My husband doesn't turn me on any more (sorry husband!) so what can I do?

Question

I have tried talking to him but he just dosent care

Answer 1

i have been there first try imagining someone else if that doesnt work try a third party . think of the things he used to do too turn u on make urself wet before u get in bed or get urself off first than the rest just doesnt really matter anymore. new positions get books

Answer 2

There are steps you can take to actually build a strong, stable marriage and avoid divorce. Read here https://tr.im/fNInE

Here are some key steps to apply to your marriage:

- Start by understanding and being informed.

You can never be too informed about tools, methods and studies about building successful marriages. Understand the risk factors like your age and maturity at marriage can determine how successful it will be, the anatomy of an affair and what you can do after infidelity. Understand the success factors like the personal and psychological circumstances that will influence your marriage, what are the tools and approaches available to you in dealing with conflict, and numerous other relevant data. All this information is readily available to you whether through self-help material, through a counselor, support group or other venues. In fact, we have made it our commitment to provide these to you in different formats to help you make the best marriage you can.

The thing is, remember, this is information is not available for you to begin hyper-psychoanalyzing your relationship, yourself and your partner. It's not a matter of spewing trivia for the sake of conversation ' information is there for you to ponder over and internalize to help you transform yourself and your marriage. That includes maturing to such a point that you become more competent in your knowledge but more prudent in approach.

Answer 3

Try initiating something with him, it's nice to feel wanted. Perhaps his confidence is down, he may have things on his mind. When did you last wrap yourself up in lacy lingerie, like a birthday present for him? It's a two-way street, maybe he doesn't see the vital young girl he married. What tone did you take when you told him he didn't cut it anymore? See, there's no real easy way to put that, is there? He's a human being, and the one you're supposeed to care about more than any other.

Answer 4

If you have tried talking to him and he really does not care. Tell him if he is not interested in sorting out the problem, you will go and find someone who does turn you on. Life is too short to be stuck in a boring marriage. If you still love him though, that is a different story. Then I would suggest that you ask him to try councelling to save the marriage, if he is not interested in that, cut your loses and move on.

Answer 5

I understand completely how you are feeling cos i've been through just that!!

You have to decide how important sex is to you and whether u are happy more than you're not, if your not then there is only one thing to do and thats be true to yourself.

I did and although it is tough (was with my husband for 14 years) it was the right thing to do. I'm loving the single life now!!

Good Luck hun xx

Answer 6

Maybe you dont turn on your husband anymore,maybe you both should try a three-some or something to that afect , if your marriage is still inportand to the both of you ,then one would think that both of you would at lease talk about it. or maybe your just in a runt,need a break . Nothing wrong with that.

Answer 7

if he doesn't turn you on any more and he doesn't care or want to try to help the problem....well you only got like 3 options....
you can just deal with it and become a pro at self satisfaction. or you can go out and look for some other goodness, and lastly (hopefully there's no kids involved) you can get a divorce, and go out and get it with out getting caught. that would be my course of action, and I'm a guy! ^_~

Answer 8

Just to be fair, do you turn him on? If both of you want to keep the relationship on, please turn each other on. Don't be a turn-off. You turn him on, he turns you on. And it keeps going on. Read up, if both of you have to. Try out different ways, if you have to. It takes two to work.

Remember that all men need their personal space & freedom to recharge themselves. If women were to intrude, they'll get nasty/negative answers which men don't mean to express as they're still in the process of recharging their batteries. And it will take even longer for them to recharge before they come out of their solitude.

Once they're out of their solitude, their batteries recharged, they're available for you to talk, to do almost anything he's willing to do. So, please check his "availability" meter before asking him your concerns. You may get more favourable replies & have important & more meaningful discussions with him.

Tell him you love him. And discuss with him if he still loves you & treasure the relationship. He may feel irritable that you're not feeling his love or felt he's a failure not fulfilling your needs. So, it's normal for him to be upset & say he doesn't care so as not to feel worse about himself after all he has done for the relationship. Tell him this relationship matters to you & you appreciate all he's done. Turn on the fire in him, tell him you admire him/adore/appreciate him. He'll in return turn the fire in you, love you & cherish you. You'll be turned-on. It will go on and on.

It's a matter of understanding the differences between men & woemn & make the best out of it. Do read up books (e.g. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus; Why Men don't have a clue & Women need more shoes; Why Men do't listen & Women can't read maps; Why Men lie & Women Cry" to maximize the potential of your relationship with him, or any man you've in mind should you ever leave him.

Answer 9

Sounds like your marriage is grinding to a halt!! If you're not attracted to your husband and you can't communicate with him then what do you have left?

Try talking to him again, perhaps suggest therapy - and if none of that works, then maybe it's time to move on....

Good Luck!

Aloha!

Answer 10

If he cant turn you on and doesnt care about it, just dump him. A normal man would move heaven and earth to see that sex was enjoyable for you too; if he doesnt, he isnt worth wasting a question on. Go, Now.