This happened to an online friend of mine who I've had as a penpal for a few years. He is really torn as his wife would never have admitted it had he not found out from someone else. He left her but he's considering going back to her. (See my other question for more details.) I told him I don't know what he should do as he is attached to the child now and I feel badly for the kid...but now he's asking other questions of me and I'm rather uncomfortable with the position he's put me in.
2006-07-29 17:42:28 · 14 answers · asked by MAK 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Wow. That is straight out of a soap opera, and a situation like that rarely ends up well, even on TV. Basically, he married her under false pretenses. Is he a religious man? He may want to talk to his pastor or priest. This is a many faceted issue, and the crappy thing of it all there is a little girl there who loves this man as her father, and will be devastated if he abandoned her. I agree with the others, DNA means nothing, he is the girl's father in her eyes, and that is all that matters. They really need to seek counciling, and he needs to do some serious soul searcing about what he would do to this little girl if he left her. I feel really badly for him. He has a weighty decision to make, and no one can make it for him.
2006-07-29 17:52:01 · answer #1 · answered by The Nag 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After reading both questions I would say that YOU need to be honest with your friend and also let him know how you feel about putting you in that position. As for the marriage Well if THEY really love each other (assuming she loves him) They can try to work it out with a councilor. If SHE does NOT love him too
From watching other people I have to say staying together for the sake of the child is NOT in the child's best interest.
2006-07-30 01:10:06 · answer #2 · answered by anita_reel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not sure why you are uncomfortable but he should not go back to her unless he wants to be with HER, regardless of the kid. If he's attached to the kid, he can support the kid whether he's with her or not. But he should only support the kid if he really wants to. If he doesn't love the kid and the kid is not his, he should get a DNA test if he made the mistake of putting his name of the birth certificate. That way he can say, she lied so that's why his name is on the birth certificate. If it doesn't matter to him, maybe he should think about adopting the kid. But he would have to have the real father's permission to do that. And of course that would make him the legal father and he would be obligated to take care of the kid. He should make up his mind what he wants to do about the kid FIRST. Then he should go to a lawyer to make sure he is protected either way. But he should definitely not go back to her JUST for the sake of the kid.
2006-07-30 00:54:45 · answer #3 · answered by ami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to do a paternity test to find out if the child has his genes, if they aren't his genes. He can't be required by the state to pay either child support or alimony because he was tricked. Tell him that and if he persists trying to drag you into the relationship don't open them for a month, your getting ivolved with drama queens, a sure sign of drug use.
2006-07-30 00:50:29 · answer #4 · answered by Marcus R. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is the one raising the child then despite DNA, he is that child's father. As for the cheating wife, he is better off without her. He can still be in the child's life if he chooses to be.
2006-07-30 00:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by I love my husband 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends, does he love her? If so, then maybe they can save the marriage. As far as the child, I am guessing his name is on the birth certificate, he is raising the child, I would imagine he love the child so as far as that relationship it shouldn't make a difference.
2006-07-30 00:49:36 · answer #6 · answered by curls 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be hard to stay married to someone who was so dishonest. How can he feel he can ever trust her. I see problems ahead. Too bad there is a child involved.
2006-07-30 00:49:14 · answer #7 · answered by chi chi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kill the woman for lying! keep the baby! u'll love the baby by then! for me, it would have been better if i found out before we were to get married!
2006-07-30 00:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there married now,and what god has brought together let no man tare apart,that what the bible said. and now its there baby,they just have some trust issues they have to work out
2006-07-30 00:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by errica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read your previous question and this one. My opinion is this guy is playing around with you. I doubt any of his story is real.
2006-07-30 00:52:50 · answer #10 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋