Do you think someone can really forgive their spouse for cheating ?

Question

And if so how long do you think it takes to forgive him/her ?

Answer 1

See the only question I have asked this group :)

Answer 2

A recent poll conducted by MarriageAdvice.com found that 56% of the respondents
would rather try and work through the problem of an unfaithful spouse, than divorce
them as their first option.

The poll asked, \"What Would You Do If You Discovered Your Spouse Was Cheating On
You?\" Of the 751 respondents, 37% said they would get counseling, 19% said they
would forgive their spouse, and 37% said they would seek a divorce.

So how do we keep our marriages in tack when a spouse has committed one of the
greatest sins of the marriage commandments?

Beth Young, Senior Editor at MarriageAdvice.com responded, \"An unfaithful spouse has
trampled their marriage vows and it will be difficult to trust them for a long time.
Whether we have invested a few months or decades into our marriage relationship, we
need to seriously consider the value of our investment.

If we value our relationship, then we are less likely to look at divorce as the
first option when facing the heartache of an unfaithful spouse. Although there is
NEVER any justification for infidelity, this could act as a wake up call to try and
determine why the spouse was looking elsewhere.

After this painful mistake is worked through, and sincere efforts are made by both
spouses, they may find that their marriage is stronger and their communication much
better. Of course, I\'m not suggesting that infidelity is a good way to strengthen
your marriage, but the steps taken to repair the marriage are of value at all times
in any marriage.\"

It should warm our heart to know that the majority of the respondents are willing to
work through this serious threat to their marriage rather than throw in the towel.

Answer 3

I think you can forgive the person for the deed, but I know that I can not forget what he has done.

Hubby has cheated on me twice, and both times we worked thru it with the help of marriage/couples counseling and I have forgiven him. But there are times that it all comes crashing back in waves. The pain is so raw when that happens and it brings back all of the hurt and pain like it just happened yesterday.

As far as how long it takes, think that is a personal thing. I know for me the last time happened almost 3 years ago now. The forgiveness came about 6 months or so after I found out. But truly I have never forgotten it or let it go.

Answer 4

Only you know if there were circumstances that surrounded the cheating that could be fixed in order to ensure that this will not happen again. Also when you look at your husband only you know if he really is a cheater or if he was just stupid! Trust what you know to be true about him. I have been through the same thing and everyone tells you to leave, usually the unmarried friends, but if you can get through it, and it doesn't happen again and then you end up happily married 50 years down the line, wouldnt that be better than just walking away without at least trying? Cheating hurts, no doubt about it.

Answer 5

When my wife and I were newly weds, she cheated on me. I forgave here right away but it has been over twenty years and I still cant forget about it. We are as close as any couple could dream to be and I trust her with all my heart but I still get the occasional dream when I sleep. They really piss me off and I wake up angry. After the affair she has been the most wonder full wife and mother. So yes it is possible that you can forgive but the forgetting is the hard part. GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

You can always forgive a person, however to forget is something that is not as easy to do. Trust plays a major part in any relationship and is only won over after years of partnership/friendship. When something like that is placed in jeopardy I don't think i would be able to trust so easily and be always wondering if it will happen again. There would always be doubt in the back of my mind.

Answer 7

forgiveness takes time. It won't happen overnight. What you have to do is look in yourself and see if you have the ability to forgive him. To forget takes time as well. However i know from experience that if you don't forgive and forget, your marriage will go down hill. You will constantly be bringing it up in fights and that is not fair to either one of you.

I know its hard, but if you feel you still love him and want to make things work, go to counseling.

Answer 8

I don't think you could fully ever forgive a cheater, cuz you would never trust them there would always be this lil voice in the back of your mind brigging the same old hurt back everytime he is late or out or anything that upsets you. And is takes a toll on your realationship. I don't think there would be a certain time frame on getting over it.

Answer 9

Well, I do think that a person can forgive cheating, but they will never forget it and they will never truly put it behind them. Every argument will involve the cheating, and the trust in the relationship will probably never return fully.

Answer 10

You may forgive but you will never forget...I personally would never stay with someone who cheated...They cheat once you forgive, they take it as ok i got away with it once and will try again, you forgave them once, why not twice, three times whatever...I would leave and find someone who didnt find the need to be with someone else...

Answer 11

One can never really forgive when one truly loves him/her.

It hurts to share him/her with someone else even though if it's just ONS, not necessarily a long physical affair.

It takes a lifetime to heal the wound & forgive him/her.

If one doesn't really love him/her, it doesn't even hurt at all, maybe only ego/pride is hurt, that's about it.