Yoda has given up on me, and I just want some new friends...
2006-07-29 18:21:28 · 6 answers · asked by ? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Oh Jiminy! Can't you see they do not wish to be your friends! You are only to become their puppet, enslaved to act out their malicious plans. And worst of all, once the dark side has touched your soul, it will forever remain a quiet whisper in your mind's ear. Can you live with that, Jiminy!? *tosses an 'Idiot's Guide to Resisting the Dark Side' along with an updated copy of 'Dummies Guide to Identifying and Avoiding Sinister Characters* You may also want to consult with Master Opiwan for further advice ;)
2006-07-30 01:34:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
first you go to your 'happy place'... think about puppies and lilacs and summer picnics with lots of watermellons...
If that fails, try giving the bag lady outside the grocery your change and a pleasant "have a nice day'...
when all else fails, Tivo 24 hours of 'Happy Days' episodes and watch them till your eyes bleed....
but sometimes puppies chew up your new shoes, and a watermellon seed gets stuck in your throat and you nearly puke, and the bag lady spits on you and chases you across the parking lot yelling "The snakes are coming, the snakes are coming"...
And instead of the Fonze you get 24 hours of the greatest hits of Pinky Tuscadero....
In which case, you could be forgiven for shoving your light saber thru the gullet of the bag lady, and hurling a lighting bolt at the TV.
After all, even the light side of the force has its limits...
and just because you put an invisible strangle hold on the last person who didn't choose your answer as the 'best' answer doesn't make you a 'bad person'... after all, it was clearly an injustice and isn't fighting injustice what the light side of the force is all about!?!? Well at least that is what those hypocritical Jedi bastards claim... but the truth is, I've seen them using mind control to talk their way out of speeding tickets, and how do you explain the fact that Yoda is like the only guy that survives all the damned SW episodes??? because that sleazebag hired Jango Fett to take some incriminating photos of a certain highly placed agent at CSA with an film student intern from USC... I've got to tell ya' it chaps my Mandalorian battle armor everytime I see one of those sanctimonius sycophants preaching sweetness and light then trying to get into Padme's pants everytime Yoda turns his back... It would actually be refreshing just once to see a couple of Jedi get a royal Sith Lord *** whuppin'...
So if you still feel the Dark Side beckoning take a deep breath, concentrate your hatred by remembering the son of a ***** that cut you off in traffic on the 405 this morning... then say to yourself "resistance is futile, resistance is futile"
Now, say hello to your new master Klaatu Barada Nikto!!!
2006-07-30 03:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by Klaatu Barada Nikto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come to the Dark Side.We have cookies.
2006-07-30 01:24:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rush to a well-lit stadium.
2006-07-30 01:26:52 · answer #4 · answered by klunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look for them riding in the wind. Perhaps you'll be luckier than I as I never got to do it and now it's too late........I died......
2006-07-30 02:22:51 · answer #5 · answered by silhouette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May the Schwartz be with you!
2006-07-30 01:25:22 · answer #6 · answered by bogusman82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋