sort out you'll be leaving as you can't stand it. She may be understanding and do anything to keep you. If she doesn't than the relationship isn't worth it.

Answer 9

Dump her..for the best of both of you..Fighting also end up with hurting.and that I understand. she loves you that way or more that way thats why she is hurting you. But is it reasonable to hurt you? or no reasons at all? Just tell her the truth, if you dont have the feeling anymore. Then seperate nicely. Give her some time, okay?!

Answer 10

Anytime there is physical violence in a relationship I say GET OUT QUICK!!!! Nomatter if it was you or her or both, it is obviously not healthy and has already caused some major pain. Tell her to get help and see her female doctor too. You can care and try to be compassionate, but my advice would be to have it end as soon as possible.

Answer 11

I think that situation sucks...... if you talk it out go for it, but if your sick of the relationship than you have no strength to try, if you love her and she is going through hard times be there for her.. but you need to find out the root of the problem.....But once the police get involved it can get ikky......... so go somewhere you both can sit down and have a nice meal or something... you dont want to end up introuble yourself..... good luck!