im starting to have feelings for a coworker the only problem is im in a commited relationship..what do i do..?

Question

i am currently involved with a man i love very much we have been together for 9 months everything is great aside from occasional arguments but other than that everything is great. I recently got a job and have gotten to know all of my coworkers really well. Well about 2 days ago i relaized that im starting to have feelings for one fo them. I love the man im with and am happy. I dont know what to do i want to talk to him about it but i also dont want to hurt him..HELP!!

Answer 1

Infatuation can be powerful. Only you can really decide how to proceed. If it's just infatuation, wait it out. It might help to talk with your man about him. By that I mean talk about your co-workers (including him) and the stuff you talk about and all the office gossip. It will dissipate the secretiveness that is driving a wedge between you and the man you really love.

Answer 2

First let me begin by saying........"been there and done that"............really messed up also. First, if you are older and truley devoted to the man you are involved with, then figure out if he is what you want. Are you having feelings for your coworker because something is lacking in your current relationship? Is this new person able to offer something you need that isn't being fulfilled? If that is the case, then you need to soul search and then go on from there. If your curiousity is just peaked by someone else that is cute.......nip it in the bud and run like hell. do NOT ruin what you have if it is truely what you want and you are honestly happy, because once you cross the line, even emotionally, your relationship will NEVER be the same. I crossed that line years ago and ruined a very important relationship........the man I was currently with never knew, but I ended up not giving everything to one man and it made our relationship suffer and end. In retrospect, I should have figured out what was wrong and why I was looking elsewhere and instead of just looking for someone to fulfill what wasnt there, I should've tried to fix what I had........if that didnt' work, then end it the right way and then move on to someone else. Please be very careful and don't do anything hasty. Don't tell the man you are involved with that you are having feelings for someone else, because that will blow up in your face and the trust will be gone and things will not be the same

Answer 3

Because you've been in a somewhat long relationship you are in what they call a rut. Basically, the things you do with your current BF has become the same, and you might be looking for more excitment. Perhaps your coworker seem more excitting right now because he MAY be more outgoing, creative, and/or attractive - but you're not really that much in love with him.

The best thing to do is to start doing more random things with your current BF. Be more spontanious, and keep him guessing. Suprise him one day in a good way, do more things together, and show him you care. But don't over do it, or he may grow tired of you. Convince him to do the same. Rekindle your relationship with your BF by doing the things you use to do when you first met, and enjoy eachothers company. Remind eachother why you feel in love rather than keeping the flame going.

The other guy may be refreshing to you, but once you rekindle your relationship with your BF you won't even notice him anymore.

Answer 4

right now what i think you should do is for get about everything and just go on with your life. Take it day to day and if that deosn't work sit down with the co-worker and talk with him and then talk with the man you love just say i have a crash You do and ther eis nothing wrong with that . Just talk it over and hey you never know maybe the one you have feels for could be the love of your life? Good luck

Answer 5

So you work with this one guy you hardly even know. Suddenly you have feelings for this guy. Notice the key word feelings. Understand LOVE isn't a feeling I dont care what any one says. When you say commited I think of some one that sticks to what ever they put there minde to. Who is in control of the feeling you or some one else (HINT) So that means you decide!

Answer 6

Then you don't love that man you're with very much and are NOT committed as you say you are because given half a chance, you'd be jumping on this other guy's bones. Either break up with whom you're with, or be prepared for the consequences of cheating.

P.S. - And you CAN'T say to your boyfriend when he finds out that "it just happened". This is textbook pre-meditated cheating.

Answer 7

hi... i'm no longer non secular, i'm open-minded, and characteristic conventional 2 couples who tried this variety of relationship... none ended up "luckily married", are divorced and left their households in ruins -- and trust me after I say, this variety of concern ought to correctly be a set up to end your marriage. The (now grownup) little ones of both couples i recognize are all embarrassed of their moms and dads - sure, all of them recognize, human beings communicate. at the same time as sexual experimentation and openness may artwork for some, the folk i knew failed miserably. in case your spouse isn't into this variety of element, i don't think of that is a sturdy concept attempting to "convince" her to do it... If someone feels forced into doing something it really is adversarial to their nature and moral status, it ought to correctly be emotionally detrimental and also risky. perchance you and your spouse ought to commence courting one yet another back, or have interaction in different activities which could deliver you closer mutually? Even taking area in a pastime of playing cards mutually or going trekking ought to correctly be powerful and permits you to have interplay and develop into closer in a non secular experience. Having sex with strangers isn't a sturdy thanks to "seize up with" from what i have considered. even if, i favor you each and each and every of the appropriate.

Answer 8

Keep your mouth shut and do nothing. As long as the feelings aren't acted on or encouraged they will pass. All this is about is making a decision. You are making it sound like you are helpless to control yourself or your feelings and that just isn't true at all.

Answer 9

wow, everything was great for 9 months. but aside from occasional arguments that is normal to learn how to solve this plm. now you see other person, wow you sure don't know how to work that plm with your first one.

Look at me and my wife we been married for 9 years and we have some arguments and we do work it out and solve it.. but you seem to solve yourself by going see other person and feeling for co worker????

Wow, good luck.

Answer 10

I don't think it is unusual to have sexual feelings toward co-workers, I do too. But I guard my heart, did you ever hear the song by Johnny Cash "Because you're mine, I walk the line?" I walk the line because I am committed. I certainly fantasize about others. BUT I choose not to act on feelings.
Did you consider telling your mate? You might be surprised at their feelings, to whom they may be attracted to.