2006-07-29 21:37:42 · 16 answers · asked by evilcharm1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
a daughter from a previous relationship that he had...not your own...wtf.
2006-07-29 21:40:59 · update #1
and no, it's not a common name.
2006-07-29 21:47:42 · update #2
Don't freak out. It could be that he was just thinking about her (in an abstract, "oh i need to call her sometime" kind of way), and he just yelled it out kind of randomly. I'm not saying this is the most likely thing, but it certainly COULD be true. In times of passion, people tend to say crazy things. Things aren't always what they seem. It could've been something subconscious, like he felt he was performing well or not so well in bed, and if he was doing a good job, maybe his daughter thinks he sucks, and he was thinking, subconsciously, "See! I'm awesome!" or something random like that. I once had a sexual dream about an uncle of mine, and it totally freaked me out (I was a teenager). I thought about it, and I had been feeling like my family (in general) didn't accept me for who I am, and I had recently had a good sexualish experience, so I think my brain just connected the two into one big picture where I was doing something I was good at (kissing) and my family (represented by my uncle) appreciated me. It sounds nutty, but trust me, I don't have feelings for my uncle! ;)
Talk to your guy frankly, in a non-accusing way, and ask him to be honest with you. If you really want to know and feel that you can keep your word on this, tell him you won't freak out as long as he's honest about what it meant. If he says it meant nothing, ask him if he's *sure*, because if it did mean something, he could talk to a professional (who would keep it confidential), and if he has a fetish for family members, he'd feel a lot better seeing a shrink and getting it dealt with. Even if his saying it DID mean something, those things can be taken care of by good psychotherapy, and often, fetishes have nothing to do with the object (anal penetration or spanking or whatever), but more to do with a deeply rooted emotion of some kind. If he hasn't actually had sex with his daughter, obviously he doesn't actively *want* to- otherwise he would have, right?
If your man says it *did* mean something, tell him it disturbs you and makes you upset, but that he needs to see a shrink, and the two of you can try to work through it. Again, if he hasn't had sex with her, it's just a fantasy, and if your man has emotional issues, bizzare thoughts are triggered by that; he might not be able to help it. And if he hasn't acted on them, he's fine and sane but just needs to get some help. Again, his saying her name does NOT mean he wants her sexually. It's probably a signal of some other psychological thing, or something subconscious dealing with how he feels about something.
Be open! Make sure he'll be honest by being understanding. If you've already blown up about it, go back to him and say you want to be open with him, and you won't freak out if he has desires for her (you may be mad and upset, but you'll stick it out). Your man obviously wants you, otherwise he wouldn't have been in bed with you (mean make exscuses, too, when they don't want it). He probably loves you and either a) it was totally random, and meant nothing or b) he just has an issue, which doesn't reflect on you.
Also, I might check his computer for child porn if he tells you it was no big deal. Just incase. And don't let him find out.
2006-07-29 22:05:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I smell trouble. I would try to hide the shock, pretend I did not even hear him that is for starters.
It could have been a mistake, could have been a deep fantasy but he would never act upon it and it surely can be a prelude for bad things to come.
By pretending you did not hear it, you are in a position to make a lot of research before reaching a solid conclusion. You can now sit back and observe his attitude towards your daughter, the way he looks at her etc.
The question is do you really feel he is a threat to her? once you reach the conclusion, that should be the focal point of your next action.
2006-07-29 21:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by fozio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, how common is the name? Does it have to be his daughter, or just someone else with the same name? Either way, I'd be really creeped out and get out of there as soon as possible. And if you think there's a chance he's messing with his daughter sexually, report his *** to the police.
2006-07-29 21:44:23 · answer #3 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly i dont know if her name is not common? i would freak and kinda get sick feeling and probably go a professional therapist and see what the response to ur quest would be to address this with the bf?
I could only imagine his reply to u after it was said.///
2006-07-29 23:45:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
**** he is thinking of his own daugther while having sex with you , that its not normal, maybe he wants his daughter like a woman , he is a sick person , I hope he didnot do anything to his daughter.
2006-07-29 21:56:28 · answer #5 · answered by Dayan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why his daughter would be at the forefront of his mind during sex and then break up with him.
But you need to ask him why. And then tell me.
2006-07-29 22:07:48 · answer #6 · answered by omsuperhoops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hold on here. if the name is common like diane or mary, thats kinda different (still bad though) but if its rare like danica or something that you never hear then that is way morraly wrong. just a thought.
2006-07-29 21:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by teddybar67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get the hell out of the house.but first ask him why? then tell him dont let the door hit you in the *** on your way out
2006-07-29 21:42:14 · answer #8 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope he not having sex with her
2006-07-29 21:43:40 · answer #9 · answered by powernewfie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd break up with him right after. That's very disturbing.
2006-07-29 21:41:17 · answer #10 · answered by lindakb24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋