What do I say to my boyfriend when I break up with him?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been going out on and off for 3 years. I feel like its time to move on because I'm still young (only 15). I should experience more than one person for my entire life, but he loves me to death, and he will be soo sad if I break up with him. He jokes that he will kill himself If I ever did. This is very hard for me to do in the first place, and I'm not sure if I even should do it. But what should I say to break up with him without making feel terrible?

Answer 1

When you tell him that you no longer want to continue the relationship you want to try and avoid pointing out any negatives about him. So just say something like you feel you need a break and want more time for yourself and that you want to focus more on school. Even if it is not true, at least you are reflecting the reason away from him and so it will help soften the impact of the break up. Good luck. Breaking hard is hard to do.

Answer 2

Tell him the truth. Isn't that what anyone would want?

Talk to him (make sure you are in person, not the phone), and just explain to him that you are young. You want to explore everything -- really find yourself.

Because you are so uncertain, maybe it would be best to take a little break first. Don't talk or go out for a week or two so you can experience what your life will be like without him first. You may really miss him and change your mind.

Above all though, be honest with him.

Answer 3

From a guy's point of view the it's not you bit hasn't worked since who knows when. If he's even talking about killing himself it is at least a risk that he may do just that. Like you say you are young and shouldn't put that much stress on a relationship. If I loved a woman who was going to break up with me for what ever reason, I wouldn't kill myself because I wouldn't have my last thoughts to be hurting the one person I loved so much. You should just be honest with him and tell him as kindly as you can what you're thinking without insulting his intelligence. Maybe you will decide not to break up at all, good luck.

Answer 4

I happen to agree with you. At 15 you should have been dating others. You have been with this young man since u were both quite young. Both of you have changed since you were 12.

You are correct to be concerned with his emotional state in re to the statement... He will kill himself. Teens can be very emotionally intense and reactive.

However, all this being said, you could both still date each other. It doesn't mean it has to be a complete end.

Tell him as close to your own feelings what you stated above. You are only 15, have been seeing each other since you were 12, and before you settle down and get married, you want to date other people.

Try as hard as it might to not over babble. I still care so deeply for and about you.... I don't want to hurt you.... but... cuz the fact of the matter is, this will hurt him if he still cares.

It doesn't mean you want to dump him completely out of your life, you just need some space to date other people and have other experiences in life. When he starts to cry or becomes angry or upset... If this is what you are truly wanting, prepare for it now and be strong. Hurting someone you still care about, it isn't easy.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Well first off I think if anyone is threatening that they are going to kill themselves over a relationship then I would tell him that what he says makes me feel uncomfortable, and if he still says what he says then I personally would take him to receive help. As for you breaking up with him, I would suggest that you should tell him that you don't feel that way about him anymore and (if you do) that you still care for him and that you will be there for when ever he needs a friend. You don't need to justify yourself to people just stay true to who you are and you should be fine. The whole I am going to kill myself routine is his way of toying with your emotions and he knows that you won't leave him because he has you right where he needs you the most. That's all I have to say just be true to yourself and you should be fine. Don't let his words get the best of you.

Answer 6

Hey kid, if he likes you, and you break up, guess what? He's going to feel terrible. Nothing you can do about it.

But you are right; you are still young; I would not want my daughter "seeing" a boy since age 12 for 3 years. Now that you're 15, you're understanding that's not all that healthy either, and are wanting to be "free". Thank him for what he's been to you, but tell him this is best for both of you, and try not to be so serious for a while.

Answer 7

Don't worry so much about not making him feel terrible. Honesty is numero uno for a guy: if you tell him, for instance, that he's a lousy kisser and that he smells like cabbage, he'll think, "Wow, no wonder she's breaking up with me." But if you try to soften it with all sorts of emotional sensitivity and empathy (or worse: excuses), he'll 1) never leave you alone and 2) never get over you. If you make him feel like he has any hope of getting back together with you, he'll cling to that hope pathetically for months, maybe even years. Just leave no question that you think he's a great guy who will make some other girl (who is very, very not you) happy. I'm sure you're fantastic, but guys are tougher than they seem. He'll be fine without you.

Answer 8

I was your age once & had a boyfriend off & on for 4 years but didn't start seeing him until I was 14... Back then I thought It was Love & everyone tryed to tell me that I didn't know what love was & I didn't want to hear it... They were right in a way & I was wrong in a way. I did love him in my own way..He obviously was the one who didn't know what love was & I was the fool.
He wound up to be a lying, cheating ****, who ripped my heart out practically! Now I look back & wish I would have listened to my ma & pa. I could have saved myself soooo much pain. But I learned alot from that time in mylife.. Lesson learned :)

I'm not saying that that is true for you... or that you should break up with him just to see or "experiance" different people that is just stupid! .
DO YOU Really LOVE HIM??? is the 1st question to ask yourself honestly
... I'm guessing your not sure if you love him since you think you have to -or - want to "experience" someone else!
Hunny once you've had one man you've pretty much experiened all there is.. Sex is sex.. But if it is sex with someone you love then it is that much more meaningful.. Its a good thing..
If you got love then keep it. Experiencing other men won't bring you love.. just heartache & maybe worse..
If you truly love him keep him
If you don't let em' go.

If you both love each other that is cool why end a good thing you got going??
It might just be the biggest mistake you ever make..
I know a few couples who dated the whole way through high school & got married & are still married!
However speaking from experiance you are a little bit too young to be in a uuber serious relationship.. If you really love each other thats is all good... & if your still together by the time you graduate.. then I'd say it is serious.
Oh & this b.s. that he uses saying he would kill himself is very immature!
I would definatly talk to him about that cuz that is just stupid to kill yourself for any reason!!!!!!!!

Now Without sounding judgmental or mean towards you I would say that for you to break up with him just to "experiance" more than one person is immature & foolish...
You break up for reasons like,
-if you really don't love him & you know it,
-if he's a cheater,
-if he is nasty or mentally or physically abusive to you,
-if you both have absolutly nothing in common,
(which I'm guessing isn't true since you've been together for the better part of 3 years!)
-or just to cool it off until you both grow up a bit & see what happens.

Just be honest with yourself 1st. Then you'll know what to do...
If it is breaking up with him then be honest with him.
No making up stupid b.s. to make yourself look innocent or blameless. You'll only burn your own bridge.

Honesty earns friendship which earns Respect!

If you both are honest w/each other & have a good solid relationship then your friendship can survive. Who knows he might just be the one you end up with down the road weather you stay together now or you break up.. You never do know.

Maybe I'm old fashioned...
Sorry if I seemed mean I'm really not trying to be. Just my past experience thats all.

If your not sure you love him than, let him go... just remember he has feelings too so don't say anything that you wouldn't want to hear from someone you truly love that doesn't love you back..

Having your heart broken is truly the most pain you'll ever experience all at once.. I consider it worse than child birth, migrains, stubbed toes, concussions & 43 stiches all combined!! NO JOKE!
Hope you never have to go through that..
If you ever do you can survive though.. Life eventually goes on.
Hope this babbeling helped you some.
God Bless & no matter what just be honest with yourself & him.

Answer 9

You poor thing you know you can't not break his heart. It is inevitable. You need to be out and experience life. You don't sound as though you love him the same way he loves you which really isn't fair to him or you. Just know that he may hate you for a while. A broken heart is a hard thing to handle at your age. But you can't continue to sacrifice how you feel any longer. I wish you the best of luck!!

Answer 10

First of all, you're kind of young to be dating in the first place. What do you mean experience other things? Girl, get an education. Without that, you really gon' be asking for advice. For the break-up,if you feel thats what you wanna do, step up to the plate and be a woman since you're already acting like one. Tell him how you feel and why you're breaking up with him. No one can tell you what to say... just say how you feel. If he wants to kill himself, tell him theres no reason for that because there might be someone better out there for him that can treat him like he's suppose be treated. You're young. Tell him what you're asking advice for.